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Mother's Day Ended My Marriage

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When my husband decided to blow off Mother's Day, all hell broke loose.

upset wife and husband

Guest Blogger Cheryl: I love holidays and Mother's Day is no exception. I enjoy that one day where you are made to feel like a queen. The one day you are rewarded for all of your multitasking, effort, and dedication to being a mom. I usually get breakfast in bed, back rubs until I fall asleep, flowers, and help around the house. Mother's Day this year, however, will go down in history as my absolute worst.

I knew Mother's Day was off to a bad start when my husband informed me the night before that the holiday had nothing to do with him and it should be between me and the kids. Are you kidding me? Is this the way men really think and my husband just happened to voice it aloud?

In the morning, I was handed a cold cup of coffee by my husband. My card and gift were left downstairs. The card and gift had been bought hours earlier after my husband asked me, "So, what do you want anyway?" No thought, no advance planning, no special effort put forth at all. It was so disappointing.

What bothered me the most about the day was the fishing trip he took with the kids. I was expecting some help with projects, someone to pamper me, and kids around to make me feel like the most special mom in the world. Instead, I ended up at the gym burning off the upset while watching dads juggle their kids so their wives could go have some fun on Mother's Day.

Honestly, ruining a mom's Mother's Day is a really rotten thing to do because it is the one holiday that honors the sacredness of what we do day in and day out. It isn't easy being a mom. Do we make it look so easy that some men feel it requires no celebration at all some years?

My mother tells me to never let someone else ruin my day. She is right, trust me. But it doesn't take away the feeling of being emotionally robbed on the most precious holiday in the world to mothers. I chose to sleep on the couch that night. My husband chose to move out. Mother's Day essentially marked the end of our marriage.

Many people have asked me how I will handle Father's Day with my husband out of the house. Some offered horrible suggestions to make it as miserable on him as possible. Gotta love those girlfriends! But, because I am an exceptional mom, it will be a nice Father's Day for him because I will be sure my children know what true kindness is. I will have the kids make him the best homemade cards ever and bake and package up his favorite cookies in a nice box the kids can decorate with thought, love, and care.

I will do this because there is no room for anger, spite, or ill will when you raise children. Children model our behavior as they watch us handle conflict. I want my children to know they have a strong, loving, and kind mother now, yesterday, and every day, no matter what cards she is dealt. If my children can learn that lesson from this, then the crappiest Mother's Day in the world was well worth the pain.

next: Read Me Like a Book
74 comments so far | Post a comment now
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Val March 19, 2011, 8:21 AM

Hmm… I’m thinking that there were problems before Mother’s Day and this was just a catalyst for him moving out. If that’s all it took to break your marriage, then there were issues leading up to this day. Especially if all past Mother’s Day with your partner were different…

grafologia April 9, 2011, 11:05 AM

I feel it is a truely good point of view. I most often meet people who rather say what they suppose others want to hear. Good and well written! I will come back to your site for sure!

The Realist April 29, 2011, 1:41 AM

Men…don’t get married! Ever!

Anonymous May 9, 2011, 6:39 AM

No wonder some men treat women’s feelings so callously when so many of the replies here are from WOMEN saying “big deal.” Our own worst enemies - what a shame.

Most mothers these days do it all - work, kids, husbands, housework, yardwork… yeah, I think one lousy day of being shown appreciation and being cherished isn’t too much to ask or expect.

Anonymous June 17, 2011, 12:20 PM

no comment

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