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I Like That My Husband Checks Out Chicks

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Karyn Bryant: Let me say for the record that I don't have an open marriage. But if my husband Wade ever meets Eliza Dushku, I'm letting him make out with her.

Man checking out woman

He thinks she's really cute, and he's not wrong. Now, do I think he really would go through with it? I'm not sure: but I like the idea that my husband still finds other women attractive because I think it makes him appreciate the hottie he's got at home.

If he never, ever mentioned that another woman was pretty or sexy, I'd think his testosterone levels were dangerously low. And I do not want a man with low testosterone. That's not to say that I want him leering at every big-breasted woman who walks by (and here in L.A., there are PLENTY), but it's kinda cool if he notices a girl, says I'm even better looking, and means it. He doesn't make a habit of vocally sizing up other women, but if I ask him if a particular girl is hot or not, he'll give an honest assessment. Am I worried that he'll fall in love and run away with another woman? Not too much. I know it could happen, but I'd rather live with a man with a sex drive than a eunuch who's just nice to have around 'cause he's good with the kid.

And yes, my husband does know that I think Tom Brady is yummy -- it's kind of a running joke in our house. But we won't be playing wife-swap with the QB anytime soon. Believe it or not, he once said that he didn't think Gisele Bundchen was all that! He might have said she's too skinny -- don'tcha just love him?

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39 comments so far | Post a comment now
Nicole May 4, 2009, 8:26 AM

I completely agree!! At least someone else understands. I am so tired of women looking at me and asking me if I am crazy when I say I don’t mind my hubby looking. I say, he is married, not dead. If he thinks another woman is hot and then comes home to me, then I guess that means he thinks I am hotter!!

Mom2two May 4, 2009, 9:12 AM

The world would be a much better place if all women could have your confidence. Perhaps husbands would stray LESS.

Renee May 4, 2009, 9:38 AM

My husband and I have sat in the mall when we’re tired from shopping and discussed who think is attractive and why. And we make fun of each other’s choices sometimes!

Gigohead  May 4, 2009, 9:53 AM

I think it’s inconsiderate. My ex used to do that and frankly it didn’t bother me at first but as time went on it did begin to annoyed me. When I was much younger and men would gawk at me with their spouses I used to feel sorry for the wife. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, it doesn’t feel good.

My current spouse does not do that at all. We have been to beaches and pools and I have yet to see him gawk or look at any other women when he’s with me. Now, when he isn’t, that’s another story all together. But I do like that my man is very respectful at least in my company.

Celia May 4, 2009, 12:59 PM

Just because you’re on a diet, it doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu. ;)

Anonymous May 4, 2009, 1:59 PM

I have a huge problem with my man checking out other chicks lately. Mainly because he keeps telling me I am average looking. All the other chicks are hotter then me. It sounds like your guy still tells you he thinks you are hot and he lets you know he is still attracted to you. Not my man. Oh, my man has NO sex drive. So looking does always not equal having a sex drive.

Francesca May 4, 2009, 3:21 PM

Oh totally agree with the author.

Adriana May 4, 2009, 3:56 PM

If my choices are a sex crazed husband as you describe or a eunoch. I’m going gay. Sorry but there has to be a middle ground. I deserve to be respected and checking out chicks in front of me and so not cool. Atleast be discreet about it. But I guess there’s trouble with that scenario also. Nothing is perfect.

Marc May 4, 2009, 4:11 PM

My wife does not mind me looking. I don’t stare & when I do comment it is not vulgar. Hell, sometimes I’ll say I’d like to see that shirt/shoes/outfit/hair on my wife.

I would say this is one of the many things that makes our relationship strong.

“Not my man. Oh, my man has NO sex drive. So looking does always not equal having a sex drive.”

Sorry but that just means he does not have a sex drive for YOU. It’s pretty evident with everything you said before that. It sucks but it’s the truth.

frank May 4, 2009, 4:21 PM

The reason the dude goes back to his wife, is because he feels he has to.

tom May 4, 2009, 9:38 PM

I agree with Frank.

This article is almost as bad as the “Happy Ending” one.

I see nothing wrong with what Renee said. That’s two partners talking about each other’s preferences. But gaping at women while married.


deaddrift May 5, 2009, 9:49 PM

Gonna have to disagree with “tom” and “frank” above. I have been married for 11+ years and still think my wife (mother of my son) is super sexy. I tel her so all the time. In fact, I’m after her TOO much in her opinion.

However, she also gets freaked out if I express appreciation for another woman. I find the author’s opinion to be thoughtful and mature, and wish my wife shared it. Like the author says, Im married, not dead.

Stephanie June 16, 2009, 9:56 PM

I agree with the author of this article. I also suppose it doesn’t hurt that I myself am bisexual. My husband checks out other women, hell he flirts with other women at work (he works in a resteraunt, so it really cannot be avoided :) and that is ok with me. He is still a sexual being and I believe that the more you use it, the more fertile and verdant it grows.

Dawn June 24, 2009, 4:37 AM

I really want to be ‘mature’ about this, but I still get upset at the thought of my man getting hot over other chicks. He claims he doesn’t, but…yeah. More power to you for being confident, though. It’s making me rethink things a little bit.

Anonymous July 19, 2009, 2:48 PM

I agree. My guy looks, but I know he’ll never do anything about it. We talk and laugh about it, and he always says I look better! As the author said, at least he has a sex drive! And as long as that sex is only “driving” with me, then it’s all good in my mind. Besides, if he NEVER looked at other women, I’d probably be worried not about a lack of sex drive, but about him looking and possibly more when I’m not around!

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