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Spanking is Child Abuse!

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If you ask me, there is NEVER an excuse for hitting a child. And in my opinion, if you do, you should be arrested for child abuse and have your children taken away from you.

woman in jail

Radical Mommy: There is no doubt that spanking is a controversial topic. Do you do it? If you do, when do you do it? How do you do it? And how often?

Well, in my opinion, hitting a child is no different than your husband hitting you, and there is no excuse for it -- no matter how "bad" your child is.

So many people use the excuse, "Nothing else works. Spanking is the only thing that gets through to him/her." That's bullsh**. Spanking is just an excuse for taking your anger, frustration, and poor parenting skills out on your child.

People often spank because their child continues to do something that they deem annoying, dangerous, or defiant. Isn't that what being a kid is about? I mean really, how annoying can a child be that would warrant beating them with your hand, a belt, or a paddle -- whatever your weapon of choice might be? And yes, your hand is a weapon when it's inflicting pain on another person.

Have you ever considered that your child allegedly "responds" to the spanking because you are finally paying attention to him? After all, how does a kid get to be so annoying? You allowed him to become that way instead of nipping it in the bud when he was younger.

The fact is that if a man hit you because he was annoyed with you, frustrated with you, or thought you were doing something stupid or dangerous, he would be arrested and charged with abuse. Why then is it OK to hit a poor, defenseless child who has no choice about who his parents are? Unlike you, who chose to be with the man you are with.

Spanking is a cop out. It's a way to avoid parenting children and it's a way to take out aggression. It's also ABUSE.

So people, next time you get the urge to "spank" your kids, go find a puppy or a kitten and smack them around -- I'm sure they deserve it too!


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134 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous April 14, 2010, 10:55 PM

I was spanked as a child and now that I am grown, I am not angry or emotionally distraught. I will be a doctor soon and I feel that spanking, when done without malice, is a very effective way to discipline.

My brother was never spanked while he was being raised because my parents decided to try a “different technique” and he is a drug abuser, does not listen to authority and has been arrested several times.

To me, the proof is all right there. Yes, if you hit a child with malice, it is abuse. However, if I recall, my parents never -actually- hurt me while I got spanked. It was simply the humiliation, noise and anticipation that made it effective. I never felt pain or couldn’t sit down after I was spanked.

seven April 25, 2010, 9:57 AM

I’m a 27 year old father of a wonderful 4 year old son. I use spanking in coordination with time-outs when my son needs to be disciplined for something. Spanking is not my first reaction for every time he slips up, but I do feel that sometimes it is the proper approach.

If you are going to use spanking as a form of discipline you MUST explain to your child why they are being spanked, and be sure to remind them that just because they got into trouble doesn’t mean that you do not love them.

My father spanked me, just like his father spanked him. I hope that when I become a grandfather my son will follow in his footsteps and do a proper job raising my grandchild.

Irony: The number of school shootings is on the rise, and the number of paddles in the class room is on the fall. Coincidence?

bigmomma May 4, 2010, 1:21 AM

well when i was a little kid i got spanked when i did wrong and after i got a spanking i didnt do what ever i did to deserve a spanking again or atleast for a while. I grew up in a town where you knew if you did something wrong you WAS going to get spanked. and my mom would spank me in public if i acked like a little brat in public. people still do it there. There is a big big difference in spanking a child and beating them. I wasnt beaten i learnt to do what my mother said to do. i have seen kids that grew up without getting spanked and they run over their parents because their parents are afraid to spank their kids because everyone says its child abuse and those kids are usually the ones who are getting arrested for drugs and things like that. a friend of mine had a problem with her son who was 15 running around doing what he wanted and one day he stold money from her and put his hand up to her and told her he could smack her and she couldnt do anything about it or he would tell his school that she hit him. so she called the cops and that cop told him that in the state of Kentucky a parent is still allowed to spank a child and if he hit her he would go to jail. so i thank god that i live in the state i do. knowing that i can spank my child on the butt without people telling me that i am abusing my child. I think a smack on the butt will teach a kid that what a parent says goes. but smacking a kid in the face or hitting them with an object is takeing it way to far but a smack on the butt just lets the kids know whos boss. ask any older person they will prob tell you that they got whiped and whiped their kids. so before people start saying that spanking is abuse talk to your elders and ask them if they think spanking is abuse.

Lois May 13, 2010, 8:08 PM

We were spanked when we were kids and we turned out fine. We could go to anyones house and they were glad to see us because we behaved. Now days, how many kids can come to your house and behave themselves. They come and try to tear up everything and the parents just sit there and watch. Go out to a restaurant and watch the kids run, scream and play in the isles while their parents sit and eat and pay no attention to them. And you wonder why crime is getting worse. Teach your children right from wrong and we will have a much better world. Or stand them in a corner and let them do as they please while you sit back and watch to world go down hill all the way.

Just a kid May 15, 2010, 7:29 PM

hey, im 14 years old and i just wanted you guys to get my opinion on this. i was spanked when i was little and i completely disagree with the statement that spanking is child abuse. my parents never spanked me when they were mad or frustrated. they were always calm, they told me why i was getting spanked and after they had spanked me, they told me that they didnt like doing it, that it was for my own good, and that they love me. i was spanked until they realized that they could get through to me better by just discussing it. thats what they do now and i am very grateful for their form of discipline. i know that i wouldnt be the same if they hadnt!

Risings May 15, 2010, 8:46 PM

As a child, my parents spanked me, NOT beat me when it was appropriate. I grew up well adjusted, polite, and learned manners and to respect others and their personal belongings as well as their feelings. I now have children of my own of whom I have loved and nurtured but NEVER spanked them because today’s society has drilled in our head that not only is it considered to be abuse, but that if we do spank, we will go to jail! Now that’s BS. However, because I never spanked my children, but did as parenting classes, child services, and all the child abuse crying fanatics out there told me to do,(take away their toys, privileges ect.) I have one child that has already gone to jail for 2 weeks, and another that has had to be put on probation. You can say what ever you like, try and blast me and say that I wasn’t there for them or didn’t give them enough attention, (schools, their grades, coaches, parenting classes, friends, family, and even social workers that I asked to come into the home to help) will say different. But know this, spending time in jail for a short stint, no he wasn’t beaten but he damn sure was threatened to be thrown in solitary, and being cut off from the outside world sure as hell straightened him right out. Of course if I did that to him I would have been the one in jail. He behaved the way he did, because he never learned to fear authority and realized that he could act out all he wanted and get away with it because there would be some fanatic out there that would come to his rescue and cry, oh he just has bad parents and they spanked him. I definitively agree that you should not spank after the age of 5. You shouldn’t have to, but again spanking, NOT beating is appropriate and had I done that in the first place when he was little, he never would have ended up in jail with his sibling following in his footsteps.

Anonymous May 15, 2010, 9:37 PM

Kudos to you “Just a Kid” and Kudos to your parents. You are obviously a well rounded child, and will certainly grow up a great parent with well rounded children.

ped  June 24, 2010, 4:14 PM

That being said, once you spank your child, just one time, there is no going back. You can’t start out spanking them and then decide to use a less vile method, such as time out. This will never work.

When people decide to have children in the first place, wouldn’t it make sense for them to take some time learning what the best up to date modern method to discipline them would be, BEFORE they have them?

Of course those people are the exception to the rule.

The general tendency is to go ahead and use the very same techniques that were used on them by their parents. To even question these methods undertaken by their parents and ancestors, is the first step on the slippery slope towards dis-respecting (not-fearing, which oddly enough coincides with the feeling of love) those very same “Care-givers”.

the logic goes almost always a little like this: “That’s the way I was raised.
I didn’t turn out so bad. Did I? (seeking approval again)

or

“it’s not like there was some book on the subject I could read. If there was I would have read it!” when in actuality there have been literally dozens of books, if not more, categorizing modern methods on child rearing, going as far back as the turn of the twentieth century, if not further. (note: this might not be completely true, but due to the polemical nature of this rant, I decided to throw it in there for emphasis.)

when faced with this argument, they will invariably turn angry and start to demonize you as a “Librul Commie Queer”,
who’s “got no right to tell me what to do with my child.” I would counter that a good child is an asset to society and the world, and as such they should belong to the world, not the parent.
Apparently most people make babies, just to have someone there to do the chores, and to follow in their footsteps.(slaves)

it’s my oppinion that people should have to apply to have children. Science should be able to determine, what the most acceptable method is, for a free and democratic society, to raise its children. It should be a privelege, and not a right.

when you get real old, and it’s left up to your children to decide how to take care of you, what would you prefer: The child that has been belittled and afraid to speak his mind to you all these many years; or the one who truly loves you; the one that you would never lay an angry “loviing” finger on?
Because that is what it all comes down to. I think that this is called the Golden Rule, or something like that.

abby July 2, 2010, 9:46 PM

wow this was a terrible article…I’m 14 and I believe spanking is perfectly fine… there’s a difference between spanking and abuse…I was spanked as a kid and I turned out perfectly fine…I’m not a serial killer or a pysco and I have a 4.0 gpa…no lost brain cells lol…I mean my parents didn’t spank me everyday and most parents who spank don’t…it was only if I was doing something dangerous or something they warned me not to do…all you self-righteous people who pride themselves on not spanking, get over yourselves I hate your kids cuz they’re spoiled annoying brats…

dood September 2, 2010, 5:28 PM

ummmmmmmmmmm

well……. maybe spanking is ok occasionally, although for it 2 be a regular occurance it is abuse………………………and everyone of u can GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amanda September 12, 2010, 4:00 PM

Here’s an idea. Instead of telling each other how to parent your children and accusing each other of doing something horribly wrong, how about ASK YOUR CHILDREN HOW THEY FEEL about spanking. If you spank your child, ask them if THEY feel it’s unfair or if it makes them feel unnecessarily afraid. Ask them what they think before, during, and after the spanking. Just ask them!!! It’s a real shame to see parents completely bypass the actual feelings and opinions of the child and assume that it’s either completely harmless or completely damaging. Times have changed and the way you felt about it when you were a child may not be how your child feels about it today. Communication and understanding is far more effective than assumptions based on personal opinions.

snail September 16, 2010, 12:53 AM

I agree wholeheartedly that non-consensual violence is always wrong, especially when it is used against someone weaker or more vulnerable than the abuser. I hope there will soon come a day when spanking will be seen as no more than a barbaric custom from a savage, less enlightened past. My parents didn’t hit, and neither do I. I was not a disrespectful child, because they trained me to have empathy for others. I internalized positive values. I did not obey because I was afraid that the people responsible for keeping me safe would suddenly attack me, violating my space and my body, if I didn’t. How horrible that any child must live in fear of his/her own parents that way!

Jessica September 27, 2010, 12:08 AM

I get sick of hearing from these liberals that say spanking is abuse. It’s not, period. It’s a time-tested, tried and true method of discipline. Only in the past 30 years has the liberals pushed on society that spanking is wrong or somehow abusive. Look at society these days? How has the no-spank policy worked out?

Kids need discipline and spanking is and has been an effective form of disciple for eon’s.

Fashion Merchandising October 12, 2010, 3:57 PM

I am grateful to come across this post.

Jen November 6, 2010, 3:10 PM

Spanking is definitely abuse because you are hitting a child which causes pain it does not make them respect you it makes them fear you. If your husband spanked you for arguing wouldn’t you consider it abuse it is no different with children.

TK November 7, 2010, 10:55 AM

I was spanked as a child. Not beaten. I was spanked and I am very respectful, very kind, very mature and I think my parents did an amazing job raising me and my brother. There is a difference between spanking and abusing. I agree with spanking. Not abusing.

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T.L.C. November 29, 2010, 2:04 PM

It sounds like you need to be spanked. Crazy how ignorant some people can be!! I have been around children that have been spanked and those who have never been spanked. And guess what those who stuck to other forms of punishment, time-outs especially found they didn’t work!! Child abuse and spanking are two different things, moron.

T.L.C. November 29, 2010, 2:04 PM

It sounds like you need to be spanked. Crazy how ignorant some people can be!! I have been around children that have been spanked and those who have never been spanked. And guess what those who stuck to other forms of punishment, time-outs especially found they didn’t work!! Child abuse and spanking are two different things, moron.


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