I met Barbara two years ago when she came to work at the company I worked for. We became instant friends and have been doing social things together outside of work ever since. A few months ago we decided to plan a vacation together, a "single girl's wild time" in the Bahamas. We talked about it incessantly and seemed to be on the "same page." Well, we just got back and I have to tell you it was a disaster from the minute our plane landed. Barbara turned into a whiner and a complainer. The "transfer" from the airport was a group van, not a taxi, and that was no good. The hotel wasn't what she expected and she obsessed over whether she was "getting value for her money" the whole week. And a "wild time"? Barbara wouldn't know a wild time if it slapped her in the face. She didn't want to go to any clubs or bars at night, she wouldn't partake in any beach games, when guys tried to talk to us she acted like a jerk. Barbara ruined my vacation! Now we are back at work and I can't even look at her. Can this friendship be saved?
Leslie Adler: Karen, sometimes the more important question is whether you want the friendship to be saved ... and this is one of those times. It sounds like Barbara was not at her best in the Bahamas. Do you want to just chalk it up to the idea that you and she make good "work buddies" but are not "vacation-compatible"? Or, do you want to face the fact that this is a side of Barbara you just don't like and decide she is no longer worth the effort? Since you are asking me, I will tell you that I would lay low for a week or two and then I would resume the work friendship (simply because it worked in the past and the workplace is complicated enough) and never talk about vacationing with Barbara again.
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|Leslie Adler mother, lawyer and creator of the Vuv Club shares her witty thoughts on the many roles women play in their everyday lives. Leslie also combines her legal skills and friendship experience as presiding judge of Momlogic's "The Friendship Court."|