Dr. Michelle Golland: Once you call the "Other Woman" your soulmate, your wife's next call may be to a divorce lawyer.
I do believe marriages can recover from infidelity, but Governor Sanford may have taken his second step toward the demise of his marriage when he said in a recent article that the woman he has had an affair with is his "soulmate," and he is trying to fall back in love with his wife. Let's face it -- those are painful words to hear coming from your husband. I think the more Governor Sanford speaks publicly, the more damage he is causing to his marriage.
Many couples can recover from an affair if the person who has cheated is truly remorseful and wants to make the marriage work. My concern with Governor Sanford is the way he is characterizing the "affair" as a "tragic love story." It seems to me that he cares more about the feelings of his mistress than those of his wife. In my opinion, he doesn't sound truly remorseful but is more upset that he has been caught.
Having worked with many couples struggling with infidelity, I have to say that if the husband were to come in and say he found his "soulmate," I would be moving from helping them reunite to helping them divorce.
What would you do if your husband used the term "soulmate" for another woman?
|Dr. Golland is a USC graduate and a licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY#16974). She works with adults, teens and is an expert in the field of marriage and relationships. Dr. Golland has given her expert advice on CNN, HLN, MSNBC, ABC, and Fox news. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and wonderfully exhausting two children.|