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Open Letter to Mean Lady at Starbucks

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Trust me, we don't love it when Luke makes a scene in public. But you know what? He's a baby. That's what they do.

Dear Cranky Lady,

Open Letter to Mean Lady at Starbucks

This past Saturday afternoon, my wife, 14-month-old son, and I were walking down Montague Street when it started pouring. Not wanting to get soaked, we stopped into our friendly neighborhood Starbucks for a quick cup of coffee while we waited for the summer rainstorm to pass.

To entertain our son, Luke, we gave him a swizzle stick and a packet of Splenda. Yes, both of these are probably dangerous for a toddler to play with, but trust me, that's like the 45th most dangerous thing Luke has had in or near his mouth.

As you may recall, Luke found the swizzle stick hilarious. So hilarious that he shrieked with delight, as one-year-olds are known to do. This didn't seem to bother the other patrons in Starbucks, most of whom had small children.

But Luke's loud laughter did seem to bother you. So much so that you glared at him, sighed, "tsked" audibly, and said, to nobody in particular, "I remember when this place was peaceful." Really? "Peaceful"? 

And although the several patrons in the coffee shop sensed that you were a horrid person, and immediately came to our defense by saying things like "We don't mind at all" or "I guess she was never a baby before" -- there are a few things I'd like to say to you now.

First, this was not a fancy restaurant, or a library, or an office. It was a densely populated Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon in a kid-friendly neghborhood DURING A RAINSTORM. We were in there to dry off, unlike you, who spends your day there nursing your small cup of coffee, reading Us Weekly, and listening to Michael Buble on the Starbucks channel. If you wanted "peace" and quiet, STAY HOME.

Also, trust me, we don't love it when Luke makes a scene in public. But you know what? He's a baby. That's what they do. They don't know that you're 50 and friendless and mean and hate kids. They're just babies.

Anyhow, sorry for ruining your depressing Saturday routine with the laughter of a child. We know better now, and we'll just sit out in the rain in the future.

In the meantime, kindly go starbuck yourself.

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44 comments so far | Post a comment now
Amy November 21, 2009, 11:30 AM

Some people are just anti-kid. Seriously. I have 3 little boys who are 4 and under. I get it that not everyone wants to pop out kids. I get it that you enjoy a quiet restaurant meal without shrieking little people. That’s fair. But sometimes the looks I get for daring to have a stroller in a department store (gasp) or on outings like yours that are typical places to swing by with a kid are ridiculous.

Starbucks isn’t the library. If you neglect your kid while you lounge with a latte that’s one thing. But managing a tired cranky kid while you grab a cup of sanity is hardly grounds for dirty looks. Hang in there and hold your ground!

Rita November 21, 2009, 11:06 PM


Yeah, what’s up with the people that think just because I’m a mom, I have to abandon my life? HEY F*CK YOU. I have a right to be ANYWHERE I DAMN well please thank you very much.

I wouldn’t take my 2 year old in a Starbucks unless we were on a road trip or something but usually my husband is with us and can watch the kids while I go in and get my coffee. I take my 8 year old in there and she’s a good kid. Doesn’t make noise, wipes up her mess, is quiet.

But yeah I’ve heard worse noise from ADULTS in Starbucks. So c’mon if u really want somewhere peaceful where u won’t hear any noise, stay home. Anywhere you go you’re going to hear some kind of noise! So get over yourself.

I’m just astonished at the number of people who think just because someone is a parent, they have to “seclude” themselves from society. Screw you. I’ll take my family and I anywhere I damn well please! Get over it.

andrea November 21, 2010, 5:38 PM

Stepped in to get out of the rain, not to have a coffee..strange, its a coffeebar, not a rainshelter. Walk around the mall.

Now kids laughing and screeching are a joy, not a nuisance. Those that scream and wail on the other hand….

McDonald’s has play areas for those with children, Starbucks IS geared towards adults…coffee is not a childs drink…this along with all those energy drinks should be banned for anyone under 18 just like alcohol.

alison November 21, 2010, 5:47 PM


Good language, nice attitude. You don’t have a right to be anywhere you damn well please. I DO have the right to tell you to f*** off, thats in the constitution (in language you understand.)

Its women like you that give all decent mothers a bad name.

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