Momlogic's Talitha: It's not that I am against staying home after I give birth to our baby, but the fact that our society still assumes that it's my job is backwards. Who's to say that I want to take on the new job of staying up all night, staying home during the day, and giving up my work for an uncertain amount of time? Have you asked me?
It's 2009, and our economy is so far in the gutter it's not even funny. Lots of men have been let go from their jobs, leaving the women to bring home the bacon; women are returning to work sooner than they'd like to, post-baby; yet in most if not all cases, it's assumed that women will make the compromises and stay home for some period of time to take care of their newborn. I don't get it.
I know lots of you will get pissed off and say that I am lucky to be able to have a child and I shouldn't complain and all of that, but hear me out. I am not complaining. I'm simply asking why it is assumed, by everyone including the OB, a birthing teacher, friends, family, and my husband (most importantly), that I am to stay home? Why is it so ingrained in us that we don't sit down and question who should stay home, whose income we need, and what is the best choice for the entire family? Does the fact that a woman carries the baby for nine months automatically mean she should stay home afterwards, too? It makes no sense.
I would like to be asked: "Hey, are you OK with staying at home and giving up your job for X amount of months?" or "How do you feel about me going back to work after we return home from the hospital?" or "Do you want to stay at home?" What if I were to assume my husband was staying home after we have the baby, and I made plans to go back to work right after I recuperated physically? What if I were to casually announce this in our childbirth class? Do you think my husband would laugh? Yep. Do you think everyone would be shocked? Do you think my mother would think I was kidding? Yep.