Well, it wasn't exactly oops! We were planning to have another child soon, but maybe not this soon. My son just turned one, I just stopped breastfeeding. My body was mine again. I had lost most of my baby weight. I could have wine and sushi and not feel guilty ...
Angela Chee: Don't get me wrong, I feel very blessed to be pregnant again, but I wouldn't have minded a few more months in between. So here I go again.
You'd think since I just had a baby I would remember everything, but it's amazing how soon you forget. I find myself still reading the chapters of "What to Expect When You're Expecting," even though I already know the answers to the questions. But since I have been through it before ... I'm a little more relaxed now. The second time around it's different, yet the same.
I'm still experiencing some of the same emotions and same situations. Peeing on the stick waiting for the pink signal, calling the doctor and feeling anxious having to wait until week 8 to see her to confirm I was really pregnant, feeling nauseous, tired, achy, and having to pee all the time. I never liked the first trimester: since you're bloated and not really showing yet, I just feel fat. Since I didn't share the news until 12 weeks ... I spent the first few months feeling kind of isolated. When people asked me "How are you, what's new?" I didn't know what to say.
But the second pregnancy is also different. First of all, I'm bigger than I was last time; it's hard to hide the belly. Also, I don't have time really to think about the pregnancy, because I'm trying to take care of my toddler. The weeks creep up on you, and I feel bad for not marking all the milestones and journaling my experiences like I did with my first. My friends ask me: Are you excited and in total baby mode? Well, I'm excited, but I'm too busy trying to keep up with my running toddler, work, and household stuff to pay attention to every little detail of the pregnancy like I did with the first.
I have to make a conscious effort to remember, "Oh yeah, you're pregnant." Although I still feel a little crappy, so it's hard to forget. I'm back to taking naps when the baby naps, if I can. I also always feel one step behind, because I'm still feeling sick ... it's hard to be supermom. Chasing my toddler takes a lot out of me ... so dishes stack up ... and so does my e-mail and to-dos. I'm hoping to get my energy back soon.
So this time, the anxiety is not about pregnancy or giving birth, it's about coming to the realization that by the end of the year, I will have two kids. How will our lives be different? Will I be able to juggle everything with two kids? Also, instead of noticing other first-time moms with bellies, I notice how many kids people have, how far apart in age they are, and how the parents tag team to take care of them. Cheers to parents out there that have two, three, even four or more children. I guess I will figure it out, but for now I will do my best to enjoy my pregnancy and hope that my "morning (all day) sickness" will end soon.
|Angela Chee is a television host, voice-over artist and creator of TheZenMom.com as a resource for other moms because motherhood isn't always so zen. She is a first time mom.|