Absidi: Being married to a Marine means that Memorial Day has become a very important holiday to me. My husband lost one of his very close friends to the war in 2006. They had only been in Iraq for two months when he passed. I had met his friend before my husband and I had started dating, so I did not get the chance to get to know him very well. As a matter of fact, the 12th of this month marked the three-year anniversary of his death.

On the morning of the 12th, my husband came up to me and said, "Do you know what today is?" I shook my head and said no. With his head faced down, touching the black Hero Bracelet that he has not taken off since he ordered it, he quietly said to me, "Today is May 12th." I automatically knew he meant it was the anniversary of his friend's death. I didn't know what to say to him ... and honestly, there isn't really anything to say. I got up and gave him a hug, and I noticed his eyes were watery.

The first year, he and all of his friends went to dinner for the anniversary; the second year, they all went to the beach. We had a BBQ and the boys threw flowers in the ocean. This year, all of his friends have gotten out of the Marine Corps. He was the only one who re-enlisted, so there was nobody for him to mourn with. In case you don't know, Hero Bracelets are metal bracelets that have special engravings in them. The color of the bracelet represents the different meanings; black means a death. Joel has his friend's name on it, with his birth date, birth place, and date of death.

Before my husband and I met, most of my friends were in the military. I guess I related to them better than the locals because we were all so far from home. The only difference was that I had willingly come to Hawaii, and they hadn't. I know what you are thinking -- who wouldn't want to come here, right? That is not exactly the case for them; most of the military members never get to experience the island, resulting in them hating it when they leave.

I had made many friends the first year I was out here. Most of them deployed while we were still friends. Since communication was difficult during deployment, I never heard from them until they got back. At the time, I was working at the bank. Every morning I would get there early, have breakfast, and read the paper. I remember there were about three weeks straight where I would pick up the paper and see the headline "Hawaii Marine Killed in Iraq," and I'd look down at the picture and see someone I knew. I remember the first time I saw a picture of one of my friends under that headline. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know how to feel. I was so sad, I kept wondering to myself if I had been a good friend, or if there was something I wish I could have told him before he left. It was the weirdest feeling.

When I met my husband, those same fears went through my head. I was terrified when he told me he was going back to Iraq. I thought to myself, you made it back safely once; twice is pushing it. His foot got messed up during his first deployment, and he wasn't supposed to go on a second one. So when we were told he had to go back, it was something I wasn't really ready for. Luckily (Thank you, God) he made it home safely and that is not something I have to worry about for the next couple of years.

It is really sad for me to hear the number of deaths going up. I honestly cry for every single one of our military members who have died. I literally get teary-eyed, and I don't even know the person. I just think to myself, that person was a father or a mother, a brother or a sister, a son or a daughter, a husband or a wife. I can't imagine what it would be like if that were Joel -- just the thought of it makes me cry. My world would come to an end, and I bet that is how the families and friends of the fallen feel. I know that not a day goes by that my husband doesn't think of his friend. There is always a song, a picture, a memory that keeps his friend alive. It is so easy for many of the fallen to become anonymous. I just hope that on Memorial Day they are truly honored. I know that each of them are in heaven, watching over the marines, soldiers, sailors, and airmen who are fighting this war.

Follow Absidi's story in Conception Diaries.

Connect and win in the momlogic community! Enter the community

Get the latest news, celebrity gossip, and stories! Newsletter sign up