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Pros and Cons of Dating Younger Men

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As women continue to achieve their own economic power, and sexual taboos get lifted every day, the notion of dating and marrying a younger man is a very real option for every woman.

Young man and older woman smiling

Dr. Wendy Walsh: Back in 2003, a study by AARP revealed that 34 percent of all women over 40 in the survey were dating younger men, and 35 percent preferred it to dating older men. But before you head down the same road as Demi Moore, Madonna, and Susan Sarandon, there are some things to consider.

Perhaps the biggest stumbling block if you are considering longevity is the difference in long-term priorities. When couples are biological peers, initial sexual attraction eventually gives way to shared life goals. In a May/December couple, when the initial sexual attraction wanes, the difference in life plans comes to light. He might have loved your kids when his hormones were high on the hunt for you, but things change. And, if he doesn't have his own biological children, there's a good chance he'll want some someday. This could be a problem if your factory is closing soon. And if you are already financially planning for retirement and he's investing in a risky way that only the young can afford to do, you might have some money disagreements. Then there is society's perception of your relationship. We are years past the movie "The Graduate," and our culture has certainly become more accepting of older women with younger men, but think about the slang term for those women: "Cougars." Older women are still seen by many as predators.

On the positive side, a younger man can be a big boost to our self-esteem. It is wonderful to be put in a social situation where our wisdom and life experience can shine. Young guys can be really impressed by our knowledge. They also love our sexual confidence. The old double standard, where a woman loses points for sexual experience, is wiped away. Our sexual experience becomes an asset.

I recently learned my favorite pro to marrying a younger man at my doctor's office. She announced that she was retiring at the age of 59. When I asked if this early retirement was because her husband was retiring, I was told, "Oh no. My husband is twelve years younger than me. I'm getting to retire because he still plans to work for another decade." Nice.

next: WTH? Is This for Real?!
17 comments so far | Post a comment now
Gigohead  July 27, 2009, 1:17 PM

My two friends who happen to be dating younger men complain all the time how broke their men are or the immature things they do or say.

I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t want to listen to any of it.

Hospital Doctors Queensland April 6, 2010, 12:16 PM

I think that there should be at least six years difference between the age of the man and woman if they want to enjoy their married life at maximum level. I will definitely chose a woman six year younger to me.

Jennie May 9, 2010, 10:59 AM

Although my husband is older than me I’ve found males in their late teens and early twenties are really good sexual partners than older men. They can repeat faster and more, and they are distinctly kinkier.

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Danica Aguada February 8, 2011, 11:19 PM

for blogging! your special perspective on this.

Cathern Loyer February 10, 2011, 1:06 AM

the article is truly informativeon this meritorious theme.

Maija February 11, 2011, 6:53 AM

My only complaint on dating youger men is that they dont have the relationship experience that I do. Although my guy is insanely responsible, he lacks the understanding of how a relationship works when things get bumpy. He is very narrow-minded. (Im 31 and he is 25) The question is when will that issue mature?

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Lilly Lowe April 8, 2011, 10:09 AM

I have been in a relationship with a man 10 years younger than me for the last three months. He persude me and made it clear that the age difference was not an issue for him. I have pushed him away and he looks for me and tells me he’s depressed without me. I don’t knowhat to think anymore.

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