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Pregnancy is Surreal

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Briana Mordente: Being pregnant for the first time is surreal. At first. Once you get over the initial shock, and once you've exhausted those long "We're about to embark on something magical" talks with your husband, you're left to go on about your days as usual. Well, almost usual.

Pregnant woman

There are things that are different now that I'm pregnant. The world gets drunk around me, without me ... I used to enjoy cocktail hour with my friends when the wine would flow freely. Or margaritas. But now that I'm pregnant, there are no more cocktails at any hour. Food is what gets my attention now. Is it time to eat yet? And if it isn't time to eat yet, when do I get to eat next? I actually find at dinnertime that I'm sad because I know it's the last meal of the night and I have no other meals to look forward to. Except dessert, if there's room. Those are the special nights.

And speaking of food ... I also have a little bit of food guilt. One part of me wants to eat whatever I want because, after all, I'm pregnant! I'm "eating for two"! But another part of me feels I'll regret doing that later. Not to mention all the weight I've already gained! Plus, when I do stuff myself to my heart's content, my stomach gets really hard and I feel sort of sick. To stuff, or not to stuff, that is an everyday question for me ...

The doctor said I could, but is it really safe to color my hair ... ? I made the mistake of going on the Internet to find out if it was safe to color my hair before I saw my doctor. If you've ever done that, then you know there's a plethora of information on the subject that never gives you a concrete answer. It's pretty much split down the middle -- with half the mothers saying it's "fine" and they did it and their baby is super healthy, and the other half declaring that if you're so vain that you need to color your hair while you're pregnant and risk any tiny little harm it might do, then maybe you should reconsider being a mom. Ouch! Even though my doctor said I could, I still feel guilty each time I color, wondering, hoping, that it truly is okay.

I miss my clothes sooooo much ... I miss my old body! I'm in that awkward stage of pregnancy where I don't look very pregnant, but more like I had a couple of burritos for lunch. People who know me, of course, know I look pregnant, but I don't think it's totally obvious to strangers just yet. I hate the look of maternity clothes, but all my regular clothes don't fit! I have a closet full of clothes that are useless to me now! They look so lonely hanging there, lifeless, in the closet. I know they miss me too.

These are all temporary worries, I know, and trivial as well, compared to the wonderful little life growing inside me. Everyone who is a mom says it's the most wonderful journey they have ever embarked on in all their experiences. Until it happens, I miss sitting in my favorite jeans, wine in hand, with my worry-free, freshly colored hair.

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5 comments so far | Post a comment now
Gigohead  July 1, 2009, 10:38 AM

This is going to be a long 10 months for this author. Funny, I’m expecting my third in October and I don’t even think anything near like this woman. I don’t miss drinking or dying my hair or any narcissistic things such as jeans or clothes. As a been-there-done-that mom, you just don’t have time anymore for yourself with kids to raise. It’s been that way for 15 years now (that’s the age of my oldest son).

I wish her the best.

Anonymous July 1, 2009, 12:07 PM

I enjoyed reading this article. It’s exactly how I felt with my first pregnancy. I missed the nights that I could drink with my girl friends, I missed my old body that began to look more like I had a beer belly than actually pregnant. I though prego clothes weren’t that attractive. Don’t get me wrong I was super excited to have my baby, but the whole 9 months of being prego was not ideal. And word of advice, don’t eat everything you want ! You will regret it later ! Eat enough to satisfy you and your baby.

Anh-Chi  July 4, 2009, 1:33 AM

I think pregnancy should be celebrated, and it’s one of the few times in a woman’s life where she can feel utterly beautiful in her own skin. A lot of women agree that they feel most beautiful during pregnancy…hence the glow on their face. Maternity fashion admittedly is either too drabby or expensive, but I’m positive there’s ways to dress up wardrobe during pregnancy and make the best of those 9 months. I can’t wait for pregnancy minus the sickness of course. Pregnancy such a beautiful process, and it should be embraced!!!

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