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Jon Gosselin is NOT a Stay-at-Home Dad!

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As a stay-at-home dad, I am offended that Jon calls himself one.

Jon Gosselin

Jay Brown: Watching "Jon & Kate Plus Eight" this week turned my stomach. Both of these people have sold their souls, yet claim everything they are doing is for "their kids." What a crock!

Seeing Jon claim he quit his job to be home with the kids literally made me laugh. He quit his job (or was fired from it, depending on what you believe) because HE WAS ON A TV SHOW. That's his job.

He's not a stay-at-home dad. He has a staff of people helping him with those kids 24 hours a day. He checks in, heads to crafts service, lets the crew deal with the kids, and then he goes out. I mean, how can you go out if you have EIGHT KIDS? He's obviously not dealing with making dinners and lunches, helping with homework, picking up and dropping off kids, arranging playdates. That's what a real stay-at-home dad does!

On the show, Jon claims, "I love being home with the kids." That's like his go-to line, even though he's slouched on the couch looking miserable. I don't buy it. I can assure you I do not "love" staying home with my kids every minute. As any stay-at-home parent can tell you, there are highs and there are lows. There are moments when this is the best job in the world, and moments when you'd love to pull your hair out and go freaking berserk. You would do anything for a break. It's HARD work. It's not a walk in the park, and it's not a breeze. At times, it's aggravating. It's not just the kids you have to deal with. You're in contact with every single person that they're in contact with -- their teachers, their playdate's parents, their doctors, their dentists. It's a lot to manage having two kids, much less eight.

This guy shouldn't have a chance to breathe if he has eight kids and he's a stay-at-home dad. Larry Shine, the widowed lawyer who has nine kids on his own, is someone Jon should take some lessons from. A real stay-at-home dad is up at 5:30 AM making breakfast and lunches, and doesn't stop working until long after the kids have gone to bed.

Jon says that Kate is always off doing her book signings and at speaking engagements, while he is home with the kids. They get paid $75,000 an episode. Why is it really necessary for her to be gone so much when they are already making that kind of money? GREED. She claims she does "everything for her kids," yet she's traveling when there is really no financial need to. Well, if it's hard for you or your marriage, that makes great television -- and that's what the producers want. If my wife was gone days or weeks at a time, I would be going berserk without any help ... and we don't have any assistants or nannies or babysitters or PAs like the Gosselins do! They're playing right into the producers' hands.

Jon also says, "I didn't choose this -- it was chosen for me." What, Jon? You didn't sign on the dotted line? You didn't agree to be in a reality show? Who "chose" this for you, then? Take some responsibility for your actions. You agreed to be in a reality show where cameras follow you and your kids around twenty-four hours a day. No one else chose that for you. No one forced you to sign the contract. YOU accepted the free hair plugs. Your wife accepted the free tummy tuck. You stood in line for freebies with your hands out, accepting all the "good" parts of fame, but now that you have to experience the "bad" parts of fame, you're crying and whining about it.

Jon, you said you did the show to document your kids' lives. If that's your goal, get a Handicam and start it rolling like normal people do! You also said you worry your kids are going to Google you when they get older. If that's true, you better think about everything you do or say, and be able to hold your head high. When they look at the line "I didn't choose this life," you better be able to explain that to them.

Jon: Give back all the free stuff, give back the house, fire all the help, and THEN be a stay-at-home dad without all the luxuries that you're being offered. That's a show I'd actually want to watch.

next: The Hidden Dangers of Home Gyms
63 comments so far | Post a comment now
Just Sayin' May 29, 2009, 3:16 PM


Anonymous May 29, 2009, 3:32 PM

Well said!

laura May 29, 2009, 3:35 PM

You said it! They should be ashamed of themselves. When your own children call you the babysitter’s name, that is pathetic. Stay home already.

jenna May 29, 2009, 3:56 PM

just leave the Damn people alone. yes they may have started the TV and they are letting America in to their lives. but come on already

jenn May 29, 2009, 4:10 PM

Why is it that someone has to martyr him- or herself to be considered a “real” SAHP? Yes, Jon Gosselin has household help. I’d have household help, too, if I had eight kids. Heck, I’d take household help now if I could swing it. But you don’t know that Jon Gosselin’s household help does everything—you have no idea whether or not he makes the kids’ lunches and gets them dressed. You have no idea how much time he spends with them.

The point of being a “real SAHP” is being a day-to-day presence in your kids’ lives. It does not mean that you have to refuse help or be on the job 24/7. It does not mean that you have to be the one to fold the kids’ laundry. It does not mean that you can never go out in the evening (although I admit, trolling meat markets is a rather poor choice, lol). Jon Gosselin may be a perfectly fine SAHD apart from the crazy tv show and his dysfunctional marriage—you have no idea.

I think it’s nuts to put your kids on tv, and I think it’s even crazier to needlessly spend 2/3 of your time on the road like Kate does, and that’s really the concern here—not a pack of possibly unfounded assumptions about the role Jon Gosselin plays in his kids’ lives.

Erika May 29, 2009, 4:23 PM

Whenever a man is a stay at home parent it makes me sick. Men are supposed to be the providers. It is unnatural for a man to want to be around his kids as much as a woman, women have more patience and tolerance. That is just how we were created. I can’t see how any man could truly feel like the head of his household staying at home while his wife works to provide.

Anonymous May 29, 2009, 4:28 PM

Seriously! Who are you people that stand in judgment of anyone for their parenting and partnering skills, especially in this situation? It’s all edited, they show us what they want us to see, therefore all the opinions you have formed are SPECULATION, mere ASSUMPTIONS of what you think they are about! You DO NOT know them personally, have no idea what their daily struggles are with 8 kids and a marriage that has stress, whether it’s self inflicted or not! Everyone makes mistakes and all those sitting in judgment of them must think they are perfect parents and partners or would make perfect decisions in their situation? Get off your high horse and consider that THEY DO love their kids and want what is best for them, even if that avenue has been somewhat skewed. We would all need help in their situation; the first step is admitting they need it, and they have! I say “Let him without sin [parent and partner perfectly] cast the first stone!” (And that last post “Erika”, is just ignorant)

Holly May 29, 2009, 4:35 PM

I disagree. I commend any man who accepts being a SAHP and is man enough to be okay with his wife being the provider of the family. My husband and I switched roles for about three years. It was a great experience for seeing what the other parent goes through and really helped us to empathize with each other. Personally, I think it made our marriage that much stronger.

Katie May 29, 2009, 4:36 PM

Great post, Jay - I’ll never understand it when someone tries to abdicate all responsibility for their life choices!

Jo May 29, 2009, 4:57 PM

Erika, get in the 21st century!

Anonymous May 29, 2009, 5:01 PM

Very Impressed with the writer of this article. Maybe Kate’s attitude was caused by Jon’s lack of interest in the kids and family.

Me May 29, 2009, 5:03 PM

Erika, I hope your husband never loses his job and forces you into a fulltime job because it doesn’t sound like you could handle it, you closeminded backwoods woman! Get real. A stay at home dad is more man than most men will ever be.

Kate May 29, 2009, 5:18 PM

Give me a break. When he says he didn’t chose it, he probably means it. Has anyone watched Kate? She makes all the decisions in the house and she probably decided to do the show while he ended up with no choice. I don’t remember anything from the first season that shows him choosing this this. Kate has always been the excited and eager to please the camera. Give the man a break. It’s called a crisis of identity and many people suffer when under the pressure. And anyone that can deal with that mean Kate, should be given an award. I mean seriously, you breathe too loud? Give me a break!

DK May 29, 2009, 5:20 PM

AMEN!! Finally some one that can see clearly and speak clearly regarding this situation! I hope he reads this!

susan May 29, 2009, 5:34 PM

Couldn’t have said it better!

Jenn May 29, 2009, 5:52 PM

AMEN…someone needs to send this to them.

Jenna May 29, 2009, 5:55 PM

I dont know if im confused but Jon was fired from his job but didnt he get a job as an IT analyst? he was working full tiime but then worked part time because im sure kate made him so that he can stay home more. but eventually she made him completely quit so that she can travel and promote herself. The guy that wrote this is a full time stay at home dad with 2 kids. Jon has 8 kids. of course he’s going to need help. just because he has help to raise 8 kids doesnt disqualify him as not being a stay at home dad. its probably really stressful on him. look how much he aged from before the kids to now 8 kids. hes only 32 but looks totally beat and tired. he never smiles because hes so stressful and has the worse wife. so what if he goes out with his friends

Cheeba May 29, 2009, 6:04 PM

Jon is too arrogant to read this. I really wish people would stop giving these two fame hungry people attention.

Momof2 May 29, 2009, 6:21 PM

Holly: I totally AGREE with you. A family member of mine (male) decided to stay home and care for his young daughter for the first year of her life, since his wife was the one who made the higher salary. Although it was not always “easy” or “fun”, he looks back on it now as being the best time of his life- he was there to capture ALL of his child’s “first’s”, which is a priceless gift to be given. Sometimes the right kind of Daddy makes for a better SAHP than the Mommy does. I’ve known lots of men that a natural caregiver’s rather than their wives. With that said- any SAHP deserves credit- Mother or Father.

Anonymous May 29, 2009, 6:40 PM


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