Can this friendship be saved?
Kim from Maine writes:
My BFF Sarah and I are in a doozy of a fight and would you believe it's over the Miss USA Pageant?! I said I thought Miss California, Carrie Prejean, was a moron for responding to Perez Hilton's question about gay marriage with a controversial answer that indicated she was not in support of gay marriage. Besides the fact that I don't agree with her ignorant and intolerant response, I told Sarah that Miss California failed to realize she was trying to win a contest and when doing so, it is your job as a contestant to impress the judges and to win them over. Unless she lived under a rock, Miss California had to know Perez Hilton was gay, so why not respond with a more politically correct answer? Sarah says I am the intolerant one because I do not support Miss California's right to speak her mind. Sarah says I should respect her for standing up for what she believes in. Honestly, I think little Miss California is nothing but opportunistic and is eating up all the press attention over her dumb pageant answer, and I can't believe I am actually in a fight with a friend over it. Can this friendship be saved?
 | Leslie Adler mother, lawyer and creator of the Vuv Club shares her witty thoughts on the many roles women play in their everyday lives. Leslie also combines her legal skills and friendship experience as presiding judge of Momlogic's "The Friendship Court." |
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Email19 comments so far | Post a comment now >>
I hate that it’s good to speak your mind but only if it the same opinion of every one else. Guess what, I also don’t agree in gay marriage and if I want to say it then I will say it. Just because these day it’s sooo wrong to go against the p.c. opinion about this and many other issues doesn’t mean that I will lie about how I truly feel so I don’t hurt someone else feelings. I think if everyone truly felt okay with it then the states would have to continuely fight to get the laws pass to change the definition of marriage. Most people still believe marriage is between a man and women but I think they feel pressured to support it anyhow. Well I don’t support and I will not ever support it.
- Not P.C.
The question was not really about her opinion though. Answering questions in a beauty pageant is about using diplomacy and being able to side-step tricky questions without offense. And that does not include using the back-handed “no offense” after saying something so ridiculous. It’s not about opinions! It’s about handling yourself with diplomacy (and no, that doesn’t mean ‘political correctness’!) when representing an entire state and/or nation.
- Anonymous
When you have faith in Jesus, you believe in him and follow him. You don’t get to pick and choose what parts of the religion you follow. When you are a Christian you have to stand up against the crowd. Sometimes that means taking alot of slack. I don’t believe she was out to get attention. I saw the pageant, and I think she was truly speaking her mind. She probably had many other thoughts and the subject and chose not to say them. I know that I do, but as the good book says,”hate the sin not the sinner.”
- Kate
As a Christian I don’t think Miss California’s opinion is remotely correct but frankly she has the right to say it and in my opinion her answer shouldn’t have determined whether or not she won. The point of the question was to see how she would respond in regards to speaking. And frankly she wasn’t that great at getting her answer out. Now I think even though Miss California is a bit ignorant to what her religion really says about being gay and marriage, Perez who is being intolerant of an opinion different to his own. See people can have opinions, it’s when you start enforcing opinions on others and discriminating that it becomes wrong. Miss California wasn’t forcing anyone to believe what she said, just stating something she believed. I think one of the biggest things religious people in this nation fail to recognize is that this nation is not run based on religious rules and practices. And they should be glad because look at the nations around the world that are. Just because there is this false belief that the Bible says homosexuality is wrong doesn’t mean that this country has the right to discriminate against people in general. You can hold your beliefs, but don’t force them on others.
- Pamala
Kim only wanted to know if her friendship could be saved. I like Leslie’s answer. Everyone has his/her own opinion. In order for these two to stay friends, they need to agree to disagree. If the friendship is important, these ladies will do whatever it takes to remain that way.
- Belinda
I think she’s got guts to have answered the question in a non p.c. way. She didn’t bash on gay people, she defined what she thought marriage should be, and her rather inarticulate answer was not a novel thought in the history of human culture.
- Cheree
I agree with Belinda…the issue was about whether two friends can have a difference of opinion and still be friends.
- Marge
I agree with Not P.C 100%!!…
- Rose
What about the idea that she was trying to win a contest? Miss California had to know she would lose with Perez Hilton as a judge if she answered as she did. Anyway, let’s not forget the question is about Kim and Sarah’s friendship…and it is okay for two friends to be on opposite sides of an issue and still be friends.
- Game on
Just curious. What question was the Winner asked? Was it even half as controversial?
- Curious Anon
I think Miss California was only asked what she was because of all the Prop 8 stuff going on in this state right now. If she wasn’t from here she never would have been asked that and frankly I think that’s wrong too that she was even asked this type of question. I don’t see what it has to do with a beauty pageant.
- Pamala
If you want to be friends with a hypocrite? How is her friend being a hypocrite? If Kim’s friend, Sarah, is being a hypocrite for not letting Kim speak her mind….Isn’t Kim also a hypocrite for not letting Sarah speak her mind? I don’t think hypocrite means what you think it means.
- Tcat
This very topic is pathic. We are talking about a woman who was asked a question, answered it truthfully, and is being crusified for it. The prejudice, vendictive, nasty judge is the one who should be on the hot seat.
- Doyle Laird
While I don’t agree with MS. CA I do respect her right to have and express her opinion. Personally I think that any law that gives gay people the right to marry should also include churches/temples rights to conduct marriages as they see fit… so if they only want to perform marriages for a man and a woman they can do that or if they want to conduct gay marriages then they can do that. People should be able to choose. A law should not be put into place that limits or takes away a persons rights and the ban on gay marriage does just that. The miracles of our country are the freedoms that we have … now is not the time to start taking those freedoms away…
- AM
I think the question should have never been asked in a beauty contest, But I agree with her, Marriage is between a man and a woman, God said to go into the world and multiply the world with children?Duh if God had intended for the same sex to be together, He would have made Adam and Steve and not Adam and Eve, Get a life, Gay people you better change your ways, or hell is going to look good for you. Way to go !
- delores
I agree with AM. And Delores, shut up, kindly. When that supposed passage (Leviticus 18:22) was set in writing, the world needed to be populated and by saying the Lord said it made it so that more people went forth and procreated. But we have a world of 6.6 BILLION people! And there are many families having 8-10 children in one go thanks to drugs and invitro fertilization! We have children starving and dying on a daily basis! Why would you want to bring an innocent life into this horrible world? I would not want to be so cruel. There is nothing wrong with a few couples not having children -.- And honestly (being lesbian myself) if I’m going to Hell, I’ll see you there because of your narrow-minded hatred. The Lord is more loving than you think. If He honestly hated homosexuals, He wouldn’t have placed them here on Earth. And you can say it’s a life choice, but God made it so we had a choice, right? So why would He give us that choice if it’s wrong? Think before you type, you jerk. And I agree that this question should never have been asked in a beauty pageant. It had no standing or pertinence. But what is said is said and it is too late to take it back. Everyone needs to move on, for goodness sake…
- Gloria
bibles just a book written by men. its a story of fiction not real and has cahnged so many times and been written again and again. christians love to twist and spawn hate from the book. what is so christian about hate?
- dane
oh my god, delores….seriously? Change your ways? Grow up.
- Ann
nVkggm comment3 ,
- Gyhbilol
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