Natalia: "REALISM" is the word of the day. I have always secretly packed condoms in my husband's suitcase before he goes out of town. He's a professional athlete in the NBA, handsome, and completely normal. He says, "Sweetie, you don't need to do that," and I respond, "Just give them to the other players ... make sure they're safe." I understand that young guys (older ones too, LOL) can't always think clearly when their blood is racing from their brain to other places. I don't condone cheating and I make that very clear! Anyway, not having a condom isn't going to stop most men, they'll just have unprotected sex.
Of course, we married women want to believe that our husbands only have eyes for us. Don't get me wrong, your guy may be one in a ton of men that only sleeps with his wife. Congratulations, and continue to enjoy your happy monogamist life together.
Here's the bottom line: I'm the most important person to me! I'm trying to stay healthy. I may SOUND like one selfish bitch, but I'll tell you this ... if he brings something home that he didn't leave here with, I'll ACT like one crazy bitch! Sure, most men have good intentions and love their wives very much ... I know mine does. Most of the time, love doesn't have anything to do with it. Men are just wired differently. On their list of necessities, sex is up there with oxygen.
Obviously, not every athlete cheats when he's on the road, but "women are vultures," according to one of the stars of the show Lisa Wu Hartwell, who is married to NFL player Ed Hartwell. Lisa said that "even though they know he's married, these crazed fans will go after him even more. They're at the hotels waiting for them." But Lisa thinks that it comes down to trusting that your mate will do the right thing. "There are lot of women that I know that don't trust their mates and have caught them cheating," she says, "and it comes down to deciding whether you will tolerate that behavior or not." Lisa feels blessed for being married to someone who is so family-oriented and says she wouldn't stay married just because of their lifestyle. "You have to have your own identity," she says. "And I believe that women that are too dependent on their spouse will tolerate a lot of things."
Angela Wilder, ex-wife to famous Laker basketball star James Worthy, knows all too well what it's like to "tolerate" a cheating husband. After her husband was arrested for soliciting a prostitute, Angela tried to stay and save her marriage, which ultimately ended in divorce. In her book, "Powerful Mate Syndrome," she writes, "I enthroned [my husband] as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the king's subject." Well, in my mind, this makes total sense. Just look at Queen Katherine who was married to Henry the VIII. She knew damn well that he was having an affair, and madly in love with Anne Boleyn, but she fought until the day she died to stay married to Henry anyway. Um, can you say crown jewels??? Hello! (BTW, "The Tudors" on Showtime ... love! Cannot wait for season 3!)
The point is, while I don't condone cheating, I can totally understand why these crazy rich women are staying in marriages knowing that their husbands have been unfaithful. And honey, if you read this, while I know you'd love to be a professional baseball player, can I just say: I'm sooo happy you're not.
Watch the second episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," tonight at 9PM ET/PT on Bravo.