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62-Year-Old Mom Says Age Is Just a Number

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A 66-year-old is pregnant in the U.K. Is this okay? We talk to a 62-year-old mom of 2-year-old twins for her perspective.

Elizabeth Adeney


Elizabeth Adeney
is set to become Britain's oldest mom at 66. Is her advanced maternal age unfair to her future child? 62-year-old Frieda Birnbaum, who gave birth to twins two years ago, says no way.

momlogic: What's your reaction to hearing a 66-year-old woman is pregnant?

Frieda: First of all, as far as her age, it's the same thing I experienced. It's hard to categorize a person by their age. It's almost as if you're looking at someone who's 45 and making certain assumptions as to where their medical health should be or where their physical health should be. You're making assumptions that one element in their life (their age) should define everything. Who's to say that a woman at 45, 30, or 20 is emotionally and physically able to handle a child? I don't know this woman, but all my life people have been telling me I am too old. When I was 35, I was accepted to Columbia University, and I was thrilled. I remember somebody telling me, "Well, all middle-aged people are accepted." This person tried to make a statement by saying that, and they tried to put me down. When I was 20, I was too old for marriage. When I was 30, I was considered middle-aged. At 40, I was over the hill. At 50, forget about it ... Then at 60, a reporter called me while I was in Germany having the twins, and asked, "Where's the old lady who had the babies?"

ML: At 62, how are you handling raising your twins?

Frieda: I don't feel any differently than I did at 40. I have two older children in their 30s. Then I had a son at 53, and I had the twins at 60. I don't feel any lack of energy. Yesterday, I spent the entire day playing with the twins, who will be 2 this Friday. We had a wonderful day ... they are precious.

ML: What advice can you share with the 66-year-old mom-to-be?

Frieda: My advice to this woman is to tell the truth. She should tell the true story of why she made this decision. She should tell what her life plans are, and she shouldn't let anyone tell her differently. I remember going onto the Internet and reading that I was hated and selfish, but there is a time in life when you have to look to yourself and ask, "Am I being selfish or selfless?" Be honest with yourself and really know there is still life after 40, 50, 60, and 70 years old. I believe in longevity -- the overriding factor is how long you live, not your age. I would also tell her she has a choice. She can choose to have a private life or she can be out there in the public eye and be visible. I kept out of the media for a while because I didn't want to use my twins as tools. It's been two years of making sure my life is normal and fine. I advise her to wait until her baby is bigger -- don't compromise your personal experiences.

ML: How did you feel when people said 60 was too old to have a baby?

Frieda: I am 62 now, and raising twin 2-year-olds. I have no physical problems. I am basically the same person I was at 40. Women from 40-60 are often very similar during that span with their energy. With a lot of women, you can't even tell their real age. It's not a big factor, as society seems to imply. Society needs to catch up with what's happening to women. Many women are undercover with their age. Age is not being defined appropriately. The sad thing is women live in stages of fear their whole life because of their age. It's more than just having the babies at 60. The definition of age needs to change. We are living longer, and the implications have changed. 40 is not so unusual to have a baby, and 10 years from now, 60 won't be so horrendous. Now you look back at the celebrities and other women who have had babies at 40 and 50 ... things are changing slowly.

What do you think of the 66-year-old mom? Comment below.


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12 comments so far | Post a comment now
Shannon May 18, 2009, 3:33 PM

Bravo for being a mature mother raising 2 year old twins and all, but I still think it’s wrong. I believe that when you’re at that age and stage in life you should not be bringing babies into the world. It’s unfair to the babies who will become lil people with very old parents!

joan May 18, 2009, 4:50 PM

Having grown up with much older parents myself, I felt a lot of shame with it. My friends would ask if that was my grandma, not my mom. But in the end, it comes down to how much you are loved, and that’s what matters. I am grateful to have been born at all!

Dave May 18, 2009, 6:22 PM

This is a bit selfish for her to be doing. before her children are able to drive there is the high possibility she will be dead. but thats not all. she wont be able to enjoy the things younger parents are able to enjoy with theyr children. going to the park with a walker and trying to contain your children doesnt seem like the easiest thing to do. on top of it all birth at that age produces risks of its own. i dont think this was a well thought out plan and if it was it is to only satisfy one person. to each their own but im expecting to see problems in this families future and ill at least pray fo them

mercaties May 18, 2009, 9:14 PM

I agree dave. Very selfish this woman will not be around for the majority of these childrens lives. HOW SAD!

bb May 18, 2009, 10:49 PM

Something to consider when you sell, er excuse me, “donate” your eggs. Your offspring might land in the geriatric.

kate May 19, 2009, 11:37 AM

i think its a good thing because she wants children.. but a bad thing because she is 66. theres health issues. and she might not can make it through the birth of the twins. thats alot of stress. and i noticed when my mom got older her stress level and blood pressure got higher. not good. but its whatever. let her do her thing and have kids :)

Kristen May 19, 2009, 1:17 PM

I would agree with age just being a number IF we lived to be 120yrs old but there are very few people who actually achieve this, so chances are mom will be dead before these kids grow up and I just think thats sad. I also think it’s sad to think of teenagers having to deal with the death of there OLD mother.

Erika May 21, 2009, 3:56 PM

I really agree with her. I am 31 years old. I have a two year old at home, and have a baby on the way. I have also lost two children through stillbirth and one child through miscarriage.

Just because she’s in her 60s doesn’t mean she isn’t going to live a long time. No one knows when they will die. Some people become moms at 25 and die of cancer two years later. None of us knows how many breaths we have left, so let’s enjoy the moments we do have and make the most of them.

Sounds like these kids are loved and nurtured…which is something a lot of kids in this world are lacking. All children should be so lucky to be wanted and live in a home filled with love…no matter how old their parents are!

-Erika

Erika May 21, 2009, 3:57 PM

I really agree with her. I am 31 years old. I have a two year old at home, and have a baby on the way. I have also lost two children through stillbirth and one child through miscarriage.

Just because she’s in her 60s doesn’t mean she isn’t going to live a long time. No one knows when they will die. Some people become moms at 25 and die of cancer two years later. None of us knows how many breaths we have left, so let’s enjoy the moments we do have and make the most of them.

Sounds like these kids are loved and nurtured…which is something a lot of kids in this world are lacking. All children should be so lucky to be wanted and live in a home filled with love…no matter how old their parents are!

-Erika

Liza May 27, 2009, 11:07 AM

YOUR BODY GOES INTO MENOPAUSE FOR A REASON…. Absolutely selfish. I lost my mom at 17 and it affects me still 5 years later. She never saw me graduate, get married, and have a baby…and it eats me up inside. This woman will be LUCKY if she’s around by the time they turn 18. These people never consider the future childrens lives and how they’ll be affected by that age. She’ll see when she goes to the mall and gets asked if she’s the GREAT GRANDMA.

Michelle June 10, 2009, 11:58 AM

It really irks me that people are calling her selfish. We are all lucky to be born at all! Some are born to young parents who abuse them all of their long lives and some are born to older parents who cheerish them and impart wisdom. Erika put it wonderfully. I’m sorry Liza that your mom did not live long enough to see you do those things… my mother died from cancer and I’m sure she and your mom didn’t exactly schedule their demise to avoid seeing us hit those milestones. Grow up, or I should say, gain some perspective from your situation and make the most of the milestones you have with the rest of your family and friends. Don’t postpone joy, and don’t let others dictate what you do at what age or you’ll grow old at 40!

Ten Tees January 8, 2011, 3:48 PM

Nice information! Good and fun reading. There’s a single opinion to submit about funny t-shirts.


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