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Mom of Gay Son: Prop 8 Ruling "Hypocritical"

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She's mad that her son doesn't have the same rights as any other mother's child.

gay marriage rally on the steps of the State Capitol

Desmund Wu and James Tolen are two of the plaintiffs who filed the lawsuit regarding Prop 8. Desmund says, "I have been dating James in a committed relationship for 3 ½ years. We were really excited to get married, but weren't ready within the 3 months. We thought we had a chance. Now we're hoping to have the chance in the future. We filed the lawsuit on November 5th, 2008."

We spoke with Desmund's mother, Fatima, about today's verdict.

momlogic: Fatima, what was your reaction to the verdict?

Fatima: I am very disappointed and angry because the Supreme Court, as the highest court, should interpret the law clearly and correctly. I don't know why they ruled this way. I am really angry. For Prop 8, it's a campaign. It passed because there were so many commercials -- they kept bombarding everyone. I feel disappointed and the message is not clear. When nothing is clear and people get confused, they just do whatever other people do.

ML: What did this case mean to you?

Fatima: I support my son 100%. He's extremely sad and disappointed. I feel for him. I want the best for them and the entire gay and lesbian community, and for all the LGBT people around the world. We're living in a free country and I am so proud to be American-Chinese, and, yet, this ruling really hits us hard.

ML: How proud are you of your son for standing up for his rights and the rights of all the LGBT people in California by filing this lawsuit?

Fatima: I am extremely proud of him. It takes a lot of courage to do this. Not many have this courage and I am very proud. It takes people like my son to gain more rights for us. People don't realize it's all about equality. People say we're equal and free, but it's really hypocritical.

ML: As a mother, how did it make you feel when your son's dream of marrying his partner, James, was taken away?

Fatima: I feel his rights have been taken away and he cannot do what I can do. Why is that? He cannot do what everyone else can do. Why, just because he's gay? I don't see the point. He should be entitled to do whatever he wants, and so should all the gays and lesbians. Why can't he marry?

ML: How do you feel now after the verdict? Will you and your son continue to fight?

Fatima: We don't get defeated that easily, and we should not get defeated that easily. We need to be united and get our voices across clearly. We deserve to have the right to get married. It's that simple, but I don't know why it gets so complicated.

ML: What would it mean to you to see your son legally marry James?

Fatima: It would be great. For me and for any mother, to see her children get married, it's a very loving and special occasion. It's a very special occasion, so when I can't see that, it's very disappointing, and when someone says you can't have that opportunity to be at that occasion and share it with family and friends ... I don't see that at all.

ML: Have you always been in support of your son?

Fatima: Desmund is my only son. He and I have always been very close, and I have always supported him 100%. For Chinese-Americans, it's doubly hard to be Chinese and gay because many Chinese people still don't accept that. It's not because of religion, but because of tradition. So, because of that, I feel a parent's support is even more important because I don't want him to be alone. Especially when they're young, they're fearful, confused, and it's so hard. If they are alone, and without any support, then they don't know what to do. With my support, he can always fall back on his family and do whatever he wants to acquire his rights. I am here to love and support him 100%.

What do you think of today's ruling? Comment in the momlogic community.

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2 comments so far | Post a comment now
anonymouse May 26, 2009, 6:01 PM

I wish I had a mother as awesome as that.

Bfmnaczz June 24, 2009, 4:04 AM

Wu7djW comment3 ,

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