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Scary Mommy: My Momlogic

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Scary Mommy: My Mom Logic

Scary mommy

It's so easy to judge mothers before you are one. So easy to roll your eyes at children misbehaving at the mall. Question why parents would bring an obviously overtired child out to dinner on a Saturday night. Snicker at a horribly mismatched ensemble that some two-year-old is sporting. Judge the three-year-old with the pacifier or the diapers or blankie in public. It's all just so easy.

Until you find yourself a mother. And then things become hard. Really hard. All the energy you spent on judging others seems like a complete waste of time. Suddenly, you begin recognizing yourself in them. You realize that you have become the source of the eye rolls and the snickers and the judgment. And it all seems so silly.

When I leave the house with a daughter dressed in head-to-toe clashing pink and rain boots on a sunny day, I hope that other parents just know I let her dress herself. When I need to snag a few wipes from another mom at the airport, I assume that she's been in the same "blowout diaper with no wipes left" situation. Haven't we all? When my baby eats a french fry off of the floor, though repulsed, I know it's not going to kill him. And when the twenty-something, child-less girl scowls at me, I'm the one rolling my eyes at her. Soon enough, she'll be in my shoes.

Life is short -- it's a lesson we bloggers have all learned the hard way in recent weeks. I want my children to feel safe and loved. That's what parenting is all about, isn't it? A fight over a T-shirt is not worth it at five o'clock in the morning and sometimes cereal for dinner sounds pretty darn good. Puddles are fun to jump in and a little ingested dirt never really hurt anyone. And that three-year-old who still needs a paci to sleep? Yup, he's mine. Go ahead and roll your eyes if you've never been there. Someday you might be, and it ain't easy.

At the end of the day, if my kids are clean, fed, and know how much they are loved, I consider that day a success. Most days, I'll just take loved. That's my mom logic.


next: Finding Yourself, Despite Yourself
6 comments so far | Post a comment now
Dr. Leah@ www.singlemommyhood.com May 10, 2009, 8:01 PM

I’m laughing and getting emotional at the same time. This is such a great post. I can surely remember those judgmental eye rolls as well as the “no more baby wipes” panic.

If your kids are happy and safe, everything else is a detail.

Ady May 10, 2009, 9:18 PM

Before becoming a mommy I was judgemental too. I used to wonder why people couldn’t control their children. Now I have sympathy for those parents whose child may be giving them a hard time. I guess it comes down to is to not judge another until you walk a mile in their shoes.

single mom seeking May 10, 2009, 11:25 PM

Such a poignant post for Mother’s Day. Thank you.

I remember those “blowout diapers with no wipes left” all too well…

Toni May 11, 2009, 11:37 AM

Before becoming a mom I had those “control your kids, lady” thoughts. But a friend of mine and I recentley realized, when it comes to kids, especially little kids- YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION!!! You do the best you can to manage it, but you really have no control. It is all a mom-illusion that we put on children so they believe we have the upper hand!

ame i. May 11, 2009, 12:06 PM

By the grace of the Lord, neither of my daughters was a meltdowner/tantrum thrower but I sure don’t judge the moms of kids that are.

Anonymous July 7, 2009, 6:16 PM

so true. its always different when you have kids.


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