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Girls are Boy Crazy ... or Just Crazy

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One mom is losing her mind over boy-obsessed girls.

Teenage girls standing near locker, looking at boy, smiling

Homeschool Mom: You would think it was 1969 and I had one of the Beatles living under my roof the way girls behave towards my son. I don't think it is because my son is some incredible Adonis either, although he is darling to me. I think girls are completely brainwashed into believing that their self-worth is tied to their ability to attract and bag boys.

Girls are a small blip on my son's radar right now, and one that is easily distracted by music, sports, and fun with his guy friends. In fact, he is homeschooled, so his ability to meet and greet with girls is severely curbed compared to most boys his age. But girls are interested in him. They get his number in clever ways and call the house giggling and carrying on like escapees from asylums in bad B movies. I have to tell them, "You may not speak to my son if you do not identify yourself respectfully and coherently to me, his mother." My husband, being the rational kind of guy he is, pointed out to me, "I wouldn't let some strange boy talk to my daughter, so why would I not protect my son the same way when a strange girl calls?" Exactly.

I have two girls and I have already told them, "If you act like gibbering goofballs around boys, they won't want to be your friends, and boys make great friends." They have plenty of good friends that are boys. They are victims, however, of the relentless pursuit of their brother. When girls try to enlist my ten year old, the pragmatist, she will say, "That's too bad he isn't allowed to like girls, yet." And he's not. Our rule is there will be no dating until the kid can drive and has a job; until then, he gets groups of friends with parental supervision.

I want my girls to concentrate on things that they love, like; dance, art, sports, and music. I would also like to teach them self-control, so if they are attracted to a young man, they can behave with the same level-headed, respectful behavior I expect from them in any situation. It is not cute to have girls out of control, embarrassing themselves and giving their sex a bad rep as goofballs. It is also not cute to allow young women to make unwanted phone calls to young men and to bother their families. I just wish more moms would pay attention to what their daughters were doing and take the stinking cell phones out of their hands. "Playing hard to get" may not be necessary, but at least "playing not desperate" would be nice.

Let's try to teach the young women of tomorrow that bagging the hottie is not the be-all/end-all of life. Having self-respect and dignity will do more for their future than a cute boyfriend.

next: Did I REALLY Make My Kid Say A**hole?
9 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mature boy June 4, 2009, 6:32 PM

First of all I think you are doing much good for your girls and boy.I could never get my parents to see that there are in fact odd girls out there (and THERE ARE ODD GIRLS;CREEPY ONES),just as there are many mean (sex driven) boys.So yes,my trophy of parenting to you.

Of late I’ve been more horrified of how Twilight fangirls behave.I wish MomLogic brings up a discussion on that.

I’ve also noticed that the word immature is a double standard,I think it’s time this word is used fairly.People go to great lengths to avoid calling girls immature and resort to other terms,as in the case of a bad behaving Twihard,”rabidfangirl” or in your case,”goofballs”,as if to skirt around the word immature.
The lack of using this term on girls is one reason I believe the current trend has gone down hill,people are too afraid to label a girl’s bad/poor behavior as simply immature.Immature is a very STRONG word and I know it is one reason it kept me in check.

Anonymous June 5, 2009, 4:10 PM

Hmmm…have you forgotten what it is like to be a teenager?

GMB June 9, 2009, 4:18 PM

Once again you are standing out as a beacon of common sense; thanks for the note of sanity. Unfortunately, the parents who allow this type of behavior by their daughters aren’t the ones reading this article.

A teenager June 15, 2009, 3:59 PM

I would just like to say that this is absolutely ridiculous, kids will be kids! That’s just how they grow up, let them make fools of themselves. It’s a tage, they grow out of it. I think you are way to overprotective, and that you might need a reality check. Look at what the media promotes girls to do. This is the day and age we live it, it’s not the parent’s fault, it’s society.

Meg June 16, 2009, 10:55 AM

I’m with you - it’s about self respect. You’re teaching your son to respect himself and encouraging him to seek out people in life who do the same.

As someone else mentioned, the Twilight fad has fueled a crazy that’s been around for a while. Teen girls are encouraged to throw themselves at boys - INVEST themselves in boys. It’s unhealthy and irresponsible. I don’t blame the author, b/c there are flaws in the books and I wouldn’t let a young teen read them, but an older teen can reason and enjoy them as purely entertainment. The problem is the way we encourage kids to have adult behaviors - not adult attitudes or emotions, which it is assumed will magically come to them later. Kids are more than happy to test boundaries - we have to make sure that the societal freedoms they enjoy match their ability to make decisions and be emotionally mature.

A certain amount of it is healthy - it’s a way for girls to start learning how to interact with boys in a ‘safe’ way. I.e. they may hope the boy will fall madly in love and they’ll be together forever, but he won’t and she may even be subconsciously depending on that. It’s similar to the crushes teen girls will have on an especially effeminate star - he’s not threatening sexually, so they can adore him and never be challenged in that adoration.

Xlusanob June 23, 2009, 11:34 PM

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John Drake June 28, 2009, 8:25 AM

I never cared much for girls who behaved that way. I really used to bother me that girls would flirt like that, instead of just trying to have a normal conversation with a guy. What bothers me the most about this topic is if guys were to do this sort of things to girls, all hell breaks loose, but nobody cares when girls do it to guys. Nice to see at least one parent in the world doesn’t endorse double standards.

The Honest Truth July 2, 2009, 8:04 PM

I agree with much of what you said and think that you’ve brought up some valid points, but you come across as sounding bitter and over-protective.

You can’t control these girls; they’re other’s children, not yours. All you can do is teach your son to use good judgment and common sense. You shouldn’t hover over him and try to have so much control over his life.

Although you sound like a very good and level-headed parent, some of your expectations are unrealistic. “Our rule is there will be no dating until the kid can drive and has a job; until then, he gets groups of friends with parental supervision.”
That one is just ridiculous. For teens today, dating is very casual and laid-back. Keep in mind that casual dating is not the same thing as casual sex. “Dating” could be considered seeing a movie with someone who he thinks is cute (each kid usually pays their own way, it’s not the guy’s job) and ending the evening with nothing more than a hug. For something as innocent, simple, and fun-loving as that, there’s no need for parental supervision especially since you’ll probably be dropping him off and picking him up.

Over-bearing parents often do more harm than good. Some of the boundaries you’ve set more your son sound like disasters waiting to happen. Strict rules result is shockingly extreme rebellion.

a teen March 14, 2011, 3:13 PM

….ur over protective….i hate parents like that..thats the reason me and my future wife had to break up…an we werent even having sex…just hanging out.

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