How much do you really know about his manhood?
Jodi Bryson: Crotchtacular. That's what I said to my guy the last time I saw his package tucked nicely into those yummy fitted boxer briefs that look like cotton bicycle shorts. He was wearing only his black Calvins, leaning on his elbow in bed, turning off his phone. He was waiting for me after a great dinner date, with his bulge in full view, and it warranted a compliment.
I can't deny that I have an inordinate amount of affection for male anatomy. Whenever I'm blessed to be a part of a boozy lunch with girlfriends and the subject turns to men (never!), I can't decide my favorite part. I adore wide shoulders but I couldn't be with a man who didn't have terrific pouty lips. Likewise great arms and hands are essential, but if there's no booty, what am I supposed to admire when he gets up in the middle of the night to visit the loo?
Did I mention I love man feet? Please don't call man feet ugly. They're like a cute pterodactyl claw with hairs, and I want to bite every toe.
Curiously, I never call dibs on the penis. Claiming a guy's package as my favorite body part just makes me look ... what? Oversexed? Cheap? Horny? Single? So I never claim his manhood as my fave. This is in part because the word "manhood" is embarrassing. But "little friend" isn't accurate (heeey), and "penis" is too medical for me. "Package" works. It makes it sound like a gift.
What I understand now is that none of my friends will admit it, but they love his package the most. It's the body part that likes you the best, too. Aaaah. Knit yours a little cap, why dontcha?
Now I ask you this: How much do you really know about his package? And I don't mean the way it looks or what bra best gets its attention. I'm not even talking about which move in your repertoire of bedroom maneuvers ends the evening -- ahem! I'm talking about average lengths while pitching a tent. I'm talking about flavors if he eats broccoli or dairy. I'm talking about Serious Man Facts.
The quiz is here. I fancy myself a sexpert, yet I answered exactly four questions correctly. I told my man I didn't understand his manhood the way I thought I did. He has planned a review session for later tonight. Such a thoughtful dude.
I'm inviting you to take the quiz and send us a note afterward telling us if your man's package is your favorite body part and why. We're trusting you not to get graphic or weird, you tart.
|Jodi Bryson is a journalist who likes to write about everything she loves: beauty, dogs, wine, men, kids, and sometimes furniture. In that order.|