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Please Fire Me

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This mom REALLY needs a break.

woman pulling her hair and kids jumping in the couch

Katie Wisdom Weinstein: Memorial Day was no vacation for our family. It started off well and fizzled out all together. At first, we painted a delightful family-of-four picture. Getting away to the mountains, sharing games, BBQing, and of course, in my family, skateboarding. Within a day, my son took a digger on the skate ramp and broke his wrist. You would have thought his arm fell off. Unable to tie his shoes, use a pencil, or bathe -- I think he died and went to heaven. I think he has been waiting to be served like this for some time.

Unfortunately for Prince Farouk, he was usurped by my husband, King Farouk, who went in for a fairly routine surgery right after this event, but it turned into a major catastrophe when, not long after he got home, he thought it would be okay to carry a 150-pound go-kart up from the basement. What a disaster! A second surgery, pain meds, and bed rest were on the agenda ... for the next 2 weeks.

Ruby (my 11-year-old daughter) and I are doing a lot of eye rolling this week. The men in our family are broken and they are going to do everything in their power to make sure we remember this every minute of the day. I was hoping to regale them with stories of a heroic nature, of people who have overcome odds unimaginable, to do things for themselves and be proud of it. Fat chance. This is my so-called life.

As a modern working mother, I would like to now request being fired from several of the following jobs: Nurse, Bus Driver, Coffee Maker, Cheerleader, Dishwasher, Short-Order Cook, Recycler, Laundress, Dog Walker, Walking Complaint Box, Family Risk Management Specialist, and Shoe Tie Expert. I want my regular old chaotic life back like it was before Memorial Day. Next year, we will stay home and play Scrabble.

next: Will I Survive Giving Up Wine for a Month? NO!
1 comments so far | Post a comment now
Nikki June 9, 2009, 10:09 AM


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