I can't take this much longer!
Lori Curley: I am completely sick of the online application process. Yesterday I
almost said "yes" to "Have you been convicted of a felony?" in part
because I am considering holding up a liquor store. How hard can that
be? I have a master's in education; certainly I can ask a cashier for
small bills in a brown paper bag. I also have begun checking "other" when asked for ethnicity.
What makes the whole thing especially irritating is that I am looking for work teaching high school English, but I am being screened as if I were splitting atoms for the CIA. The other day, I filled out an online personality test that determined I was unfit to teach in Newark, NJ. That's right, folks. I was turned down by a district that boasts 75% drop-out rates and is number 2 on the homicide list. Two questions remain -- what the heck is wrong with them? What the heck is wrong with me?
Anyone who has finished high school knows that "a strategy for handling various skill levels" and a "teaching philosophy," which I am asked to describe at length, is overkill. There are only two kinds of high school kids: those who are brilliant and will learn in spite of the teacher; and those who operate on a need-to-know basis. The second group is virtually unreachable by ninth grade. They may barely pass the standardized tests, but they do just fine in the real world. In fact, most of our country is operated by people who think Socrates is a rat in a horror movie.
If I were hiring, I would choose the teacher whose face and voice are least irksome. I would hire me.
|Lori Curley, champion mother of two middle-school teenagers, resides in South Orange, NJ. She holds a Masters in Education and has been teaching writing at the college level for 7 years. But can she find a job as a high school English teacher? Or will she pull her hair out first?|