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Marijuana Mamas!

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Is pot the new pilates?

Gina Kaysen Fernandes: A new wave of reefer madness is sweeping suburbia -- but it's not just teenagers who are lighting up. Middle-aged, middle-class soccer moms are smoking pot ... a lot. These women aren't stoners: they're teachers, lawyers, and, perhaps, even your neighbor who prefers puffing a joint to sipping chardonnay.

woman smoking marijuana

"Marijuana is the magic in my life that helps me unwind, stay sane, and have more energy," says Sonia, a 24-year-old mother from Los Angeles. Working full-time as a restaurant manager leaves Sonia feeling stressed out and drained at the end of the day. She smokes once or twice daily to relax. "I have a stressful job, it's something that helps me wind down so I don't take out my frustration on my husband or my child."

Sonia became a mother at the age of 22 and suffered from some depression. She turned to marijuana to help curb the baby blues. A doctor later diagnosed Sonia with anxiety and wrote her a prescription for the herbal remedy. Sonia gets her stash from a medicinal marijuana clinic and takes comfort in knowing the pot she smokes is legal and high quality.

Mary is a 37-year-old, self-employed mother in Seattle who smokes pot several times a week. "It is relaxing, fun, and once in a while I self-medicate for cramps or headaches," said Mary. She says she prefers smoking to drinking beer because it's easier on the body and has fewer calories. Mary buys her bags from a dealer, making it more risky because "there's still a real danger of being arrested," says Mary.

The website,, surveyed hundreds of women nationwide between the ages of 25 and 60 years old. Out of that group, 52% admitted to using marijuana at least ten times a year. 27% smoked between one and seven times a week. And 78% of those women knew someone who got high on a regular basis.

The results of recent surveys are no surprise to Allen St. Pierre, executive director of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, or NORML. "These findings are indicative of women's willingness to admit to the social stigma that was so high in the 1970s and 80s," said St. Pierre.

Both women who shared their stories with momlogic say that many of their friends smoke weed. But while it seems "marijuana mamas" are everywhere, this silent majority prefers to stay in the shadows. "They think if they admit it, it makes them a bad mom," says Sonia, who believes the opposite is true. "It makes me a better mother. It clears my head and allows me to focus on my child." Mary says it's important to be a responsible smoker "by doing it mindfully, only when I have downtime."

Sonia has a 2-year-old and is a few years away from the dreaded drug talk. But she doesn't plan to hide her habit from her son. "I want to be honest, I don't want him to feel marijuana is an evil thing," said Sonia. Mary says she's very open about her drug use with her daughter, Sierra. "We talk about responsible use pretty often," says Mary. Both women say they never smoke in the house or in front of their children.

There's a lot of debate over how to talk to kids about using drugs without sounding like a hypocrite, especially if you're the one hitting the bong. Zero-tolerance proponents believe you must support abstinence only. But advocates say a more real-world approach is to discuss drug use in moderation. This method is detailed in a pamphlet called "Safety First: A Reality-Based Approach to Teens and Drugs," which is distributed by the California PTA.

This growing group of ganja smokers certainly has the attention of lawmakers. A renewed debate is heating up over legalizing (or at minimum, taxing the medicinal sales of) marijuana to cash in on this potential cash cow. According to NORML, marijuana remains the fourth largest cash crop in America, in spite of the estimated $10 billion that law enforcement spends annually to attempt to outlaw the plant. In California, marijuana is the number-one cash crop. Thirteen states have laws on the books that allow for medicinal use of marijuana. The most recent federal survey finds more than 100 million Americans have tried pot at some point, and more than 14 million used it in the past month. "I think a lot of moms are starting to loosen up," says Sonia.

Both of these moms support legalizing marijuana. "It will help our economy, help our state, and take away that stigma," said Sonia. Mary believes pot smoking should be about personal choice, not politics. "I'm an adult and I make life or death decisions every day. The drug war has killed lots of people; smoking pot hasn't killed anyone."

What do you think? Are these moms on the right track -- or are they whacked out on more than just weed?

Photos courtesy of Michael Johnson

next: Have Your Cake and Meat it Too
625 comments so far | Post a comment now
karmabottle June 29, 2009, 7:49 AM

You have got to be kidding me. What kind of f@$#”!! up mothers would do this on a regular basis?

I did it in college—pre-child—because like others I wanted to.

There is no place in a family for this kind of garbage. Sorry, but any substance you “need” to help you “relax” is code for HABIT.

Learn to relax with a book, music, yoga, television, a long walk, or a bath.

These moms are delusional.

smokeitup June 29, 2009, 7:50 AM

I have smoked marijuana for many, many years and for the very same reasons as are being listed here. Stress relief, relaxation and sometimes just for the enjoyment. I feel the government should keep out of our homes and let us manage our own lives as long as we are not commiting murders/crimes why should anyone judge what we as individuals do with our free/spare time?!?
I say legalize it completely and stop all the crime involved with the trafficing side of it. The government always tends to blow things out of proportion and then we pay for there idiocies through tax payer monies, which could be applied to much better ventures. Like for instance the homeless, creating jobs, cleaning up run down neighborhoods, community centers……..and the list goes on and on. But OUR government do something sensible. NOT likely, they don’t think logic they think greed and irresposibility with the use of our dollars.

Deborah June 29, 2009, 8:05 AM

While I know that some of you may be horrified to know this, my dad and his girlfriend actually condoned my use of marijuana when I was in high school. I was a straight-A student, and my grades never changed, before or after I was introduced to it. I wanted a job, and they placed the same restrictions on that as well, grouping everything into the ‘extracurricular’ category; with education being the priority. I left the habit behind for the most part in my adulthood, but have handled the issue similarly with my own kids. They are brilliant, conscientious, polite young people who would’nt dream of ever using other substances; and have seen the damage that alcohol abuse has done to people’s lives. I feel that the laws that stand against cannabis are too arcane and costly to enforce to remain in place. I’m glad to see dialogue about it, and there needs to be a lot more of it to put a fire under the legislator’s behinds to change it !

Sheri June 29, 2009, 8:18 AM

I am a cancer survivor and do not know what I would do without my “medicine” - refusing all prescription drugs due to severity in reactions and sideaffects. And the toll it takes on your inner organs is sometimes devastating. I believe I have lived longer than most who have lung cancer - simply because I partake of an natural herg that keeps nausea at a minimum and keeps the pain away. I am a worker and productive - only part time now that I am on disability but still very active even though I do the herb. Even before I had the cancer I was a part time smoker. As my children grew up I discussed my smoking with them and told them it was an adult choice like drinking was. When they reached the age of maturity they could decide for themselves. It has worked out well - they are 26 now. And show responsibility of choice. I believe it should be legal to have at least 1/2 ounce on you without harassment. And to grow at least 6 plants for personal use. Peace Sheri

Candace June 29, 2009, 8:18 AM

LOL - It’s not civil disobedience if you are hiding it.

Shauna June 29, 2009, 8:19 AM

Re: Chris

Get real, guy! While I agree that especially when you become a parent you should also become responsible, it doesn’t mean that you also become brain-dead. I can understand that you had a problem with drugs, but not everyone does. Just because you smoke weed, it doesn’t automatically mean that you do other, harder drugs. And if you are drinking alcohol-be it beer or whatever-you are already doing a harder drug than marijuana. The only difference is that it’s illegal. When’s the last time you heard of someone killing someone else because they were high on pot? Never, that’s when. You don’t do stupid stuff when you’re stoned-unless raiding the fridge is stupid. As far as raising your kids and talking about drugs, it’s kind of like talking about sex and drinking-both of which are legal. You are crazy if you think that telling them to abstain is going to work. They are going to do it no matter what-it’s better to tell them the truth-the good and the bad-and hope they do the right thing. The one man was right-it’s illegal for kids to drink, but they still get it. Those parents who think that their precious children would never do that are in LaLa Land. I can say that-I have raised 4 children, and trust me, between them they tried everything in the book.
Making pot legal would mean it was controlled-making it harder to get. Not impossible, of course, just harder. At least we would be making some tax dollars off of it. I don’t believe that it would save our economy or anything, but it definitely couldn’t hurt.
Marijuana should be legalized-and I don’t personally imbibe, but I did once upon a time, and I don’t have a problem with those that do. I would much rather be around someone who is stoned that someone who is drunk. Out of all of the people that I know, no less than 75% of them smoke pot. And they are law-abiding citizens with kids and careers otherwise.

anonymous June 29, 2009, 8:20 AM

My sister in law smokes pot and snorts cocaine on a regular basis. She started with pot every day, and it lead to the harder stuff. She is difficult to deal with and her kids can’t stand her. She is an embarrassment. she doesn’t even realize that two of them are spiraling down with drinking and drugging, because they do their best to stay away from her! The young ones are just brats and are embarrassed by her too. She thinks she is the most loving and caring person in the world, but she is selfish and stupid. Unfortunately, her children are the ones who are suffering. She is the butt of jokes from all her nephews and nieces, on both sides, yet she thinks they just love her! Even a few of her own family members can’t deal with her anymore and are out of her life. and you can’t tell her anything, she just yells at you and then stops talking to you because she doesn’t want to hear it. We all cringe at family parties when she walks in the door. Legalize it, I think not. for the sake of the children, you moms need to rethink your actions. Why don’t you ask some family members and people who are close to you what they think of you?

gtpnat June 29, 2009, 8:22 AM

wow. first of all marijuana is still illegal!!!! secondly it has been proven to kill braiin cells and alter you mind. i can’t believe how normal smoking weed has become in this country! and no it would not make someone a better mom to smoke a joint after she got home to deal with her child and husband, go work-out or get a hobby or meditate!

sam June 29, 2009, 8:31 AM

I smoke weed several times a day and I agree it should be legalized. I have never had an accident in my car while high, i have never made something similar to a “drunk-call” like while drinking or any of the other “Stupid” things they say weed makes you do. I see nothing wrong with smoking. I smoke before I go to work to help me deal with the people around me that get on my nerves and ill smoke after work to relax and then, as you other smokers know, ill smoke before sex…it always seems to make it even better.

Misty June 29, 2009, 8:35 AM

I too, am a “marijuana mama” lol. I have 3 children, and have smoked for over 10 years (not while pregnant though!) I never drink alcohol of any kind, and I use it for many of the same reasons the mother in the ad, Sonia, spoke of. For me, it indeed helps me to relax or “chill out” as my husband puts it, lol. I love my kids to death, and like the moms in the ad, I never smoke in the house, and NEVER in front of them. They are ALWAYS either asleep, or at daycare/school when I do it, but it really does mellow me out, and keeps me stress free, and better able to deal with the daily stresses that go along with life. Plus, I don’t even have to leave my neighborhood to get it, so little risk is involved. For me, it’s just a personal choice, but I look at it as a sort of “medicine” I’d rather take than pills for stress/anxiety that have ingredients that can potentially harm my body in the long run. A lot more than weed would do! :) Just my .02!

JMH June 29, 2009, 8:35 AM

I am not a smoker but know many who are. I also have a son who has smoked for a long time. Not a massive amount. In our state many people are driving without drivers liscenses becasue they have chosen to put pot in the same catagory of alcohol. I do not beleive that should be the case. My son has not had a liscence for 7 years now and he is 31. We have attempted to get it back 3 times, (after each time you have to wait another year) and have been denied every time. We have $2000 in legal fees. He holds down a job, got his high school diplma is an upstanding citizen and does not smoke it now out of fear, yet year after year we are told it is not enought and they refuse to give driving priviliages back. I have a real problem with this. All because he was caught with pot in his car. He has never hurt anyone like the thousands of drunk drivers who are still on the road. I beleive our sytems are very unfair. I would not support my son if he was doing something very wrong and I think in this case he is being overly punished along with us. All becasue of pot. He is being denied a life, no family etc. Too much money is wasted putting people in jail. Lets legalize and control it. Too many people in our state of MIchigan playing God with peoples lives and destroying them because of pot. Give me a break I think alcohol is much worst and it is legal.

Don June 29, 2009, 8:40 AM

I believe that it is all garbage. What kind of example are you setting for your children? Marijuana, beer, cigarettes, it is all poison. You know I miss the days when mothers fought for protecting their children. My wife is a fighter and not weak like these people.

Also, these mothers who say “oh we don’t smoke with or around our children” are full of it. They do it to relieve stress, so I guess when your children want your attention you sit there outside, in the car or in your bedroom and yell at your children when they come in because you care more about your weed than you do planting a flower of knowledge and love into your children.

I guess these mothers are too weak to say “hey you will not do that in my house.” I guarantee you that there is not a dad in the home or if there is then he is just as guilty. These same people are going to be asking them selves, “what happened to our children? Why did they turn out that way we never raised them that way?” Well dumb@$$ getting high with your kids is not really parenting know is it? Wake up, your children needs parents not friends. Parenting first, friends second, these women are probably so high that they for got how to count.

Vickie June 29, 2009, 8:42 AM

I have smoked pot since I was 14 and I am now 50. Hasn’t hurt me or any one else I know of. No one I know has went to harder drugs because of smoking pot. I do believe it should be legal & I also believe if it is done in moderation with use of common sense (I know some people who do not have this!) it is a great relaxer. It also helps when I cannot sleep. I wish it was legal then we know we would be getting good stuff not laced with anything we are not aware of. If people just use common sense it will all be good.

teacher June 29, 2009, 8:44 AM

I see it says teachers smoke—I hope they don’t get caught, because they could lose their teaching license. A big price to pay for a little buzz.

A supporter June 29, 2009, 8:47 AM

I think they are right. I too have children and work a 40 hr week and know how it is to come home and bring that stress with me. I step outside while the kids are having snack time and I too light up, everyday. I dont have a health care policy to provide me with xanax or any other nerve pill, so I do it the same way my mama did it. I nor my mother use hard core drugs. We just like to enjoy our pot. We dont drink either.

J.  June 29, 2009, 8:48 AM

Ever since my son was born, I get terrible headaches 2-4 times per week (my doctor feels they are hormone enduced migranes). At first I went to my doctor and was prescribed such strong, dangerous, addictive meds. The side effects were worse than the meds themselves (one of the side effects was sucidal thoughts-great one for a stay at home mom, huh??) Finally I tried pot, and though it doesn’t totally erase the pain it makes it managable. I use a very small amount a few times a day, mostly in the early AM and at night. I don’t drive when I use it. As of right now, I have been out for over a week. My headaches are so bad. I started using the prescribed drugs to help and they have done such damage to my stomach that now on top of being in pain, I can’t stop feeling sick to my stomach. And, to make matters worse, I have been in too much pain to really be any fun for my kids.
Pot is so harmless, and for people like me, it changes me from a pain-filled Mom to one that can care well for my kids.

Anonymous June 29, 2009, 8:49 AM

I also am a Marijuana Mama. I don’t smoke in the house or around my kids. It really does help me find the humor more in things, rather than getting upset at my kids and yelling. It also helps me not to stress out over little things. Plus, it’s something my husband and I like to do at night in the backyard after the kids go to bed. We’re not bar hoppers or partyers, we RARELY even drink alcohol anymore. It’s just something we enjoy doing together, just the two of us. We’ll sit long after the joint is out and talk for hours about anything and everything. I really believe that it has made our marriage stronger. However, I live in a place where it is still illegal, so I have to remain anonymous not only here, but in every other aspect of my life. Not everyone feels the same as I do.

mjmomma June 29, 2009, 9:00 AM

I hope one day, if not in our lifetime, then in our childrens lifetime, this will be legal, and a non-issue. it is so much safer than drinking, and could do so much for our economy. I smoke it, not around my child, and i do not drive while high. it helps me sleep. i was raised by college educated parents, with steady jobs, who smoked pot nightly, and who taught me to respect it. i never got into harder drugs. i am a atay at home mom, and my job is tough. i would rather smoke a joint at the end of a long day, then get drunk. legalize it!!

GN Atlanta June 29, 2009, 9:02 AM

Sorry…as long as it is still illegal, it sends the wrong, confusing message to children of these partents…especially if they find out and the mom tries to explain her actions. But, i’m all for legalizing pot for medical reasons only.

alry46 June 29, 2009, 9:03 AM

Pot should be legal. Alcohal is dealy !

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