Your beloved childhood toys come to life on the big screen ... and haunt your kids with mega violence.
"GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra" may be the most violent film targeted at children ever produced. Soldiers shoot at soldiers, children murder adults, explosions take out innocent bystanders, people fall to their deaths from buildings. If there's a way to be killed, chances are it can be seen in this (inexplicably PG-13) movie.
WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT
In between explosions, there are some decent role models to be found: the GI Joe gang is disciplined, sensitive and very loyal to one another. They exemplify teamwork and demonstrate great bravery in protecting the world from the havoc wreaked by nanomite technology (um, still not entirely sure what that is.)
Your kids will love the heroes' gear. Heck, sign me up for an accelerator suit. A fashion accessory that makes you jump higher, run faster, burn more calories... Who wouldn't want that?
WHY YOU'LL HATE IT
The violence is so excessive that a PG13 rating may be pushing it. Sure, some of it's bloodless and obviously done through special effects, but there are several particular scenes that are downright disturbing. Here's just a sample:
- The opening scene ends with a man being pinned down and having a scolding hot metal mask being pressed into his face.
- A child murders his adult teacher and even though it happens off-screen, we see the blade pushed through his bloody body.
- People are slashed with blades when their guard is down (and yours is as well).
Though you've probably seen worse, there is quite a selection of foul language in the film. The filmmakers go out of their way to show female characters in sexually suggestive positions. Women are somehow scantly clad even when wearing full military gear. There is also a lengthy conversation where the word "touching" acts as an obvious
codeword for sex. Expect to field questions from your kids about that one.
THE BOTTOM LINE
If your kids are sensitive or under 13, you may want to skip this one. Of course, the film is being marketed at them from every angle of their world, so they'll probably beg you to take them. But when the nightmares and aggressive behavior follow in the wake of seeing GI Joe, just remember I warned you.
|Though technically an adult, Rhianwen Benner voraciously consumes children's media with the passion and wonder of a child. As a researcher at Temple University, she has studied the relationship between media and children's development. She has witnessed many special moms and kids navigate the often complex world of children's entertainment. Based in Los Angeles, she is here to serve as your field guide to what kids watch.|