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My Mom Logic 

I think I gave up on the idea of motherhood being logical a while back. You see, life was following a pretty logical, predictable course for me. I fell in love, married my high school sweetheart, bought a house, started a career, and a few years later, got pregnant.

That is the end of my logical story....

34 weeks and 3 babies later I found myself in the most chaotic state of motherhood that I could ever have imagined. This certainly wasn't my "white picket fence" version of what my life should be. Visions of quiet moments blissfully snuggling my baby to sleep, proudly taking my baby out to the grocery store with me, and happily recording every little memory down in a baby book were quickly replaced with the reality of raising triplets. Life became a routine blur through which I moved like an automated robot. If it weren't for several cups of coffee a day and the support of my husband and family, surely I would never have survived.

But I did.

We began to get into a groove around here. Three babies, it's not that bad. The unpredictable newborns turned into delightful babies who gave my husband and I days full of exhausting yet wonderful adventure. We were approaching their first birthday and felt like we had conquered the world and I began thinking about maybe going back to work. Yeah that's it, I'll go back to work. Seems the logical thing to do ...

Then I got pregnant.

You've heard the stories about the surprise baby that many couples who at one point struggled with infertility have later in life? Well, the stories are true! I found myself at a most-illogical point in motherhood. I had 4 babies in 18 months. I'll spare you the details of my terrible pregnancy nausea and the adventures of caring for 3 babies while carrying our 4th. I can tell you that this part of the story ends with an amazingly delicious 9lb baby girl who is the delight of our lives. All was well with the Williams family again until the most illogical thing of all happened.

My son was diagnosed with cancer.

I still can't wrap my head around this one. How can a 21-month-old boy who is perfect in every way have cancer? My logic failed me once again as I looked at my life and just couldn't imagine stacking one more stressor onto the pile our family was carrying. We are now 3 months from Brady's diagnosis, and guess what? We are all still here. I wish I could tell you that I have finally been able to make sense out of all that has happened since I've become a mother. Certainly I have no way of explaining the "whys" of my life, but I have come to a full understanding of the "hows."

So many people tell me, "God won't give you more than you can handle." My answer now is without a doubt, He has. I can't handle the pain of facing my own child's mortality. I can't handle letting him go into the operating room not knowing if he will come back to me. I can't handle being separated from my other three children as we take our sick son to another city to seek treatment. I can't, but with God, I can.

Logic, no ...

With faith ... YES!

For me the only sense I can make of my life is that God has a plan for me, for my family, for my children. He has promised not to leave me, that I'll never walk alone. Will my life be without pain? Of course not. Is God using every happening in my life to His glory -- I pray that He is! My faithful blog readers can tell you that this 3-month blogging journey has been a wild ride. Most days I'm all over the place with emotion, but I pray that every day I can show that this mom is imperfect, yet faithful, and that is the most logical lesson I can share.