Kimberly Seals Allers: Maybe it was wrong of me to expect, after seven years of marriage, two children, and a no-drama-from-me divorce, that the wasband could have at least sent a "thanks for keeping my kids alive b****" text message on Mother's Day. Or given the kids $20 toward their own Mother's Day efforts.
After all, Mother's Day is about acknowledging and recognizing all the hard work mothers do. And while we expect mothering to be a thankless job when it comes to our children, we do expect grown-ass men to recognize it.
Well, I expected that.
Given the skimpy or nonexistent child support, the inconsistent visitation, and my continued efforts to make sure he stays involved in our children's lives, I think a small thank-you would have been in order. I can't help but feel that all across the nation yesterday, even baby-daddies and one-night-stand Dads took a millisecond to send even a text message or pick up some gas station flowers in a weak Mother's Day effort. Not my wasband.
He seems oblivious to the fact that his children are clean and well-dressed when he doesn't pay a dime. That his son started reading at age 4 because I work with him every night, and that his daughter is a straight-A student in dance and sign language classes. These things must have happened because of the parenting fairy.
I always dreamed, even through the divorce, of a positive co-parenting relationship. So far, it remains a dream.
|Kimberly Seals Allers is an award-winning business journalist and founder and editor-in-chief of MochaManual.com, a weekly online magazine for moms of color. She is the author of "The Mocha Manual to a Fabulous Pregnancy" and "The Mocha Manual to Turning Your Passion into Profit." Kimberly is a divorcing mother of two and lives on Long Island, NY.|