Being alone for 24 hours made me realize how much I love my crazy life and the choices I've made.
Katie Wisdom Weinstein: Just when my home life is hitting the peak of chaos, I can take a business trip a mere three-hour-drive away and get enough done to feel accomplished and to acknowledge my existence outside of my mom/wife role.
I pack up, get in the car, and spread out all my CDs on the seat next to me. I turn on the Bluetooth and hit the road. Paradise! I start to daydream about what my life would have been like if I had made other choices (C'mon ladies, you have done this, too) -- married the high school sweetheart (I'd be broke, living in a truck with his dog and guitar), taken a job in the Caribbean on that boat (I'd be broke, living on a boat with a dog and my guitar), or even stayed single, taken an Executive Director job, and devoted my life to work (I'd be living in a lonely condo, with my dog, listening to guitar music on my veranda). I make a couple of much-needed annual phone calls (my college roommate), monthly phone calls (my mother), and the usual weekly ones. One hour in: I am bored.
By the time I get to my quiet hotel room, I am ready to pretend I have no cares in the world. I have the remote control to myself. I change channels as often as I want, and watch all the chick flicks available. I cry, I laugh, and I fall in love with TV again. I read late into the night, no interruptions or kids knocking my book over and losing my place. I relish sleeping across the whole bed -- no sweaty little bodies creeping in at midnight, no one snoring (maybe me, but who would know?). I wake up and do TV yoga! I have a quiet, leisurely shower, getting only myself dressed (no one yells for socks or where the dirty jeans they have worn for the last 2 weeks are). Sixteen hours in: I am restless and this is too quiet.
I work hard; I have no cell reception, so I focus. Wow, I can get a lot done. I call home and there is the usual chaos -- oh, sounds kind of good. I head back to my room, feeling like a woman of independent means. I watch TV, I hate the TV yoga lady, I make tea, I take a walk. This should be bliss. Twenty-four hours in: I am done. Ready for more. Get me home. I miss my circus and I want the loud, demanding, dramatic sounds of my life back!
It was a business trip filled with a fantasy of another life. Whatever. It sucked and I love my crazy life and the choices I made.
|Katie Wisdom Weinstein is a professional modern momma. She lives in Portland, Oregon in a 100 year old house with her husband, Jess, and her two children Ruby, age 10 and Skylar, age 12. Cooking, camping, negotiating with pre-teens and allowing a zoo of animals in her house are her pastimes.|