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The Three-Month Rule

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Georgie Hockett: Finding out that you're newly pregnant is exciting and you want to tell the world; but doctors always say it's safer to wait until after the first trimester. Do you tell everyone now and deal with bad news later, or wait until everything is "safe"?

pregnant woman

For me, I tell. Because I figure if something happens, everyone will be wondering why I'm so upset. By coming out with it up front, everyone is there to celebrate with me ... and there to support me if it wasn't meant to be.

I asked my doctor what she thought, and she admitted that it's ultimately up to the parents to decide when to spill the beans. "But perhaps," she added, "it is easier to handle everything quietly, between the two parents, if the situation does change."

When polling my friends, it's basically 50-50. I've had some people tell me that they think they're pregnant, but then it doesn't last. And in those situations, I'm glad I know so I can be there for them.

I also think that miscarriages happen so often, and if no one talks about them, women don't know that miscarriages are as common as they are. Just like plastic surgery, I say come out with it. It raises the level of awareness and shows that we are all human -- a fact that often gets buried beneath the "perfect picture" of someone's life that we have in our heads, which could not be further from the truth.

Others keep it in the vault until three months later, and there are perks there, too: the pregnancy is only six months long! Either way, it's a personal choice. Just don't get me started on those who don't find out the gender!

next: You Too Can Become a Marathon Mom
6 comments so far | Post a comment now
mommy<3 July 9, 2009, 10:22 AM

I completely agree with this! :)

Anonymous July 9, 2009, 11:45 AM

i told everyone the day after the home pregnancy test. i took the test, then went to the doctor the next day just to be sure. then we started making our calls. thankfully everything worked out great.

Hailey'sMommy July 9, 2009, 1:15 PM

I completely agree! It was tough for us not to share the news with our parents and REALLY close friends, so we did pretty early. But we didn’t tell our co-workers, extended family and friends until my doctor confirmed everything was okay (about 14 weeks). We wanted to get through the first trimester .. safely.

Cheree July 9, 2009, 5:40 PM

Like the previous poster, we shared the pregnancy news with close family/friends, and asked them not to share with others until the first trimester was over. Our rule is share the early pregnancy news with people who will be good support if there is a miscarriage, and save the general announcement for later.

Monica July 9, 2009, 5:44 PM

I agree I feel like once I find out beside the fact that I am so happy if I do miscarry that I want all the support I can get. I think so women suffer in silence. I don’t think miscarrying should be a taboo subject.

Anonymous July 9, 2009, 9:08 PM

I totally agree w/ Monica and Cheree. As soon as I saw that positive, after the shock wore off w/ my hubby, I told my very closest family members and friends. That way they know why I am sick,grouchy, elated and tired and they would be there for me should I of gone through a miscarriage.

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