Stand By Your Man?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

filed under: leslie adler

Leslie Adler: How well do you really know your man?

Megan McAllister, fiancé of the alleged Craigslist Killer, said, "What has been portrayed and leaked to the media is not the Philip Markoff that I know."

And I want to ask her ... "and your point is ...?"

What are you saying, Megan? That he never tried to tie you up and steal your money? Never beat you up in a Boston hotel? Or are you proclaiming his innocence? Are you so sure there isn't another Philip Markoff inside the mind and body of the fit and preppy blonde boy you planned to wed in August?

Is it possible you could love someone and sleep next to them and not know that they have a darker side? How would Ruth Madoff answer that question? Was she an aider and abettor of a man she knew had a level of evil that would ultimately take down financial markets and institutions and ruin lives, or the loving wife of a guy she thought had the Midas touch?

What about the Parentes (the Long Island man who killed his wife and daughters and then himself)? Did Betty Parente or either of her children have any reason to believe they would die violent deaths at the hand of the man portrayed as a loving husband?

Do I have you thinking about sleeping with one eye open yet?

I'm just sayin' ...

Enough about the psyche of the psychopath. Talk to me, a wife, a lawyer ... about what would motivate my psyche to ignore the signs? I'd like to think I wouldn't, but....

Can any of us swear for anyone but ourselves? Does love lead us to knowing someone better than all others, or is love truly blind? Or, is it something in the middle? Do we turn a blind eye and see what we want to see?

The evidence against the Craigslist killer, for example, seems overwhelming. When the press tells us about the gun in the Gray's Anatomy book, the hard drive of his computer, the bag ties he used to tie the ladies' wrists, the extra cash he suddenly had with which to take Megan away ... the underwear he collected from the victims ... we women want to ask, "You're a woman, Megan -- you never looked in his drawers when he left the room or read his e-mails?" More importantly, if you had, would it ever have occurred to you that he could be capable of such sinister acts?

Will you be looking at your man through a different lens as a result of these stories?

Leslie Adler mother, lawyer and creator of the Vuv Club shares her witty thoughts on the many roles women play in their everyday lives. Leslie also combines her legal skills and friendship experience as presiding judge of Momlogic's "The Friendship Court."