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Spanking is Child Abuse!

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If you ask me, there is NEVER an excuse for hitting a child. And in my opinion, if you do, you should be arrested for child abuse and have your children taken away from you.

woman in jail

Radical Mommy: There is no doubt that spanking is a controversial topic. Do you do it? If you do, when do you do it? How do you do it? And how often?

Well, in my opinion, hitting a child is no different than your husband hitting you, and there is no excuse for it -- no matter how "bad" your child is.

So many people use the excuse, "Nothing else works. Spanking is the only thing that gets through to him/her." That's bullsh**. Spanking is just an excuse for taking your anger, frustration, and poor parenting skills out on your child.

People often spank because their child continues to do something that they deem annoying, dangerous, or defiant. Isn't that what being a kid is about? I mean really, how annoying can a child be that would warrant beating them with your hand, a belt, or a paddle -- whatever your weapon of choice might be? And yes, your hand is a weapon when it's inflicting pain on another person.

Have you ever considered that your child allegedly "responds" to the spanking because you are finally paying attention to him? After all, how does a kid get to be so annoying? You allowed him to become that way instead of nipping it in the bud when he was younger.

The fact is that if a man hit you because he was annoyed with you, frustrated with you, or thought you were doing something stupid or dangerous, he would be arrested and charged with abuse. Why then is it OK to hit a poor, defenseless child who has no choice about who his parents are? Unlike you, who chose to be with the man you are with.

Spanking is a cop out. It's a way to avoid parenting children and it's a way to take out aggression. It's also ABUSE.

So people, next time you get the urge to "spank" your kids, go find a puppy or a kitten and smack them around -- I'm sure they deserve it too!


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134 comments so far | Post a comment now
Amy June 19, 2009, 7:52 AM

Radical Mommy uses emotional abuse instead…taking away what her child loves at the time—

Punishment is punishment. If you use spanking in the correct way, it can be a very valid form of discipline. It is quick, to the point, and then you move on.

FYI—you need to remember that we are talking about discipline for children, not abuse of a spouse/animal. BIG difference.

Amy June 19, 2009, 7:54 AM

Question for Radical Mommy—

I saw a child hitting his mother at Walt Disney World, over and over and over…you get the point. My children were looking in shock—

should he be thrown in jail?

Amy June 19, 2009, 8:06 AM

One more question—

What about those who emotionally abuse their children? Just because you might not spank, could you be using forms of discipline that hurt a child’s emotional state? Then what? You can go on and on about this—bottom line, at what point do you feel a parent deserves to raise their child? What methods of discipline DO you approve? What makes those methods better? Please explain so that we can understand your rationale for suggesting a child be removed from his/her home.

Cassandra June 19, 2009, 10:38 AM

This makes me so mad! Spanking is not abuse! I have two boys and I have spanked them when I felt it was needed and they are good, well-behaved, well-adjusted, happy children. They know that they are loved and they can always come to us, and that there are consequences to their action. Get off your damn soapbox woman! I am glad your techniques worked for you but mine work for me and to say that I deserve to have my children taken away makes me irate!!!

Michelle June 19, 2009, 11:40 AM

Radical Mommy:

Amen.

Notice how defensive people who hit their children get when you point out how wrong it is. When people get defensive, they know they’re doing something wrong.


Anonymous June 19, 2009, 11:41 AM

i was spanked growing up and i am not nor was i ever mad about it.. and now i have children of my own and they both get a spanking but ONLY when its needed.. and as many have said, there is a difference between spanking and “abusing”. children need some discipline.

Shell June 19, 2009, 11:42 AM

Abusers, imagine this: A stranger spanks your child for whining in public. Do you thank him? Or do you become furious? What the stranger has done is no different than what you do when you spank your child. In fact, it’s less offensive, because you’re supposed to love your child more than anyone else could love him. When you hit your child you are doing something that would absolutely infuriate you if someone else did it; yet, you think it’s alright for you to do it.

DJ June 19, 2009, 11:58 AM

This is speaking from a stand point of being spanked when I was little and seeing other kids who didn’t get spanked at all. Congrats to those parents, the many few that there are, who don’t spank their kids and they behave. But almost all of the kids that I see that don’t listen to their parents, and I have seen alot through working with children and in various daycares, that these children are the ones who DO NOT get spankings! I also belive that we have a problem in our society due to alot of kids not being shown discipline and not being taught how to act properly in public and towards adults. I do belive a child is just that, a child. And as a parent your goal is to raise a productive child in society, and that means discpline. This shows the child that life is not all about get, get, get, but what you give is what you get. I do belive in spanking, but not just spanking. I belive that you also need to explain why they are getting the spanking and then they need a time out according to their age. Everywhere I go, and everyone who has watched my children say they are well manored and respectful, and I would not have it any other way.

wadopotato June 19, 2009, 1:01 PM

I was driving through the crosswalk of Walmart the other day, and I saw a very young child just bolt from his mothers side into the crosswalk. he had gotten no more than 3-4 steps away from her until she grabbed his hand and (almost instinctivly) gave him a stern spank. Now I am guessing that she did that, not with the intention of hurting the kid, but as a warning to never run into traffic like that. The spank seemed so instinctive of the mother. She then continued to the crosswalk explaining why the kid had been spanked. Now is this so wrong?

Amy June 19, 2009, 1:04 PM

Michelle—

People get mad and defensive when ignorant people say that those who choose a certain form of discipline should have their child taken from them.

QUESTION:
Should people that have an abortion be put in jail? Just food for thought.

MarieJo June 19, 2009, 1:35 PM

Okay so I’ve been reading what everyone has been saying on here and I have to say it never ceases to amaze me how angry people get. There are so many angry people that seem to just be waiting for a chance to yell at and attack someone else (in this case verbally.). Radical Mommy is stating her opinion- she sees what other people do and doesn’t like it, that is her right, and she even has the right to say it. Everyone else here has gotten up on their own personal soap box to “yell” at her, and to defend their opinion. I guess I don’t understand why so many people would want to deny someone else the right to freely say what they want to say, while so fiercely clinging to their own right to say whatever; even to the point of verbally attacking them. Freedom of speech doesn’t mean others have to listen to you, so if you don’t like what she has to say just ignore her.
Now as to the whole spanking issue- my parents spanked me growing up-pretty much every time that they did spank me it was when they had lost their patience with me. I wouldn’t say that my parents were evil or horrible, in fact they were great parents, though I think they could have handled things better. Still I grew up to be a pretty descent person. I disagree with spanking, but I’m not going to “attack” someone else because they choose to do so. All in all I think spanking sends our kids a contradicting message. - we tell them not to hit others, but we hit them. We try to teach them to control their behavior, to be polite, yet hitting shows a lack of control, and isn’t polite. We teach them that violence is the way to get a point across-that if someone does something wrong, then it’s okay to hit. I mean even if you don’t consider spanking abuse, to a child hitting is hitting, whether it’s on the behind or on the face, arm, wherever; so it’s important to be careful what message you’re sending your kids. I remember this one time when I was about 7 or 8, I was at my church and this parent brought their child out, because he had hit a sibling or friend. This parent took the child and threw him over his knee and while spanking his child he said,”We..do..not..hit..the..people..
we..love!” Think about the mixed message that kid was getting!
Anyway I will not say that parents should go to jail, or have their kids taken away from them for spanking them. I do believe there is a better way of disciplining children, a way that won’t send mixed signals. But I will also say that parents typically are doing their best with what they know, they aren’t trying to hurt their kids.
And with some people saying that spanking is abuse and others saying it’s not I decided to look up abuse on dictionary.com to see an exact definition. So here are some different definitions they had listed- take from it what you will.
Abuse
A*buse”\, n. [F. abus, L. abusus, fr. abuti. See Abuse, v. t.]

1. Improper treatment or use; application to a wrong or bad purpose; misuse; as, an abuse of our natural powers; an abuse of civil rights, or of privileges or advantages; an abuse of language.

Liberty may be endangered by the abuses of liberty, as well as by the abuses of power. —Madison.

2. Physical ill treatment; injury. “Rejoice … at the abuse of Falstaff.” —Shak.

3. A corrupt practice or custom; offense; crime; fault; as, the abuses in the civil service.

Abuse after disappeared without a struggle.. —Macaulay.

4. Vituperative words; coarse, insulting speech; abusive language; virulent condemnation; reviling.
Main Entry: 1 abuse
Pronunciation: &-‘byüz
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Forms: abused; abus·ing
1 : to put to a use other than the one intended: as a : to put to a bad or unfair use b : to put to improper or excessive use
2 a : to inflict physical or emotional mistreatment or injury on (as one’s child) purposely or through negligence or neglect and often on a regular basis b : to engage in sexual activity with (a child under an age specified by statute)
3 : to attack harshly with words —abus·er noun

MarieJo June 19, 2009, 1:44 PM

threw him over his knee and while spanking him said,”We..do..
not..hit..the..people..we..love!” Think about the mixed message that kid was getting!
Even though I disagree with spanking I believe that most parents are simply doing the best that they can, with each situation they are in. Typically parents don’t want to hurt their children, they love them, and are just trying to teach them.

David June 19, 2009, 2:16 PM

I am not a parent, nor will I be for quite a while since I’m 17, so obviously (Michelle) I am not getting defensive because my wrongdoing is being revealed. I do believe this is completely the choice of the parents in how they discipline their children. I was spanked as a child and it really helped me become a well-behaved and well-mannered kid later on. Whichever way you choose to discipline your kids, emotionally or physically, there will always be someone out there like Radical Mommy who sees it as abuse.

Radical Mommy— you have a right to this OPINION but trying to force other people to take it as a fact is completely ignorant.

What would you do if I told you that letting your kids go to school is abuse? Other kids at school will likely end up treating your child worse than any discipline you have ever given to him or her and you are letting it happen by allowing them to go to school.

This is obviously just an opinion like yours Radical Mommy and posting it on the internet like this does nothing but cause arguments.

Bottom Line: It is the PARENTS CHOICE of how they discipline their own children.

I say if you make the kid you can spank the kid.

David June 19, 2009, 2:17 PM

I am not a parent, nor will I be for quite a while since I’m 17, so obviously (Michelle) I am not getting defensive because my wrongdoing is being revealed. I do believe this is completely the choice of the parents in how they discipline their children. I was spanked as a child and it really helped me become a well-behaved and well-mannered kid later on. Whichever way you choose to discipline your kids, emotionally or physically, there will always be someone out there like Radical Mommy who sees it as abuse.

Radical Mommy— you have a right to this OPINION but trying to force other people to take it as a fact is completely ignorant.

What would you do if I told you that letting your kids go to school is abuse? Other kids at school will likely end up treating your child worse than any discipline you have ever given to him or her and you are letting it happen by allowing them to go to school.

This is obviously just an opinion like yours Radical Mommy and posting it on the internet like this does nothing but cause arguments.

Bottom Line: It is the PARENTS CHOICE of how they discipline their own children.

I say if you make the kid you can spank the kid.

David June 19, 2009, 2:19 PM

I am not a parent, nor will I be for quite a while since I’m 17, so obviously (Michelle) I am not getting defensive because my wrongdoing is being revealed. I do believe this is completely the choice of the parents in how they discipline their children. I was spanked as a child and it really helped me become a well-behaved and well-mannered kid later on. Whichever way you choose to discipline your kids, emotionally or physically, there will always be someone out there like Radical Mommy who sees it as abuse.

Radical Mommy— you have a right to this OPINION but trying to force other people to take it as a fact is completely ignorant.

What would you do if I told you that letting your kids go to school is abuse? Other kids at school will likely end up treating your child worse than any discipline you have ever given to him or her and you are letting it happen by allowing them to go to school.

This is obviously just an opinion like yours Radical Mommy and posting it on the internet like this does nothing but cause arguments.

Bottom Line: It is the PARENTS CHOICE of how they discipline their own children.

ProPalin June 19, 2009, 2:19 PM

Radical “Wino” Mom represents, to me, a lot of what is SO wrong in the world these days. Bratty kids ruining dining out or movie going, no discipline, raise your kid the way I SAY, etc.
If you think a parent needs to be thrown in jail and their child taken away because of SPANKING, you are a Nazi a$$hole and you need to drink a LOT MORE…maybe it will make you a nicer person. Probably not, but hey, it’s worth a try.

Monica June 19, 2009, 2:29 PM

Sigh. I tire of this topic too. This is not and will never be a black/white issue. To me it’s like being an American and telling people in other countries how to live. If it’s not your culture, fine. I won’t judge you for it nor should you judge me. And yes I was spanked so few times I can probably count it but I haven’t NEEDED to do it with my kids, that’s all. Every child - even in the same family - is different. You can’t throw a blanket on this and call it parenting.

JROD June 19, 2009, 2:44 PM

This posting is ridiculous. The author actually needs to do some research on the topic before writing something like this. Any book or article that addresses the issue of spanking specifically talks about these issues… eg. not spanking with your bare hand, not spanking your child during the heat of the moment, not spanking in public.

There is a right way and a wrong way to spank a child, but to say that spanking, as a whole, is child abuse is just dumb.

Kevin June 19, 2009, 2:52 PM

What a BS article.

I was brought up where if you did something to deserve it, you got spanked. Thats how it worked. And guess what? I rarely ever did the thing that caused me to get spanked again. It works.

Get overyourself. I swear its people like the author of this artile that are making this country soft.

Dels June 19, 2009, 3:01 PM

*rolleyes* there is nothing that can be said on this that has not been said hundreds of times before.


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