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Spanking is Child Abuse!

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If you ask me, there is NEVER an excuse for hitting a child. And in my opinion, if you do, you should be arrested for child abuse and have your children taken away from you.

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Radical Mommy: There is no doubt that spanking is a controversial topic. Do you do it? If you do, when do you do it? How do you do it? And how often?

Well, in my opinion, hitting a child is no different than your husband hitting you, and there is no excuse for it -- no matter how "bad" your child is.

So many people use the excuse, "Nothing else works. Spanking is the only thing that gets through to him/her." That's bullsh**. Spanking is just an excuse for taking your anger, frustration, and poor parenting skills out on your child.

People often spank because their child continues to do something that they deem annoying, dangerous, or defiant. Isn't that what being a kid is about? I mean really, how annoying can a child be that would warrant beating them with your hand, a belt, or a paddle -- whatever your weapon of choice might be? And yes, your hand is a weapon when it's inflicting pain on another person.

Have you ever considered that your child allegedly "responds" to the spanking because you are finally paying attention to him? After all, how does a kid get to be so annoying? You allowed him to become that way instead of nipping it in the bud when he was younger.

The fact is that if a man hit you because he was annoyed with you, frustrated with you, or thought you were doing something stupid or dangerous, he would be arrested and charged with abuse. Why then is it OK to hit a poor, defenseless child who has no choice about who his parents are? Unlike you, who chose to be with the man you are with.

Spanking is a cop out. It's a way to avoid parenting children and it's a way to take out aggression. It's also ABUSE.

So people, next time you get the urge to "spank" your kids, go find a puppy or a kitten and smack them around -- I'm sure they deserve it too!

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134 comments so far | Post a comment now
Levi December 8, 2010, 1:53 PM

While yes, spanking can become abuse if the parent does it out of anger, it is most commonly not abusive. You are more than entitled to you’re opinion and how you raise you’re children, although it is highly ignorant to say that any parent that spanks their children should have their kids removed from them. Growing up, I was spanked as well were my siblings. Whenever the punishment was given, we were told to go to our rooms and wait a half hour or so before being spanked. This was done so our parent would have time to reflect and forgive so the punishment could be done out of love instead of momentary anger. The hardest part of the ordeal, for me, was not the actual spanking (it never hurt for more than a few seconds), but rather the dread that preceded it. You may hear of this, and cry ABUSE, however you obviously where not there to see these encounters, nor did you see my father read me stories before bed, or my mother driving to school in the snow to bring me a forgotten homework assignment. You can not possibly hear of one instance of spanking, and pigeonhole every positive aspect of their parenting style by saying: “spanking is an excuse for poor parenting skills.” While I am hesitant to spank my children when I have them, I would never, ever, call my parents punishments abusive. We have a very loving relationship and are quite close. I’ve also seen how a lack of punishment in parenting can be harmful. My aunt refused to spank, or even ground her kids for many years. To this day I have never seen such disrespectful and selfish kids! Once, my cousin, who was in third grade at the time, threw a god damn chair at her principal. I would never say that the lack of proper punishment was the sole cause (there was a drawn out and ugly divorce that is also to blame, as well as a pot-head father) I do believe that it played a role. Please, PLEASE, do not generalize all parents as you have. I am gravely offended that you would even consider my parents abusive, and trust me, if I had been taken from my parents at a young age, there is no way in hell I’d be the man I am now. They paid for my college for christ’s sake!!

Psssh December 10, 2010, 12:20 AM

Ok i never reply to these but for crying out loud did you what you just wrote radical mommy…. Spanking is not abuse it crosses that line at a certain point yes but that point is defined by: childs age, how many spankings, atmosphere, how hard they were spanked, what were they spanked with, for how long was the child spanked, and did the child have any marks left? 1 pop on the bum is NOT abuse it is a last min tool when every other resource has been exhausted. I would never hit my child for the sake of hitting him. Spanking in my family are last resort and deffinatly not common. After a spanking the child changes his behavior quickly and later he is sat down and talked to mommy expains that she doesnt want to have to spank him it hurts mommy to do that but what he was doing was unsafe and that when you dont listen and keep making mommy worry about your unsafe behavior thats when you got you spanking.. and you no what he is 4 and gets it!!!! Are you gonna say i should be put in jail… Try to i have worked in jails and by NO means is spanking abuse and You need to get more info before you go off the wall about spanking and attacking animals… horrible comparasion btw… wow what a waste of a comment… the decisson to spank or not is left with in the families not the government if you dont like it move to sweden for crying out loud but as a mom dont you dare tell me or any1 else who spanks that they are abusing their children who we love more then our own lifes…

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Jake December 24, 2010, 9:41 PM

I was abused by an evil stepmother. I would never hurt a child. Spanking is out of the question for me and anybody who is around me. If you spank your kids you better not let me catch you doin it cuz i will beat the holy fcking hell out of you! And if you tell me about it you better hope you can take an azz beating too!! I kicked my neighbors azz for hitting his dog! In some states spanking is illegal and you will go to prison for it! There are other ways to raise a child and hurting them by hitting them isnt one of them, my family knows my view on this and steers clear of it when they are around me! You all that hit your kids can run your mouths all you want to about my post cuz guess what f you I dont care what you have to say! For those of you on here who hit your kids you should be chained up and beat too! I hope you all rot in hell!

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Anonymous February 9, 2011, 4:02 PM

Suddenly, in the 21st century, you change the word “spanking” to “hitting,” throw in a heap of P.C, and something that was a totally acceptable form of discipline when we were growing up, is now child abuse. Why?

spanking is NOT abuse.. February 17, 2011, 9:49 AM

my mom spanked me and im doing great im currently in high school i get great grades and i thank my mom for spankiing me(:

Chase March 10, 2011, 9:48 AM

I am a 16 year old student in jrotc and will be joining the army and i belive in spanking i dont think that when the kid caches the house on fire,beat up a kid at chool,got bad grades,ect his/her punishment should be a time out WHIP THAT CHILDS A** AND THAY WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN

TealRose March 10, 2011, 7:31 PM

Great article … about time someone stood up and called spanking what it is. HITTING.

Cambridge Dictionaries Online: SPANK : to hit a child with the hand, usually several times on the bottom as a punishment

If you strike a child with your hand or worse an implement that IS hitting. It isn’t discipline, which means to TEACH it is abuse. It’s been banned here in Europe for many years and wow! no we do not see children going crazy, being unruly etc. What we DO see are parents actually parenting. Caring, loving and taking the time to bond with their children, to know whether they are hungry, tired, wet, in pain, sick, or going down with something rather than dragging them around shops for hours and not caring how they feel.

You cannot spank / hit with love - it’s a nonsense after all, if your husband told you he loved you and then spanked you, possibly till you couldn’t sit down, that would be abuse. Doesn’t matter how he cares to phrase it. Doesn’t matter he is ‘teaching you a lesson on how to pay your credit card bill on time’ …

I am a 56 yr old grandmother, and my parents lost me from the first time they spanked me. I lost my childhood, and they lost my love, respect and trust. I don’t respect people who hit me or anyone else. I learned fear, pain, anger, hate and resentment. I learned they didn’t love me - and no that post spanking pep talk of ‘oh we love you’ meant nothing to me as they had just hit me and proved to me otherwise. I seethed inside, as I always knew from when tiny that no one deserved to be hit. My parents never regained my love, trust or respect. I feel I was abused. Ok .. I did’t get broken bones, or split skin, but it’s only a difference of levels of violence. If you hit person once, or hit them a thousand times, both are abuse, it’s just the level that is different. As for learning anything useful - no no one learns in an atmosphere of fear of being hit. Do you want your child to tell you when they maybe have accidents and lose things, break things etc or do you want them to lie and cover it up because they fear you and you hitting them??

If you think your children are ok and smiling etc and you spank them, think again. My parents thought I was too. I wasn’t .. and AM NOT. I am still angry about it. If there are laws making hitting an animal, an adult , even a criminal illegal, then why on earth should I be allowed to hit a defenceless child for whatever reason?

And no, you are not psychic and can tell which children ‘need’ spanking in a supermarket etc. What you can tell is that the parents need more parenting skills and more disciplinary measures. Some parents do nothing. They don’t discipline and they don’t take an active interest in their children. They expect to co-exist in the same house, but not be bothered by them. It’s the modern form of ‘seen but not heard’.

Parents need to start parenting. Teaching right from wrong, so a child can think for it’s self rather than just reacting to the pain.

And IF spanking was so wonderful and worked - you would only ever need to do it once in an entire lifetime, as the child would not want it again - but in fact, most children are spanked for years over and over.

Just because spanking and hurting children has been with us for centuries doesn’t make it right. Wife beating, slavery and rape and buggery of small children in Ancient Rome have all been banned quite rightly and spanking children should be too.

In Sweden parents are not jailed but forced to go to parenting classes, unless a child has been really injured. At first the Swedes didn’t like this law - but now they have lower incidences of violence, and more and more people don’t even ‘want’ to spank. They have learned better ways of dealing with children.

I am appalled that when so much information on the damage of spanking is out there, that anyone wants to HIT a child.

If you were spanked and ‘feel fine’ and spank your children - think again after all what right minded person thinks hitting children is ok ??? Think just how much MORE ‘fine’ you might have been if your parents hadn’t hit you…

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