And I'm not gonna take it anymore!
Meanest Mom Jana Mathews: Generally, I support school fundraisers because they benefit kids. My investment in last month's various fundraising campaigns netted me a bag of chicken cutlets, 3 boxes of cookie dough, a glow-in-the-dark necklace, and a pack of pencils that smell like root beer.
I've been a little slow, however, in returning the order form for the current/300th fundraiser this year. The problem isn't that I can't find my checkbook, but rather, that I can't decide what to buy. All of the items in the fundraising brochure are must-have essentials sold at reasonable prices. I'm trying to decide between a hamburger press for $11.50 and a microwaveable bacon rack for $16.98.
When I told my kindergartner that I was thinking of sitting this fundraiser out, she threw herself off the sofa. "Now I'm not going to get that Wii!" she cried.
To thank our elementary school for letting them take 50% of the fundraiser's profits, the fundraising company is raffling off a Nintendo Wii. To be eligible for the drawing, you have to sell 5 or more items. I feel bad for my daughter, but not bad enough to buy five sets of potholders.
Once my daughter stopped hyperventilating, I explained to her the harsh realities of having a mother who is fed up with school fundraisers and all the pressure they put on the students to sell JUNK and the parents to buy it. And the 1 in 600 chance of winning the Wii? Don't even get me started.
"So what you're telling me is that I am never ever going to get that Wii?" she wanted to know.
"That is correct," I replied.
If my precious darling did not stomp her feet so hard that a knickknack fell off the mantle, I might have been moved to mercy ... and possibly been talked into buying a pair of aromatherapy candles and three hummingbird fan pulls.
Alas. It looks like we're just going to have to do without.
|Jana Mathews is the mother of "four under five" and the author of The Meanest Mom blog.|