A 66-year-old is pregnant in the U.K. Is this okay? We talk to a 62-year-old mom of 2-year-old twins for her perspective.
momlogic: What's your reaction to hearing a 66-year-old woman is pregnant?
Frieda: First of all, as far as her age, it's the same thing I experienced. It's hard to categorize a person by their age. It's almost as if you're looking at someone who's 45 and making certain assumptions as to where their medical health should be or where their physical health should be. You're making assumptions that one element in their life (their age) should define everything. Who's to say that a woman at 45, 30, or 20 is emotionally and physically able to handle a child? I don't know this woman, but all my life people have been telling me I am too old. When I was 35, I was accepted to Columbia University, and I was thrilled. I remember somebody telling me, "Well, all middle-aged people are accepted." This person tried to make a statement by saying that, and they tried to put me down. When I was 20, I was too old for marriage. When I was 30, I was considered middle-aged. At 40, I was over the hill. At 50, forget about it ... Then at 60, a reporter called me while I was in Germany having the twins, and asked, "Where's the old lady who had the babies?"
ML: At 62, how are you handling raising your twins?
Frieda: I don't feel any differently than I did at 40. I have two older children in their 30s. Then I had a son at 53, and I had the twins at 60. I don't feel any lack of energy. Yesterday, I spent the entire day playing with the twins, who will be 2 this Friday. We had a wonderful day ... they are precious.
ML: What advice can you share with the 66-year-old mom-to-be?
Frieda: My advice to this woman is to tell the truth. She should tell the true story of why she made this decision. She should tell what her life plans are, and she shouldn't let anyone tell her differently. I remember going onto the Internet and reading that I was hated and selfish, but there is a time in life when you have to look to yourself and ask, "Am I being selfish or selfless?" Be honest with yourself and really know there is still life after 40, 50, 60, and 70 years old. I believe in longevity -- the overriding factor is how long you live, not your age. I would also tell her she has a choice. She can choose to have a private life or she can be out there in the public eye and be visible. I kept out of the media for a while because I didn't want to use my twins as tools. It's been two years of making sure my life is normal and fine. I advise her to wait until her baby is bigger -- don't compromise your personal experiences.
ML: How did you feel when people said 60 was too old to have a baby?
Frieda: I am 62 now, and raising twin 2-year-olds. I have no physical problems. I am basically the same person I was at 40. Women from 40-60 are often very similar during that span with their energy. With a lot of women, you can't even tell their real age. It's not a big factor, as society seems to imply. Society needs to catch up with what's happening to women. Many women are undercover with their age. Age is not being defined appropriately. The sad thing is women live in stages of fear their whole life because of their age. It's more than just having the babies at 60. The definition of age needs to change. We are living longer, and the implications have changed. 40 is not so unusual to have a baby, and 10 years from now, 60 won't be so horrendous. Now you look back at the celebrities and other women who have had babies at 40 and 50 ... things are changing slowly.
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