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Only 2 More Shopping Days 'Til Father's Day!

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Paul Starke: If you're having trouble finding that perfect Father's Day gift, don't despair -- here's a list of 12! And I'm pretty sure Father's Day is now like Christmas. It's 12 days long now, right? Here are the 12 things I want for Father's Day ...

Man looking at his watch

1. People to adopt our cat. She just peed in the Pack 'n Play, now making it a Pack 'n Pee. I'm done.

2. Yankee tickets behind home plate ... Although I'll probably need to start a Ponzi scheme to afford them.

3. PlayStation 4. It hasn't been invented yet, but I want one anyway.

4. "Mad Men" on BluRay. Every dude I know loves this show and wants to be Don Draper, a chain-smoking, philandering alcoholic. I've got two of those things nailed down ...

5. Sirius or XM radio. Whatever it is now, it's the only gadgety thing I don't have.

6. Weekend in Vegas. I need to play some blackjack. Luke's college fund needs to come from somewhere ...

7. Kick-ass massage chair. I always see them advertised in SkyMall and am tempted to buy one, probably because I'm in a middle seat in coach.

8. The new John Mayer CD. Ha! No, this is from my April Fool's list.

9. Golf lessons. My handicap is a 42; my other handicap is that I suck at golf.

10. A gift card to Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I liked their burgers before the Obamas did.

11. Several cases of Cranberry-Apple Vitamin Water. Have you tried this stuff? It's like crack, only fruitier and not deadly.

12. To be woken up by my wife and son. And then they leave so I can sleep for a few more hours.

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