Leave Your Infant Alone? WTF!

Leave Your Infant Alone? WTF!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

filed under: family

There are sooo many different philosophies of parenting. This one tells parents they need to keep their "hands off," even when dealing with an infant. Huh?

Guest Blogger Mommy2B: Pregnant and researching many options of childcare, I came upon RIE, Resources for Infant Educaters, which was born out of a desire to treat infants with respect in order to help children grow up to be independent people with a strong sense of self. When momIogic talked to an RIE representative, we wondered if some of their philosophies aren't a bit extreme. What do you think?

RIE says: Explain your actions: Demonstrate your respect for your child by letting him know what you are going to do to him before you do it. For example, "I am going to pick you up now and take you to the changing table so I can change your diaper."

Mommy2B: Telling a newborn you're about to change their diaper? Really?

RIE says: Allow your child to work through frustration. It is instinctual for most parents to try to solve their babies' problems and calm them the minute they start crying. Sometimes, however, this is a missed opportunity for the child to work through something and even develop a skill.

Mommy2B: We're guessing this is not when they are a newborn. When they cry it's because they're either hungry, have gas, or have a dirty diaper. Nothin' to figure out there!

RIE says: Reflect your observations. If your child falls down and starts to cry, instead of telling him he is fine, try reflecting back to him what happened. "You fell and really scared yourself."

Mommy2B: Maybe they'll answer us back, too: "Really? No s***, Ma!"

RIE says: Really observe your child. Don't make assumptions about who your child is. Try hanging back and observing him with an open mind. Look for clues about who he is and what his needs are. The RIE motto is "Observe more, do less."

Mommy2B: Kinda makes sense.

RIE says: Don't interrupt. When your baby is babbling, allow her the room to speak. This shows that you value what she has to say. When she is playing, give her the opportunity to finish what she is doing, which can help her to develop a longer attention span.

Mommy2B: Yes, allow her to babble, even though she won't be talking or know what she's saying for at least a year!

RIE says: Passive toys make for active infants. RIE educators believe that simpler toys encourage children to use imagination and resources to play. They discourage battery-operated toys and believe that those types of toys encourage a child to sit back and be entertained by the toy, as opposed to being an active participant.

Mommy2B: But what about on a three-hour car ride?

RIE says: Allow your child to initiate. Trust your infant's competence by giving her the room to initiate interaction or play. Instead of trying to teach your child to hit a drum, give him a few toys to play with and see which one he chooses to play with. This gives your child the opportunity to show you what he is interested in and initiate the play he wants to do.

Mommy2B: Are you going to give them five options for dinner, too?

What do you think of the RIE philosophy?

6 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

I think RIE has some valid points just like any parenting style. I think there points on toys is fantastic, we actually have done this. Our children have never played video games or had electronic toys and I see that there imagination and ability to teach themselves and entertain themselves is much better than other children there age. But again, almost all parenting styles have some valid points so take what you like and leave the rest.

- Kristen

Posted 06/02/09 07:29 AM

As a mother of three (19, 17 and 12), the only part of this I agree with is the philosophy on toys. You spend a hundred dollars on a toy and the kid will always choose the box and the wrapping paper. Simpler toys are ALWAYS better.

- Erica B.

Posted 06/02/09 03:00 PM

I think they have some very valid points. As a Montessori teacher with young toddlers, this philosophy seems very respect based to me. I don’t see the connection with the photo. I’ve never encountered the RIE philosophy before so maybe I’m missing something. Following respect for the child promotes the development of the child’s own positive self-talk and provides a basis for adult interactions.

- Laila

Posted 06/02/09 09:53 PM

I agree with all of these points. It really does set up your children and yourself for the future on how to interact with your children. For instance when you are telling them you are changing their diaper, this is how they learn how to talk, by having you speak to them. And when you are saying, You got scared” you are naming the emotion.

- Ana

Posted 06/03/09 12:00 AM

Some of them make sense and are relatively reasonable. Some of this stuff can be put to good use.

- Monica

Posted 06/03/09 02:53 AM

In defense of battery operated toys, I grew up as a 90’s kid which included many battery operated toys at home and I was literally one of the two most imaginative minds in my 3rd grade class. Only me and another kid wrote a very creative story for author’s day. The other 28 kids wrote about basketball and Michael Jordan/Shaq. I don’t recommend computers though for kids. I got my first computer very late in life and there went part of my imagination with it..

- Coin Operated Machine

Posted 06/08/09 12:48 PM