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Jon Gosselin, You're Not a Teen Anymore!

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News flash: The adolescent years are OVER!

Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman

Dr. Michelle Golland: Every time I see Jon Gosselin standing next to a 20-something girl drinking a beer and lighting up a cigarette, I want to thump him on the head and say, "What are you doing? Grow up!"

So far, he has not risen to this very challenging time regarding himself and his family. As a relationship expert, I really believe that Jon and Kate could have worked out their issues if they had taken a long, hard look at themselves and been willing to change the things within each of them that contributed to the demise of their marriage. It appears they chose to not do that at all. I believe they never even tried marriage therapy, but simply decided to exit the relationship.

As I have said before, their children will ask each of them how hard they tried to fix what was going wrong; however, for better or worse, these kids will have many hours of footage to prove the lack of maturity, grace, and dignity both their parents have displayed along this very bumpy road.

It was obvious to me that Jon's exit from his controlling wife was clearly the act of a man caught in an adolescent rebellion revisited in his 30s. My greatest hope for him was that he would be able to pull out of this dark time with a new desire to be a stronger, more mature, and more defined man. So every time I see him smoking with his Ed Hardy hat on backwards, it makes me feel two things: I feel sad for him that he is unable to see his need for self-reflection and appears just as lost as he did in his marriage; and I feel annoyed at his lack of self-control at this time to be on his own and not defined in some way by a woman in his life.

So here is my advice to Jon:

1) Stop dating women who are in their own late-adolescent stage of life. Actually, just stop dating, at least for the summer;
2) Find a good therapist and do the personal work you truly need to live a better life and be the man you truly could be and the father you aspire to be;
3) You can start dating after you have completed step #2;
4) Stop smoking! Your kids are watching you and it is just gross;
5) With all the money you have, hire a stylist and get a better look, because the advice from your young girlfriends simply looks silly. This change may also help you date a woman who is more mature as well; and
6) Finally, take a step back for more than a minute and actually THINK about what you are doing and the fact that you have young children. You are a father. Act like one.

next: Love in 2-D: Men Who Love Body Pillows
7 comments so far | Post a comment now
Kathleen July 23, 2009, 3:57 PM

Well said!

ame i. July 23, 2009, 4:29 PM

You may be the expert but in MHO I don’t think J & K were a good match in the first place and doubt they would be able to work out their problems because their personalities clash and crash. Personally, I can’t imagine being married to someone as controlling & condescending as Kate or to someone laid back with a “yeah, whatever” attitude as John.
If John was 40 or 50 something I would question his relationship with a 20 something year old but don’t find the age difference here to be appalling.
I do agree that it isn’t a good idea for him to be dating at all so soon after deciding to end a marriage.
I was widowed almost 7 years ago after a 15 year marriage. I somewhat understand J’s new feeling of “freedom”; my late-husband & I were not a good match and would not still be married had he lived but I had 3 & 5 yr. old daughters to think about.
John needs to concentrate on his children right now. There will be plenty of time for fun later.
I waited a year to introduce my kids to my current husband when we were dating because I wanted to make sure our relationship was going to be permanent.

Melissa July 23, 2009, 5:03 PM

Since when is it DATING when two people are seen together? I think so much is being assumed about Jon that it really saddens me. Isn’t everyone just jumping to conclusions lately? And if you believe everything you read, then what about the stories of Kate kicking him out MONTHS ago and telling him it’s over and he can do whatever he wants. Sorry, but I am on his side and really resent all the nasty comments about him. He is doing the best he can at this point in his life.

Amber July 23, 2009, 5:17 PM


BW July 23, 2009, 7:24 PM

In my opinion, it’s unwarranted gawking and judgment from the public just like this that got him where he is today, and we should all just BTFU.

Leeza  July 24, 2009, 9:21 AM

Ever since the breakdown of Jon and Kate’s marriage, John reminds me of a lost 14 yr. old boy thats trying to find his place in this world. He’s a rebel without a cause! So selfish,immature and so fickle. He doesn’t even have a clue as to what he wants. Jon is a born slacker and under achiever.Jon’s latest 2 choices in young women speaks volumes about Jon’s lack of clarity, dignity and self respect.Jon has abandoned the one thing that he has achieved so far in his life-his beautiful children!They truly make him feel whole and happy. They need him and he needs them, now more than ever before.What a shame for those children to have to be caught in the middle of one of the most disgraceful and ugly divorces of all time!

Charlene August 13, 2009, 3:43 PM

I agree with everything she said, except the fashion advice. Maybe she thinks he looks silly but that’s just her opinion and being a relationship expert does not qualify her to judge his t-shirts. He does need some counseling, as do most people during/after a divorce, and he does need to grow up for the sake of his kids. But he’s not wearing his pants down around his knees or walking around in sheer mesh tops or anything else humiliating. He has the same haircut he’s always had and now some new t-shirts. Not a big enough deal to even make the advice list, let alone to rank above “You are a father, act like one.”

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