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Moms Get Real about Spanking

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There's tons of controversy surrounding Kate Gosselin allegedly spanking daughter Leah. In this installment of momlogic uncensored, moms talk about spanking. Do they or don't they?

mom discuss spanking play video

Do you think spanking equals good parenting ... or is it borderline child abuse? Comment below.


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37 comments so far | Post a comment now
lacollinson June 23, 2009, 8:31 AM

Honestly, I was spanked very occasionally as a child with no lasting scars. My parents never did it with the idea that they would hurt us, it was more to get our attention when nothing else worked. I personally don’t spank my children. I really don’t believe it accomplishes anything. I think if you model violent behavior, your kids will return the favor. Just as with yelling (which I have certainly resorted to) it’s not effective. It gives the kids the idea that you have lost control of the situation, and control is the best tool a parent has.


Lilly June 23, 2009, 10:27 AM

First of all call a spade a spade, Kate Gosselin hit Leah, spanking is a word parents made up who hit their children to make the parents feel better. Who ever learned a positive lesson from being hit? I have never hit my son, and he is a great kid. He is kind, polite, funny, loving boy who at times has his moments. When these moments occur he is disciplined, either by having privileges taken away, writing lines regarding the behavior or going to bed early. I don’t think taking away hitting children is the problem, I think the problem is that parents aren’t replacing hitting with something else. Yes children need discipline hitting is not discipline its a quick fix for a parents frustration.

Emily June 25, 2009, 2:13 AM

I think Kate spanking Leah is none of anyone else’s business but her own. She is a mother of 8 children doing what she knows best to provide discipline to her children when needed. Someone posted that all she had to do was take the whistle away which, while that could have fixed the whistle situation, it wouldn’t have fixed the problem of Leah deliberately disobeying and doing the opposite of what she was told. I was spanked as a young child and definitely knew what was right and what was wrong. If I didn’t have that foundation as a small child, I wouldn’t have cared what my parents thought as I got older. I spanked my children while they were young and I don’t know the last time my 8 year old was spanked because since he was about 2 years old he has known for sure what he can and can’t get away with. Start young with disciplining or you’ll have spoiled children. I don’t know why America in general thinks that children should have more rights than anyone else because all it has done has made children REALIZE (not think as I saw my neighbor’s 10 year old call the police on his step dad for a spanking and watched him be investigated and potentially hurt his military career because his stepson didn’t want to be disciplined for being outright belligerent to his parent) they can get away with anything. My parents told me the couple times I told them I’d report them for child abuse after a spanking that I should “Go for it.” They were all about me seeing how hanging out at a police station and going into foster care was definitely a worse situation than a swat on the butt. And I’ll tell my children the same thing. I love my children but if it takes having them taken away because they do something like report me for abuse because of a spanking, it’s definitely a way to learn. My children will grow up in reality not in some therapists or other person’s version of how a child should be raised. For all those studies about the how spankings are hard on the kids emotionally, where are all the corresponding studies on the moms that can’t take the children consistently disobeying because of the lack of discipline? No wonder you now hear about parents who are drowning children or worse. Parents aren’t allowed to discipline effectively, but only how the government sees fit and God forbid, we hurt a child’s feelings or their ego. Spanking done properly is not abuse. KUDOS TO KATE!

Emily June 25, 2009, 2:28 AM

Continued from last post….
No wonder you hear about the parents who lose control of their children and do physical harm to them. They probably feel at a loss when it comes to dealing with their children. There is so little we as parents are allowed to do for discipline other than talk to our children kindly because it’s emotionally harming if we raise our voices, take away their toys or things, or put them on a timeout mat or chair (which I’m telling you doesn’t work at all for my children). It may work for some and yes, I’ve tried that with other people’s children and it has been successful. It depends on the child, but it also depends on the person dishing out the consequence. It is the end of the world for a child if another adult other than the parent sees them act up and disciplines the child. Something that may work for that adult may not work for the parent as the child acts completely different for the parent. I say, spanking with an open hand, enough to get the child’s attention and to realize you mean business, but not leaving a mark is not abuse. California law agrees! Kudos to Kate!

Anonymous June 28, 2009, 7:47 PM

Today society is way beyond hitting our kids. I was spanked as a young child, but I have never spanked my own children. People have to realise that adults strike out do to anger issues. With Kate going through her divorce she is having more and more angry issues with Jon. We all need to watch this very closely so the children will not be hit because she can not handle her own stress. During her time in the last five years the kids were not disciplined in this kind of manner. Why now? This is the time she will want to move on with her life like Jon will do. I know of very few if not no man who will be accepting of eight kids to help raise. Good Luck Kate……..Ha Ha

Lola June 29, 2009, 5:47 PM

I will never understand why people think it’s ok to hit a little child. If I smacked my neighbor or coworker or any grown up I’d be arrested! So why is it ok to hit your child? What does that teach them that telling them no doesn’t? Spanking just means you are too lazy to control the situation or too uncreative to deal with it. And btw I have 2 small children- and one on the way- who are extremely well behaved at home and in public. They also have never hit or hurt other children like many of they’re spanked friends do. Even my four year old gets it when she asks all puzzled, “Why would a Mommy hit her child? It’s wrong to hit people or things.”

Anonymous May 16, 2010, 10:18 PM

True some kids are wild, and are out of control. But the truth is? So are the adults. Some of these adults need a good spanking of their own. But you don’t see a 30 year old male, spanking a mother in the local wal-mart. Why? Because it just isn’t right. So don’t be hitting your child in the wal-mart either. Then again, some people 87% should just not have kids at all. They like the idea of kids, or making them, but in reality most people just have no clue what the hell they are doing in the first place.

Allie May 19, 2010, 6:29 PM

I love how adults always blame this generation of teens-children for the world’s problems/”bad society” when:

1.) Adults declare wars and attack other nations
2.) Adults (mostly born in the 60s or earlier, when spanking was the norm) are the ones responsible for murders, rape, and other horrific crimes (children who commit these crimes are statistically in the minority
3.) Societal norms are dictated by those in power to make decisions i.e. adults
4.) Sweden, where spanking is outlawed has lower crime rates than the rest of the world.

My main point: Children are not as they are because parents refuse to spank. It’s simply adapting to the culture to what the adults laid out before us.

Caroline July 12, 2010, 10:31 PM

I have three children and one time or another I have spanked each of them. I do not employ spanking as the only punishment for disobedience, misbehaving or being rude or just plain being completely out of control. I often send them to their rooms, wash their mouths out with soap, etc. There are times however when a spanking is most defintely in order. I DO NOT BEAT them, I spank them and there’s a BIG difference. I speak to them first and explain why I’m spanking them and them give them a bottom warming. All the kids are just fine and have become respectful and well behaved. So my answer is NO - I do not consider spanking “child abuse:

Anonymous July 18, 2010, 8:24 AM

spare the rod spoil the child. spanking was always done. I have 6 kids ages 2 - 16. they all get the paddle to their bare bottoms (Tush) when needed. First I lecture & scold and explain what they did wrong then ……..Pants down , Bottom Up . once they’re over my knees , only then do I pull down their briefs just below the Tush. usually 4 to 5 swats is enough to get genuine tears . then they have to apologize. now, my teenage boys don’t get it that often , but when its called for . I lead them to the desk in the study .Pants & undies go down then they have to bend all the way over the desk. they get swats according they’re age (my 16 yr. old got 16 swats just last week) . then I hug & kiss. I tell them how much I love them & how much I mean for their good !

mary July 22, 2010, 7:16 AM

even my hubby got a spanking from me when needed ! and YES ! with his pants down !

markeisha clark September 14, 2010, 7:01 PM

weel i feel since i am a chlid children shouldn’t get whoopins cause all they say is that they want do it again and do it any ways after you beat them vause i am the same way cause i hate whoopins but it is not bad but it realie is and also if you want to beat them don’t beat hit them

bob October 2, 2010, 10:53 AM

on june 18,09 a woman named monica wrote how she spanked her 2 year old friends son with permission from the friend. She is leaving herself open to charges of assault and her friend could possibly lose custody because CPS is already watching her on account of an incident involving her daughter. The woman should keep her hands to herself and the mother must realize she is the one responsible for her sons safety and she cannot pass off discipline to another person without being held responsible for the ensuing result. A good rule is to never lay hands on someone elses child.

Hello Kitty Room Creating Game December 30, 2010, 3:33 PM

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Ten Tees January 9, 2011, 11:39 AM

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michael January 24, 2011, 6:27 AM

look,I grew up being spanked alot for stuff I did.I’m fine.An ex-marine and electrician.I see no bad in spanking.I am quick to paddle and woman, wife or girlfriend ,for doing something that they know is wrong.That’s life.C.P.S. doesn’t protect your kids.I was abused in the foster home they put me in.Here’s an idea,mind your own business and let the parents decide.I turned out fine and I even have tons of moral fiber and go to church atleast once in a while.without discipline our kids can’t possibly have any morals.

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