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Annoyed and Unemployed

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I can't take this much longer!

annoyed woman in computer

Lori Curley: I am completely sick of the online application process. Yesterday I almost said "yes" to "Have you been convicted of a felony?" in part because I am considering holding up a liquor store. How hard can that be? I have a master's in education; certainly I can ask a cashier for small bills in a brown paper bag. I also have begun checking "other" when asked for ethnicity.

What makes the whole thing especially irritating is that I am looking for work teaching high school English, but I am being screened as if I were splitting atoms for the CIA. The other day, I filled out an online personality test that determined I was unfit to teach in Newark, NJ. That's right, folks. I was turned down by a district that boasts 75% drop-out rates and is number 2 on the homicide list. Two questions remain -- what the heck is wrong with them? What the heck is wrong with me?

Anyone who has finished high school knows that "a strategy for handling various skill levels" and a "teaching philosophy," which I am asked to describe at length, is overkill. There are only two kinds of high school kids: those who are brilliant and will learn in spite of the teacher; and those who operate on a need-to-know basis. The second group is virtually unreachable by ninth grade. They may barely pass the standardized tests, but they do just fine in the real world. In fact, most of our country is operated by people who think Socrates is a rat in a horror movie.

If I were hiring, I would choose the teacher whose face and voice are least irksome. I would hire me.


next: Two Sisters Drown in Family Pool
3 comments so far | Post a comment now
Sherron Teal August 4, 2009, 6:14 AM

You should have some type of column, it is six o’clock in the morning and I just had a great laugh, thanks!

Sherron Teal

Winston Salem, NC

Anonymous August 4, 2009, 8:47 AM

“The second group is virtually unreachable by ninth grade.”

Ummm, can you say second grade?

Anonymous August 4, 2009, 5:39 PM

I have been unemployed for a year now.. but did not start looking seriously until Feb of this year. I can relate to your article. It is not just the education field, the online process has taken over EVERYTHING. I’ve even applied for part-time reception positions with full on screenings, which in my opinion do not represent anything the job will truly entail. It is depressing at times, frustrating always!


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