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Yes, I Pack My Hubby Condoms

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Here's why.

husbands wallet with condom in it

Natalia: "REALISM" is the word of the day. I have always secretly packed condoms in my husband's suitcase before he goes out of town. He's a professional athlete in the NBA, handsome, and completely normal. He says, "Sweetie, you don't need to do that," and I respond, "Just give them to the other players ... make sure they're safe." I understand that young guys (older ones too, LOL) can't always think clearly when their blood is racing from their brain to other places. I don't condone cheating and I make that very clear! Anyway, not having a condom isn't going to stop most men, they'll just have unprotected sex.

Of course, we married women want to believe that our husbands only have eyes for us. Don't get me wrong, your guy may be one in a ton of men that only sleeps with his wife. Congratulations, and continue to enjoy your happy monogamist life together.

Here's the bottom line: I'm the most important person to me! I'm trying to stay healthy. I may SOUND like one selfish bitch, but I'll tell you this ... if he brings something home that he didn't leave here with, I'll ACT like one crazy bitch! Sure, most men have good intentions and love their wives very much ... I know mine does. Most of the time, love doesn't have anything to do with it. Men are just wired differently. On their list of necessities, sex is up there with oxygen.

What do you think about this strategy? Tell us in the community!

Obviously, not every athlete cheats when he's on the road, but "women are vultures," according to one of the stars of the show Lisa Wu Hartwell, who is married to NFL player Ed Hartwell. Lisa said that "even though they know he's married, these crazed fans will go after him even more. They're at the hotels waiting for them." But Lisa thinks that it comes down to trusting that your mate will do the right thing. "There are lot of women that I know that don't trust their mates and have caught them cheating," she says, "and it comes down to deciding whether you will tolerate that behavior or not." Lisa feels blessed for being married to someone who is so family-oriented and says she wouldn't stay married just because of their lifestyle. "You have to have your own identity," she says. "And I believe that women that are too dependent on their spouse will tolerate a lot of things."

Angela Wilder, ex-wife to famous Laker basketball star James Worthy, knows all too well what it's like to "tolerate" a cheating husband. After her husband was arrested for soliciting a prostitute, Angela tried to stay and save her marriage, which ultimately ended in divorce. In her book, "Powerful Mate Syndrome," she writes, "I enthroned [my husband] as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the king's subject." Well, in my mind, this makes total sense. Just look at Queen Katherine who was married to Henry the VIII. She knew damn well that he was having an affair, and madly in love with Anne Boleyn, but she fought until the day she died to stay married to Henry anyway. Um, can you say crown jewels??? Hello! (BTW, "The Tudors" on Showtime ... love! Cannot wait for season 3!)

The point is, while I don't condone cheating, I can totally understand why these crazy rich women are staying in marriages knowing that their husbands have been unfaithful. And honey, if you read this, while I know you'd love to be a professional baseball player, can I just say: I'm sooo happy you're not.

Watch the second episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," tonight at 9PM ET/PT on Bravo.



next: Cigarettes May Be More Damaging to Women
51 comments so far | Post a comment now
jennifer May 19, 2009, 10:32 AM

Your perspective is realistic and non-sentimental. I understand your point. But you are going to get FLAMED here. Be prepared!

mom-squared May 19, 2009, 10:32 AM

I agree with you. My health comes first. I love my husband and I trust my husband. But you know what, I love myself MORE. As someone who works with sex workers and HIV counseling, you would not believe the amount of men, married and single, who have unprotected sex with this high-risk population.

Miranda May 19, 2009, 10:52 AM

I agree with you, but hopefully that isn’t a real picture. You’re never supposed to pack condoms in wallets, because it ups their chance of breaking.
At least if hubby doesn’t make use of them, he can give them to his friends and team-mates so they can stay safe.

naila May 19, 2009, 12:27 PM

Sounds like a wise woman to me.

Pansy Moss May 19, 2009, 12:54 PM

Is the point of a marriage is simply utilitarian, and about “health”? Why are you giving the gift of yourself and your life to someone you out and out don’t trust and are giving license to cheat? How sad…

Mindy May 19, 2009, 12:57 PM

Wow Really?? I see where you are coming from but Hell no do I give my husband permission to cheat on me. Reality is what it is and I am not naive about the possibility but I also think its like giving them the secret ok to do so. I want him to KNOW its not ok with me.

Thanita May 19, 2009, 1:02 PM

This is sad. I feel sorry for you that you seriously believe it’s ok. I feel bad that don’t have a relationship that, for the very reason you got married is suppose to be monogamous. WTF you get married for then?

I am a realist but if I feel like I have to pack condoms for my hubby when he’s out of town, that’s when I leave town…for REAL. I am about ME too and no one else will look out for ME but ME. Therefore I would not stay with anyone that would damage ME emotionally or physically. So I think you’re going about it backwards.

Anonymous May 19, 2009, 1:03 PM

The fact that you are the most important person to you could be directly related to why your husband would want to sleep with someone else. Selfishness doesn’t build relationships up, it tears them down. And in my personal opinion if you really “don’t condone cheating” you wouldn’t make it more convienantfor him. It’s like packing beer for you teenager, and saying BUT I don’t condone drinking. Good luck.

amy May 19, 2009, 1:04 PM

The fact that you are the most important person to you could be directly related to why your husband would want to sleep with someone else. Selfishness doesn’t build relationships up, it tears them down. And in my personal opinion if you really “don’t condone cheating” you wouldn’t make it more convienantfor him. It’s like packing beer for you teenager, and saying BUT I don’t condone drinking. Good luck.

Mabyn May 19, 2009, 1:17 PM

I have to agree with Amy and Thanita but I would not have put it quite so delicately. After 30 years of marriage,
I personally can’t see a marriage lasting with this type of belief. Or, why would you want this marriage to last? If you expect that he is doing that, he is. This is the bed you have made for him and now there is more than one sleeping in it. Very sad. Hope you get it worked out. m

Wadopotato May 19, 2009, 1:21 PM

Sounds like someone is cheating on their husband while he is away. I think that packing condoms for your husband is a good way to have a clear conscience for somebody.

Pansy Moss May 19, 2009, 1:54 PM

I want him to KNOW its not ok with me.

Then instead of packing condoms, tell him “DO NOT CHEAT!”

I mean I certainly hope he never, ever cheats, but if he needed condoms, I hope he can obtain them himself without your providing them, kwim? I feel funny even saying that because again, in the end, we don’t want him to simply provide for your health by not bringing home diseases, nor simply provide for the peace of your household by not creating illegitimate children, but most of all, a husband should be providing for your happiness and emotional well-being more than anything else because he loves you and your joy should be his first priority. You deserve no less.

Marie (latin mami with horrible grammar) May 19, 2009, 3:58 PM

is just fell that you married a monkey inset a men. so far you description is someone who can’t no only control himself also is not available to buy his own condoms. Im not old fashion in any way, but this is just gross, I travel a lot for work and if my husband ever put condoms is my suitcase that would be the end of our marriage.

Anonymous May 19, 2009, 4:44 PM

NBA dudes get more cat than a veternarian, so what do these women who marry them expect? They want to be known as Mrs. So and So with all the money, so this is what they chose. They rich and they get to be famous, so if they have deal with they man getting some on the road, at least she dealin with it the right way.

Brenda

Lori May 19, 2009, 5:16 PM

NBA player+money=why this lady is willing to put up with a cheater

Shannon May 19, 2009, 5:56 PM

I love myself more than my man too, but not more than my baby boy!

MrsSmith May 19, 2009, 7:43 PM

I think you’re absolutely right in doing this. A lot of men cheat and there are too many risks you take when doing so. I would rather be safe than sorry.

Baby Name Helper May 19, 2009, 10:16 PM

Interesting piece - I’d have to wonder how the husband feels about that behaviour though, I know I’d certainly feel a bit “guilty before proven innocent”.

Gail Cooke May 20, 2009, 1:49 AM

I see your point as to why you give them to him, but I’m sorry you don’t feel that you can trust your husband. Especially if you think he’s sleeping with diseased women. Trust is the most essential thing in a relationship. Sounds like a real sucky marriage…I hope you do better.

Unbelievable May 20, 2009, 8:43 PM

It is sad that the world just accepts that men are “wired” differently. That is hogwash! Men and woman BOTH have the choice. If they can’t control themselves and their desires. Why give them any responsibility at all?

Keeping it in your pants when not with your wife should be the easiest decision in the world! Unzipping for anyone else is selfish and wrong! Women and Men should not put up with a cheating spouse. If you commit to someone..be that, COMMITTED! It’s not THAT hard. If you love her/him, be with them and only them. Regardless. If you don’t. Get out. End the relationship, BEFORE you go “poking” around / allowing others to “poke” around.


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