As a mother, successfully dividing attention between kids, a career, and a husband can be extremely difficult. I would challenge any woman who reports that she is able to keep everything in check 24-7. Without getting personal, Kate's personality traits (however one relates to her) should not be criticized. She should be given the benefit of the doubt that she is who she is and is doing her best with herself, family, and her husband.
Jon, on the other hand, needs to man up. He should stop whining about his young age and the impact of having so many children while still under the age of 30. It is what it is. The demands of raising children can wreak havoc on a relationship. However, the kids in and of themselves aren't the major factor. The impact of kids on a marriage related to multiples is a source of conflict. That conflict may be secondary to the economic, social, and personal challenges of raising a family. Resentment is bound to be present. Underlying anger and stress may be evident and par for the course, getting in the way of successfully resolving issues.
There have been times in my own marriage when I was unsure if we would survive. There are no easy answers to the ongoing challenges of raising a family while trying to have a meaningful relationship with your spouse. My own experience has made me understand the benefit of continuing to work on your own self-development and happiness within the relationship. Maybe Kate & Jon can work it out, or maybe they won't. Either way, I hope that they both will focus on their children during the process.
|Dr. Janet Taylor is a clinical instructor of psychiatry at Columbia University at Harlem Hospital, and is a consumer health strategist and certified life coach. Her company, Mind Projects, Inc., specializes in corporate stress management and consumer health strategies. She practices in Chelsea and lives with her husband and four daughters in New York.|