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Wake-Up Call -- Your Husband is Cheating

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Sarah Symonds, foul-mouthed chef Gordon Ramsay's alleged mistress, gives it straight. Here's how to affair-proof your marriage.

man staring at woman in hotel room

Sarah Symonds: If a wife is in denial of her husband's possible affair, it usually means he is cheating anyway. To be in denial is to be insecure, and that means you will miss the early detection signs.

Also, men are attracted to confident women, so I urge all women not to be in denial -- as it is an unattractive quality. Do NOT think your husband will never cheat on you. Do NOT assume or take for granted that he is "just not the type." The wives who write to me for advice on their husbands' affairs have all kicked themselves for being so laid back.

Do NOT be in denial of your weight or of your appearance, as I can assure you, there is always someone younger and hotter ready to take your place in your husband's affections if you give him cause to feel unloved or second-best. Therefore -- although it is a lot to ask -- do NOT make your kids your life. So many men I have talked to, and known intimately, have told me that they didn't "want" to cheat on their wives, but due to their feeling that their wife made the kids her first priority, they felt left out and their own emotional needs were NOT being met. I believe wives need to act more like mistresses in order to keep their husbands hot for them, and them only.

husband about to cheat on his wife


next: Jon Cryer's Ex-Wife Arrested for Child Abuse
33 comments so far | Post a comment now
Danielle Buffardi May 29, 2009, 8:20 AM

I don’t agree.

My child comes first. Before my husband especially.

That’s my opinion.

jennifer May 29, 2009, 8:45 AM

I have mixed feelings about the article and the author. On the one hand, I find it reprehensible that she is blabbing to the world about her affair. On the other hand, it seems as if she is using her past mistakes to try to help other women.

anonymous May 29, 2009, 9:23 AM

I think that a woman shouldn’t ignore the needs of her husband, but the kids always come first. If he can’t realize that, he’s immature and not worth either woman’s attention - the wife’s or the mistress’s.

Kirstie May 29, 2009, 10:25 AM

Just remember that eventually, your kids will grow up and leave for their own lives.

Kay May 29, 2009, 12:07 PM

My 2 little girls are the world to me, and i would do anything i could for them, but as it was said, one day our kids will grow up and move on with there lives, and i will be here with my man only, if we live our lives just for the kids what happends when they move out… so i understand what is being said here..

Jen May 29, 2009, 12:41 PM

Putting your marriage first does not mean not meeting the needs of your children. Making your marriage a priority will result in happier spouses and happier kids. Everyone wins.

DS May 29, 2009, 2:12 PM

What is curious to me is the mentality that it is either kids or husband. If you are married with kids you must take care of yourself, your marriage & your kids. Sound like too much? Then you should have thought about that before. Yes it is hard, I know, but worth it.

If you can’t take care of yourself, what good will you be to your kids? If your kids grow up seeing a bad marriage as the model for how adults have relationships, you are doing them great harm. Your kids will feel far from first if you and your husband cheat/split/divorce. Life is a work of art: Work hard Love harder!

stephanie May 29, 2009, 2:43 PM

Just when I think that my marriage is happy and everything is great, one of these articles come out.

My husband *has* been being nicer to me- and instead of just enjoying it like a normal person, now I have to worry about him cheating on me.

I can always count on momlogic for fearmongering!

Dave Lucas May 29, 2009, 2:46 PM

GRROWL! We men are a1l lecherous beasts! Lookout you silly wimmenz! Seriously, what about hubbies whose WIVES cheat? There’s more than enough “desperate housewives” to go around!

Kris May 29, 2009, 5:54 PM

She says to never think or assume that your husband will never cheat well you know I’m that damned confident and secure in myself and my abilities to love and satisfy my husband sexually that he won’t cheat and if he did hell I can do better with someone else and if I never find that someone else guess what I can and will live with it I hate when people say never say your man won’t cheat oh please I have been confident in my abilities as a woman since I grew into an adult and I’ll be damned if I will let a loss morale lady or a cheating husband take away that confidence and self assurance away hell some may even call it arrogance & cockiness but hey its a kris wide world to me!!!!

Christina May 29, 2009, 6:35 PM

Wow… let’s reduce the morals of ALL men to that of a quivering 16 year old with raging hormones a boner that needs to be hidden behind school books.

Not all men are pathetic enough to blame the foibles of a marriage all on the woman, and then to justify his actions by accusing her of “driving him into another woman’s arms.”

Not all men are “waiting for something better to come along,” so that one little argument, or 5 pound weight gain will make all of your years of commitment to one another as inconsequential as a spring fling.

What a load of crap.

Consider the source. Phhhhhtttt.

nikki May 29, 2009, 6:35 PM

The best thing you can do for your children is show them a happy healthy relationship with their father. Your marraige should come first. That doesn’t mean you neglect your children…it means if you make your marraige a priority, your children will benefit completely.

K&C's mom May 29, 2009, 11:59 PM

If your marriage has a strong basis, guess what? Neither one of you will even think of straying!!! I didn’t get married until I was 32, because I couldn’t find a man that would take the vows seriously!!! I can say with all confidence that MY HUSBAND WILL NEVER, EVER CHEAT ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gail Cooke May 30, 2009, 3:28 AM

Well, I hope this sl*t remembers that he’s just as likely to cheat on her when he gets bored. People who cheat can never be trusted. And he can’t trust her because she knew full well he was married…hope they both get a taste of what they are doing to his wife. Uncouth people.

Lisa May 30, 2009, 2:53 PM

Has anyone, other than myself, noticed that articles like these seems to be playing on the insecurities that they know many women face, I.E, infidelity, baby mama drama, the “other” woman, things a woman should do to keep her man, etc. etc. To me to continue to discuss these types of problems only seems like it enhances them. As a single woman, I choose on purpose not to be around a bunch of other single women, and certain married women who keep talking negativity about relationships, marriage, or how there’s no good men out here…etc, etc. Who wants to be in the company of other miserable people??? I don’t.

Jenny May 30, 2009, 3:26 PM

sorry my child comes first if his father doesnt see that then theres something wrong w him!

meka  May 30, 2009, 4:06 PM

Why in the hell does every relationship problem the woman’s fault, walk around the house looking like a Vicky Secret model at all times so he can get HIS rocks off, OOOh please him, make him feel loved, go anorexic for him to love you. I am so sick of women getting blamed for a whorish azz man. He only loves you until the newness wears off anyway. Ask Halle and shes gorgeous.

Anonymous May 30, 2009, 5:16 PM

she’s so ugly, who would want to screw her?

Mimi May 31, 2009, 10:09 PM

Danielle, actually, I believe that your relationship with your husband is to come before the children. I am not saying to neglect your children. They definitely need you, too. However, it is very important to not forget that you are in a marriage. Many men feel neglected after the children arrive. Having kids does not excuse you from being a wife.

anon June 2, 2009, 8:35 AM

What about the husbands who neglect the needs of their wives? I think this article is a bit sexist assuming the wife isn’t equally as deserving to have an attentive spouse.

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