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Kids Watch: "GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra"

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Your beloved childhood toys come to life on the big screen ... and haunt your kids with mega violence.

G.I. Joe : The Rise of Cobra

Rhianwen Benner:

THE LOWDOWN
"GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra" may be the most violent film targeted at children ever produced. Soldiers shoot at soldiers, children murder adults, explosions take out innocent bystanders, people fall to their deaths from buildings. If there's a way to be killed, chances are it can be seen in this (inexplicably PG-13) movie.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT
In between explosions, there are some decent role models to be found: the GI Joe gang is disciplined, sensitive and very loyal to one another. They exemplify teamwork and demonstrate great bravery in protecting the world from the havoc wreaked by nanomite technology (um, still not entirely sure what that is.)

Your kids will love the heroes' gear. Heck, sign me up for an accelerator suit. A fashion accessory that makes you jump higher, run faster, burn more calories... Who wouldn't want that?

WHY YOU'LL HATE IT
The violence is so excessive that a PG13 rating may be pushing it. Sure, some of it's bloodless and obviously done through special effects, but there are several particular scenes that are downright disturbing. Here's just a sample:

  • The opening scene ends with a man being pinned down and having a scolding hot metal mask being pressed into his face.
  • A child murders his adult teacher and even though it happens off-screen, we see the blade pushed through his bloody body.
  • People are slashed with blades when their guard is down (and yours is as well).

Though you've probably seen worse, there is quite a selection of foul language in the film. The filmmakers go out of their way to show female characters in sexually suggestive positions. Women are somehow scantly clad even when wearing full military gear. There is also a lengthy conversation where the word "touching" acts as an obvious
codeword for sex. Expect to field questions from your kids about that one.

THE BOTTOM LINE
If your kids are sensitive or under 13, you may want to skip this one. Of course, the film is being marketed at them from every angle of their world, so they'll probably beg you to take them. But when the nightmares and aggressive behavior follow in the wake of seeing GI Joe, just remember I warned you.


next: Parents Sue to Keep Kids From Having to Be Nice to Gays
3 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous August 14, 2009, 9:10 PM

I don’t understand why would anyone take kids UNDER 13 to a PG 13 movie. The movies are rated for a reason, and I took only my 13 year old for the simple fact, I don’t have to explain the implied remarks or the violence, she understands fiction from reality.
wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PG-13

PG-13 - Parents Strongly Cautioned (1984-Present)
Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

May contain moderate language, minimal strong language, some explicit nudity, intense violence, gore, some sex, or mild drug content. This is the highest unrestricted rating.

John (not a mom) August 18, 2009, 1:15 PM

To Anonymous:

As you point out in your own defense of PG-13, the rating is “unrestricted”. Which means that - although parents are strongly cautioned - any kid at any age (with $10-$12) can go into a PG-13 movie unaccompanied. Even parents of small children need to pay attention.

credit score report December 15, 2010, 8:30 AM

Thanks for your sharing, it’s very useful


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