Re: "Your Family Photos Suck" -- guilty as charged. You nailed me. I have one of those framed, posed family pictures resting on my piano in my living room, proudly displayed for all to see. I even went so far as to make it our family holiday card that year. (I wanted to tell you that so I could make your veins pop just a little bit more.)

Not only that, you pegged me on the barefoot-in-white-shirt-ness. My face would be red ... if the photo wasn't in a lovely, stylized, black and white.

Yes, my whole family felt awkward posing in this unnatural state. And yes, we were all arguing just minutes before the shutter clicked. "How much is this costing?" "This shirt is uncomfortable!" "Don't comb my hair anymore!" And that was just my husband.

So, why did I go through with it? Why do I show it off? Because I need the world to know that my husband can take a picture without screwing up his face like a goofball. Because I need the world to know that my kids don't only resemble angels when they are asleep. And because I need the world to know that sweatpants and slippers are not the only wardrobe components I own!

I know I can't always be caught in candid shots like you: blithely flipping my hair as I recline on the lounge chair at the beach in Maui. Laughing as the cowboy hoists me onto my mount at the dude ranch my husband and I vacation at regularly (with the money we don't spend on our kids). My appealing moments need to be staged.

So, sneer all you want at my manufactured reality. It was a worthwhile therapy for me. Besides, most people who see that photo just say, "Nice picture. Who are they?"

Sincerely,

Bitch With Child (a.k.a. "Mom")