Luckily, last week a nail spa opened up really, really, really close to me -- well, actually, in my bathroom. (Her restaurant has been closed for months) Lily has become obsessed with giving manicures. Granted, her technique takes a little getting used to --- she sits in a bathtub as she works and occasionally pretends to swim like a "fishy." But besides that it's a pretty good experience.
Here's a rundown of what you should expect if you want to try this new kind of manicure that's all the rage at my house.
She's smart, building up her business slowly. Currently she only has one station and one chair, actually you just sit on her potty on the side of the tub. (Lid closed of course!) But be careful you're not wearing anything you want to keep dry. The manicurist, at unexplained intervals, likes to splash her clients.
First she scrubs your fingernails with a tiny washcloth until you beg her to stop. Then she inexplicably and quite meticulously shoots each individual nail with her pink water gun. Finally, she "shapes" and "files" each nail using a hair comb.
You won't find the regular brands of nail color at Lily's salon. Instead, you can choose from a bunch of brightly colored bath toys. No need to be overwhelmed by the choices. No matter what color you choose, she ALWAYS recommends pink. She's pretty insistent.
Lily: What color do you want your nails? I have pink, blue, green, yellow, purple...
Me: I like purple.
Lily: I don't have purple. I have pink.
Me: (holding up the purple toy) I'd really like purple.
Lily: Which pink do you want? Light pink or dark pink?
Me: Hmm, how about purple?
Lily: (meltdown time) I don't have purple!! I HAVE PINK!!!
Wow. Touchy. Alrighty then, pink it is.
You don't have to worry about fungus or any of the other regular nail salon problems. But do be aware that she has been known to poo in the tub. When that happens, the nail studio is shut down and drained.
Like any establishment worth frequenting, the hours are extremely limited. Just a very narrow window at bath time. Usually right between the ear-piercing screams of "I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A BATH!" and "I DON'T WANT TO GET OUT OF THE TUB!!"
I think I must be running a tab, because not once has she asked me to pay her. I dread the day she shows me the bill. I've been getting a mani-pedi every day since her studio opened. Dad got a manicure the other day and he told me it cost him 3 months -- we're still not sure if that's a currency or a pay schedule.
I always get tons of compliments after I get my nails done -- usually just from the tiny manicurist -- but honestly, isn't that the best kind anyway? I think so.
Has your kid opened a business in your home?