Sharon from Baltimore writes:
I got engaged last week. Tom finally gave me a ring and it was the happiest day of my life ... or it should have been the happiest day of my life. The first call I made after I said "Yes" was to Judy, my best friend of fifteen years. Her reaction was "less than thrilled," and when I asked her why she did not sound excited, she said, "Tom is so not right for you and if I do not tell you now I won't be able to live with myself." I was speechless. Judy is supposed to be the one I ask to be my Maid of Honor. Instead, I feel like I may be gaining a husband and losing a best friend at the same time. What do you think?
Leslie Adler: Dear Sharon, Congratulations on your engagement. This is an exciting time and your friend should revel in your joy, but before you "write her off," I think you have to ask yourself a few tough questions. What is motivating Judy? Is she jealous or bitter? Or does she really have concerns about you marrying Tom? If you believe that she has your best interests at heart, then you should hear Judy's concerns in a calm conversation. If she is off base, then convince Judy that you know Tom better than she does and that she need not worry about you. You may be able to ask her to be your Maid of Honor after all.
Has your friend ever tried to sabotage your relationship with a guy? Or has a friend ever given you a valid warning about your relationship with a guy? Share your thoughts....
|Leslie Adler mother, lawyer and creator of the Vuv Club shares her witty thoughts on the many roles women play in their everyday lives. Leslie also combines her legal skills and friendship experience as presiding judge of Momlogic's "The Friendship Court."|