Mary Poppins: I'm judging you. You are walking around with this thing around your neck and carrying your kid around like a sack of potatoes.

At first, I was confused; I thought maybe it was like a new backpack sling deal, a modification of the European satchel, if you will. Then I realized that you had a baby in there! A very young baby, like weeks old!

My first question is, how does he breathe?! I mean, you cannot even see his face unless you pull open the two sides, which you did occasionally. So seriously, I ask, on behalf of the many other Urban Outfitters customers that saw you: is your child getting enough air?!?

My second question is: does this support your child? I am assuming that, as the parent, you researched and looked into this "baby carrier," but you are not even using your arms to support him! He is just in this sack, hanging around your neck, while you sort through racks of clothes. Again, please note the concerned stares of others around you.

Finally, I would like to know if this thing doubles as a cart, because you are currently laying your clothes over this sling, and consequently over your baby. I mean, yes, the dress is cute, but couldn't you hold it with the hands that are not currently supporting your child? You have to know by now that EVERYONE in the dress section is staring at and whispering about you!

I get that maybe a stroller is a pain when you are going shopping and need to fit into small spaces, but THIS is a better option? Are you kidding me? Go pick up a Baby Bjorn or something like that, where your kid is at least supported and you can see him.

Am I the only one who has seen this monstrosity in use?

Mary Poppins is a nanny/babysitter who is not afraid to tell parents what is really going on with their kids. With over eight years of experience, Mary Poppins offers fresh commentary on issues that many families are facing today. You may not like what she says, but you recognize the truth in it.