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I Wish My Husband Could Be Pregnant!

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If I could do the following things to my husband to help him understand that what I'm "complaining about" is real, I would give just about anything -- I'd even gain a few more lbs!

woman wishing her husband was pregnant instead

Momlogic's Talitha: The other day, super exhausted from work, my husband came home and was a total and utter baby, complaaaaaining about his long day and how hungry he was. He laid down on the couch and didn't get up the entire night! I thought to myself, "HA! I've been feeling like that for eight months, buddy." Then I thought to myself, "Gosh, if only he could feel what it's like to be pregnant, he'd never complain again."

Want him to know what it's like? It might not be such a bad idea to do this:

1. Give him a pill that would make him really nauseous right around dinnertime -- see what it's like to be starving yet sick, all at the same time? "Just have some crackers, babe!"

2. No food for a day -- it's "no biggie" being hungry all the time, right?

3. Make him wear a twenty-pound sandbag around his belly. Not easy walking up the stairs to our apartment, now, is it? "Help me with the grocery bags!"

4. No sleeping all night long! Going to work exhausted is harder than you thought, eh?

5. Buy him a size-smaller wardrobe and laugh when he complains about not fitting into his pants.

6. Complete strangers will come up to him and give him unsolicited advice -- all day long. Tell him, "Who cares what that person thinks?" when he complains about it.

7. Have your parents and his parents call and text him with questions about what he's eaten, how much he's worked out, if he's had his calcium, if they can come visit, not to drink coffee, and to make sure he's not drinking any alcohol.

8. Get a snore machine. Even though he won't be sleeping, it'll be twice as annoying listening to someone else snore next to you.

9. Make a huge pot of coffee just for you in the morning. "Can't have that, baby!" my well-rested face will say to my grumpy pregnant husband.

10. Occasionally punch him in the gut (just lightly). "Aww, look ... baby's kicking!"

11. Drink beer after beer in front of him while burping really loudly and then pumping your fists right after: "Oh yeah, baby, do you hear your mommy?! Can you put another in the freezer for me?"

12. Give him a pill so he's really constipated -- no reading the paper on the toilet today, honey!

13. Ask him: "Wanna have a quickie, honey? ... NO? WHY!? Ugh, I can't wait for this pregnancy to be over!"

The next time he says, "Oh babe. It's just nine months!" I could at least say "You couldn't even do it for a day."


next: Four Toddlers Walk Out of Daycare to Busy Road
9 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous July 23, 2009, 11:31 AM

Amen!! My husband was more considerate and caring though. He did get to feel some pretty hard kicks when i put his hand on my belly though, works pretty good at getting the idea across!! Better yet…just go on a tirade of how your day was and all your complaints. ::hugs to everyone going through this:: I dont get why some guys just dont get what women go through while they are pregnant. Want or not, its not always a picnic. My husband made a big thing of getting his life before the baby and how much it would change…I had to tell him I missed that opportunity, mine had already changed and I didn’t get to take advantage of cramming before the baby!

Pregnant Mother July 23, 2009, 12:42 PM

This is so good, will show this list to my husband, although he’s really not that bad at all. But you’re so right if men could get pregnant it would change the world.

jackie July 23, 2009, 2:54 PM

OMG SO TRUE! THEY HAVE NOOOOO IDEA! Yes of course we are also blessed to be able to do it, but they need to have way more understanding! Look at it this way, when they get a cold the whole world stops! imagine if they were pregnant!

ame i. July 23, 2009, 3:39 PM

I’m laughing with Jackie! So true!
My late-husband would do the death-grimace after stubbing his toe & would camp out on the sofa if he had a case of the sniffles so any & everyone could see how sick he really was. I remember my brother & dad doing the same when I was a kid.
At the beginning of our marriage I felt like death warmed over for a week before I asked him to take me to a doctor. He grumbled and grouched. Turned out I had Rheumatic Fever.
Our daughters were BIIG babies(10.6 & 11.2)& he actually made fun of me for wearing one of those belly support strappy things.
Sometimes men should be seen and not heard :)

Jeremy July 29, 2009, 6:15 AM

Well I’m a male and I would love to be pregnant. There is an actual theory of how the male could sustain the pregancy and deliver: ectopicly, with female hormones at first, in the abdominal cavity and delivering by C-section. Though this is still experimental at the moment I would love to be able to experience the miracle of growing and giving life from my body, even if it renders me infertile. The problem is there are always conservatives trying to tie people old age gender roles which are stupid. I’m 14 and I would love to be able to carry a child by the time I’m an adult.

Jeremy July 29, 2009, 6:15 AM

Well I’m a male and I would love to be pregnant. There is an actual theory of how the male could sustain the pregancy and deliver: ectopicly, with female hormones at first, in the abdominal cavity and delivering by C-section. Though this is still experimental at the moment I would love to be able to experience the miracle of growing and giving life from my body, even if it renders me infertile. The problem is there are always conservatives trying to tie people old age gender roles which are stupid. I’m 14 and I would love to be able to carry a child by the time I’m an adult.

Jeremy July 29, 2009, 6:15 AM

Well I’m a male and I would love to be pregnant. There is an actual theory of how the male could sustain the pregancy and deliver: ectopicly, with female hormones at first, in the abdominal cavity and delivering by C-section. Though this is still experimental at the moment I would love to be able to experience the miracle of growing and giving life from my body, even if it renders me infertile. The problem is there are always conservatives trying to tie people old age gender roles which are stupid. I’m 14 and I would love to be able to carry a child by the time I’m an adult.

Jeremy July 29, 2009, 6:15 AM

Well I’m a male and I would love to be pregnant. There is an actual theory of how the male could sustain the pregancy and deliver: ectopicly, with female hormones at first, in the abdominal cavity and delivering by C-section. Though this is still experimental at the moment I would love to be able to experience the miracle of growing and giving life from my body, even if it renders me infertile. The problem is there are always conservatives trying to tie people old age gender roles which are stupid. I’m 14 and I would love to be able to carry a child by the time I’m an adult.

Jeremy July 29, 2009, 6:15 AM

Well I’m a male and I would love to be pregnant. There is an actual theory of how the male could sustain the pregancy and deliver: ectopicly, with female hormones at first, in the abdominal cavity and delivering by C-section. Though this is still experimental at the moment I would love to be able to experience the miracle of growing and giving life from my body, even if it renders me infertile. The problem is there are always conservatives trying to tie people old age gender roles which are stupid. I’m 14 and I would love to be able to carry a child by the time I’m an adult.


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