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Mom Will Do Porn for $$$$

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I am so sick and tired of XXX companies offering misfits and idiots millions of dollars to do porn. What about the hard-working, dedicated, and loyal women like me? Please, please, please ... Show ME the money!

mom standing in the street carrying a baby

Radical Mommy: Just last week Miss California Carrie Prejean (if you don't know who she is, then please, please, please step away from the computer and go pick up a newspaper) was offered $1 million to do a porn movie. A million dollars for being a hate-spewing, hate-mongering, bigot -- must be nice!

Just a few months before that, practically certifiable Octomom Nadya Suleman was offered a million smackeronies to strip off and have sex for the cameras. A million dollars for being a stupid, selfish, fame-whore, leech, wackadoo -- must be nice!

Neither of those women (read: idiots) took the porn companies up on their offers, so I would like to raise my hand and say really loudly, "Please pick me!"

Now a lot of you might think I'm crazy for saying I would do a porn movie, but in this economy -- and with the uncertainty of the future -- you're damn straight I'd shake my (jiggly) grove thang for the camera.

As far as I am concerned, $1 million (after taxes) would change my life, and the lives of my son and husband, inexorably. Now I'm not a fool; I know that a million dollars won't get you very far these days -- especially living in California -- but it would give us some security and peace of mind.

If we wanted to, we would be able to pay off our house -- but that wouldn't leave us very much -- so what I would do is put the money (all of it) into the bank, or a bond, or whatever, and take the interest -- hopefully about $30-50,000 a year -- and send my son to private school and then college. After that, I would use the interest for whatever we might need that year.

Like I said, I know that we wouldn't be rich, but if something happened and we needed money, we wouldn't have to stress about it -- and I think that me having sex with a stranger is worth that peace of mind for my family.

Now, before you start calling me completely crazy -- I do have some rules. I would only make one movie; I would only have sex with one person; and I would not do anything that I consider humiliating. Also, I would only allow the movie to be sold for 5 years -- that way, when my son is about 10, the movie will be off the market (yes, yes, I know it would still be in people's homes, but I don't care about that).

As for what I would tell my son, all I have to say is, I wouldn't. At least not until he was much older. If he finds out, he finds out -- but I would not be ashamed of it. After all, sex is sex, and if you say you've NEVER had sex with someone you didn't know very well, then I know you are a liar, liar, pants on fire -- LIAR! And if by some remote chance you really didn't, then I KNOW that your husband has and you obviously have no problem with that since you married him, so you can't possibly have a problem with me doing it (literally and figuratively) for the family.

So basically, all you X-rated movie companies and producers out there -- I am throwing my granny panties into the ring. If you're looking for a middle-aged, debatably overweight, mother of one to get busy in your next movie -- then I'm your woman and I'll be waiting by the phone!!!

See Also:

Times Are Tough, Moms -- Get Naked!

Jon SHOULD Cheat on Kate

What If You Only Had One Month to Live?

Hey Son, It's OK to Be Gay!

Octuplets Mom SHOULD Do Porn!


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23 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous May 12, 2009, 8:12 AM

Dear Radical Mom: From here out, I will no longer read any of your posts. It’s funny to me that you would use such language to describe Carrie Prejean when she said nothing hateful but spoke her true feelings and you get to speak your mind and say hateful things but that’s okay right? Good luck with the porn…

Still believe in good values May 12, 2009, 8:22 AM

Let see, you APPROVE of cheating on your spouse or is itonly okay for John? you HOPE that your son turns out gay and you REALLY want to do porn. I can’t imagine that you could be a good role model for your child or a good wife to your husband. You need to find some self respect and values.

Trina May 12, 2009, 10:43 AM

I don’t care how much my family needed money, ain’t no way I would stoop to that level. And there is no way my husband would allow it. Marriage is sacred, and with that, sex.

Scarlett May 12, 2009, 10:58 AM

Screw the bigots and prudes! I’d do it, too. You know that if these women ever HAD the opportunity to, they would.

conservative May 12, 2009, 11:29 AM

i can not believe a mother who seems to care about her sons education would want to set the example of success to her children as being in porn. further more what kind of society are we in when someone stands up for christian beliefs and are ridiculed constantly??? with you approving of porn, cheating, and wanting your son to be gay that shows that you need a huge reality check on morals and values

AM  May 12, 2009, 1:26 PM

Lord forgive her for she knows not of what she speaks. Does your husband read your posts?? Does he know that you want to have sex with another man? How exactly do you think he will treat you once this one time only, porn is filmed? He may say that he’s on board. He may even spend some of the money… in the beginning it may be fun, but eventually I guarantee he will begin to treat with a distain and disrespect that will grow and eat away at your marriage and your self esteem in a way that will change you forever. And it will not be good.

flink May 12, 2009, 3:07 PM

Good for you, Ma’am.

I know that a lot of the people who have made disapproving comments are mad because what you say is in direct violation of their personal beliefs, however odd those might be.

IMHO, you are your own keeper and as such have the right to do anything that lets you sleep at night. Let me know if you get hooked up and I’ll buy your vid.

nomorenadya May 12, 2009, 5:05 PM

You’re not crazy, at all.
I’d take an offer like that in a minute!

DEAD BIGOTS = BALANCE IN THE WORLD May 12, 2009, 7:44 PM

Sex for money and same sex relations is as old as the human race itself. I can only assume that those of you who are strongly against these REALITIES are the same kind of people that would turn your cheek to the MURDER and SUFFERING that have been forced apon those who choose to life “free” from “YOUR” way of thinking. I belong to neither group but still feel frustrated when people think thats it’s ok to “force” their opinions and religions upon others via the law and other things that should be strictly “logic” based. It’s unfortunate that this way of thinking is still around. But thankfully it is slowing but SURELY dieing out. Humanity is becoming more intelligent and advanced with every birth as we speak. Soon enough arguments over such trivial drivel, based on nothing more than plain and simple bigotry, will fade.

Selaris May 12, 2009, 8:23 PM

Morals vary from person to person…Don’t yell at this woman because you don’t agree with hers. And don’t shove yours down her throat, either. If you don’t agree with her, fine. That’s your right. But don’t judge unless you’re perfect….Christians.

That said, I’d do it if I had to. Some people would just rather be righteous than get the job done however they needed to.

Tricia May 12, 2009, 9:36 PM

Who are these people that commented so negatively?

Funny post! Whether you would really do a porn or not the whole premise is pretty funny. Because really, who wants to see octomom in a porn, Carrie Jean is a different story, but still.

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Christy June 19, 2009, 4:59 PM

“After all, sex is sex, and if you say you’ve NEVER had sex with someone you didn’t know very well, then I know you are a liar, liar, pants on fire — LIAR! And if by some remote chance you really didn’t, then I KNOW that your husband” Guess what? There are married couples out here that have only had sex with each other within their committed relationships. But since you KNOW everything about everyone’s sex lives, I guess we must all be LIARS!

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cheyenne July 20, 2009, 1:04 PM

I like the post :) Funny… and actually a normal person out there writing stuff. Awesome!

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 July 22, 2009, 9:42 PM

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