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10 Reasons Father Doesn't Know Best

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They try. Oh, how they try, but even on Father's Day, dads sometimes just don't get it.


Momlogic's Momstrosity: Back in the 60s, there was a show called Father Knows Best -- winner of the most ironic name for a sitcom in history. But I'm not here to slam dear old Dad. I think dads are GREAT. In fact, my daughter has one. He's also my husband.

In the role of Daddy, he always does an awesome job. Well, sometimes, um, every once in a while ... when I ask him ... nicely, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until I can't freakin' take it and end up doing it myself. But still.

Top 10 Reasons Father DOESN'T Know Best

1) Dresses the kids in flip-flops and shorts on a 45-degree day. (When the thermometer hits 100, he sends them out in fleece.)

2) Thinks "quality time" with his kid means watching "Jackass: The Movie" with his six-year-old son.

3) On the night of her first date, demands that daughter wear a turtleneck and a chastity belt. 

4) When left alone with the kids to make dinner, serves cinnamon rolls on paper towels as the main course.

5) Nearly gets in a head-on collision with another shopping cart when playing "race car with your toddler in the driver's seat."

6) Insists on wearing his "World's Best Dad" T-shirt, even when it's filthy.

7) Loves to toss the baby in the air like a sack of potatoes, often grazing the kid's head on the ceiling.

8) Trying to keep up with his teenage son, throws his back out playing HORSE.

9) Instead of giving the kids a bath, he hoses them down in the backyard.

10) Actually believes "father knows best."

next: Father's Day Beer Pairing
10 comments so far | Post a comment now
Matthew Owens June 21, 2009, 6:10 PM

Wow, I guess mommy knows it all… Is this author being facetious? Or is she serious? I hope she is kidding, cause I went ahead and laughed anyway.

Anonymous June 21, 2009, 7:21 PM

How rude. Completely disrespectful to men.

anonymous1 June 21, 2009, 8:15 PM

Fathers should be honored today. There a a lot of great, loving, and attentive fathers out there.

Anonymous June 22, 2009, 1:40 AM

lighten up guys..its true

Anonymous June 22, 2009, 7:58 PM

I think it’s funny. My husband is a great dad but he does feel that playing PS3 with our son for hours is quility time and while I feed the kids at the same time breakfast and lunch if it’s the weekend and I out running around, he will feed them only once they say they’re hungry. And yet I still think he’s a great dad.

JamericanSpice October 5, 2009, 6:54 PM

men huh. They are that way. no one made them that way. they just are. It’s frustrating!

menrdumb October 5, 2009, 10:36 PM

Durr, men are stupid, women are smart. Amirite? Stop perpetuating the myth that men are just a bunch of morons.

Anonymous October 6, 2009, 7:09 AM

11) Sucks at making sandwiches and giving BJs.

JK June 10, 2010, 10:35 AM

Not sure about most of these, but I am Guilty of number 5 from time to time. Then again it’s usually the toddler yelling ‘FASTER DADDY’ I figure if I follow that advice from Mommy I also need to follow it from the kids…

TechyDad June 10, 2010, 11:37 AM

What a load of garbage this is. I’m a dad and I happen to do the cooking and kid bathing in my house. Yes, I cook real meals and yes, I use a tub/soap/shampoo/etc. If the author is having these troubles with her husband, fine. Call him out on it. I’ll even support her and tell him to be a better team-player. But don’t condemn all dads as idiots who don’t know anything about parenting. We are parents also, not just “those guys who hang around the real parents, aka moms.”

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