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Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hobbywood?

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Vivian Manning-Schaffel: I didn't want to like Tori Spelling. She is the antithesis of my working-class, New England upbringing, but in spite of this chasm, I feel I can relate to her. Which is why I find "Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood" completely relaxing from my comfy vantage point on the couch.

Tori and Dean

Anyhoo, like many of us, she's a working mom who struggles with the juggle. This week, she laments to her BFF Jenny about "missing moments" with her two-under-two. She's been left in charge of moving houses with overwhelming work obligations and those of her kids, while her husband Dean stars in a movie -- and indulges in his motorcycle fixation. And a disturbing convo ensued:

Jenny says, "That's [the motorcycle] his guilty pleasure. That's his hobby."

Tori asks, "Where's my guilty pleasure? Where's my hobby?"

Jenny says, "You aren't in the place where you can have a hobby. You can't even figure out how to manage the time to give your kids quality time and your work."

Tori gets pissed. "I just don't get why men get to have hobbies and women don't!"

And from the couch, I yelped -- WORD! Why is it that a lot of men get to have hobbies while women don't?

The answer is quite simple: We let them.

Now, I can't complain. My husband's hobbies don't cramp my style at all. He hikes one weekend once a year, reads while transiting to and from work, and I get to enjoy the fruits of his culinary prowess.

That's the dynamic we carved out. If I need more participation, I speak up. But a lot of women do what Tori did: Send their husbands along to frolic amongst their hobbies for hours on end while quietly stewing with resentment.

Stop the insanity! Tori, the next time you desperately need a mani, GO. Take a turn. You work hard. And what'd you do with that baby nurse anyway?

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5 comments so far | Post a comment now
Secret Mommy May 29, 2009, 3:24 PM

I’m like you, I don’t want to like Tori, (or the show for that matter) but for some reason I do. I wasn’t offended by her friend’s remarks, however. I sort of do feel like the childrearing is primarily my responsibility…though my husband doesn’t have any hobbies and never leaves me alone when he’s not working, so maybe I wasn’t offended because I haven’t lived that situation…

Anonymous May 29, 2009, 11:09 PM


RachelAZ May 30, 2009, 12:23 AM

I love Tori & Dean! I never liked her until I saw the show though, she’s surprisingly goofy & down to earth!

Anonymous May 30, 2009, 5:13 PM

Especially when they fart!

ahve June 22, 2009, 12:03 AM

I never liked Tori before I watched either…And yes she is very likeable.
That said… Dean seems like an a—.
Own it Dean,your vain with the eye surgery.And quit being Tori’s 3rd child.
Be a man and sacrifice your fun for family.Make it a family hobby.

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