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Married Moms Use Condoms? Really?

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I almost can't believe it!

woman holding a condom

Single Mom Seeking: As some of you might know, I'm a single mom. That means I'm a bit clueless about married life, or what your typical modern day, husband and wife sex life might be like.

Anyway, I have always assumed that married couples don't use condoms. C'mon now, why would they? There's such a variety of hormones and IUDs available without the, uh, rubber, getting in the way, right?

Well, I was wrong. Very wrong.

This all started when a married friend of mine recently told me that she and her hubby use condoms. For real? She explained that not only do hormones wreak havoc on her body -- weight gain and migraines -- but she's at high risk for getting a blood clot.

While writing this post, I got curious. I put out an alert via Twitter and Facebook: "Calling all married moms who use condoms...."

I was floored that I got even got answers -- so I kept researching.

Another mom -- a former single mom who recently got remarried -- told me: "I can't take birth control because I'm one of the few whose risk factors include a stroke."

"I can't do hormones at all," said another mom. "Even the IUD was bad."

Indeed, it seems like the most common reason that married couples use condoms appears a strong sensitivity to the hormones. (I get that!)

According to a Population Reference Bureau survey in 2008, on average, in developed countries, condoms are the most popular method of birth control: 28% of married contraceptive users rely on condoms. Wow.

Japan has the highest rate of condom usage in the world, according to the same study: condoms account for almost 80% of contraceptive use by married Japanese women.

I'm so still curious: Are you a married mom whose husband uses condoms? What's the reason?

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26 comments so far | Post a comment now
RachelAZ August 18, 2009, 3:56 AM

Nope! (thank goodness!!) I’m glad my body doesn’t react horribly to the hormones and I am able to take the pill as our method of BC.

Daryl August 18, 2009, 7:54 AM

My husband and I are using condoms until he gets a vasectomy (probably another year). I’m nursing so I don’t want any artificial hormones in my system.

Briellis August 18, 2009, 8:47 AM

We used them because I can’t use hormonal birth control. I have an autoimmune disorder called Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome, so I have a very very high risk of blood clots. And I am a nursing mother.

anonymous August 18, 2009, 9:01 AM

My husband and I have been married 27 years. Gotta tell you—the sex is better than ever! We’ve used condoms all our lives for other reasons, not for birth control. They prolong activities at times, sometimes we want less mess, and for when we have anal sex. TMI? lol!

shea August 18, 2009, 9:06 AM

we use them just bc i dont trust the pill and i almost died giving birth 2 our son…..if i got pregnant again id hav 2 hav an abortion so im a lil 2 careful!!!!

PlumbLucky August 18, 2009, 9:09 AM

The mini-pill is not good for my sanity, and I’m still nursing so I can’t take the ones that don’t wonk up my hormones. Doctor isn’t geeked about a “hormonal” IUD for that reason, I’m not impressed with copper IUDs, and I’m not impressed with the failure rate and work required for a diaphragm or cap.

Barb August 18, 2009, 9:44 AM

I don’t like medications, so the thought of putting hormones and other drugs into my body is off-putting (to say the least). I’ll admit that I prefer non-condom sex (which we did when trying to get pregnant and while pregnant), but I don’t find condoms TOO much of a hassle. On a side note, I’ve been with my husband 11 years, and all we’ve used all those years were condoms except when we wanted to have babies (we have 2), and in each case I got pregnant within a month of stopping condom use. So (fingers crossed!) they’ve worked for us!

Kara August 18, 2009, 9:50 AM

We use them because I’ve almost died twice due to complications during pregnancy. we have 2 kids and would love one more but the risk is to high so till one of us gets “fixed” we will use them.

Anon August 18, 2009, 10:04 AM

My husband has had a vasectomy but we use condoms because the “mess” turns me off so badly. I cannot stand the feeling of all the bodily fliuds.

ame i. August 18, 2009, 10:22 AM

I’ve never cared for condoms. I take the Pill and even when I (oops) skip a couple, nothing has come of it. I was off the Pill for over a year both times my late-husband and I conceived.
My “now” husband has volunteered to have the big V but I don’t know if we will.

mrs embers August 18, 2009, 11:08 AM

We used condoms before the first kid… and then the dog ate them… and I got pregnant. Used the Pill between kids, but the hormones screwed my body up really badly, and I didn’t like the extra hormones. I got my tubes tied when I had our second baby (c-section), and it was a great decision for me. I HATED condoms, more because of that horrible latex smell than anything else. SO gross!

birdsfly August 18, 2009, 11:47 AM

We used condoms before DH’s vasectomy. I was not about to go on the pill again. We discovered that the pill was making both me and my sister all crazy-like through our college years. (Think PMS but uglier!)

Anonymous August 18, 2009, 1:11 PM

my husband and I only used condoms before we got married and after the birth of our daughter. Then I missed a pill and our sex life dove because of it. Now I have paraguard. Its a 10 year IUD without hormones. So far so good.

Anonymous August 18, 2009, 2:15 PM

My husband doesn’t want a vasectomy and we aren’t sure if we’re going to have another child (we have 1)… so in the mean time, condoms are the way to go. I know I’d forget to take the pill every day at the same time, so I’m not risking anything like that. And we can’t afford several hundred dollars at once for Mirena IUD or anything like that… and the copper IUDs have far more side effects. For us, condoms are the way to go right now!

Anonymous August 18, 2009, 4:21 PM

I was on OrthoEvra (the patch) before my husband and I had our daughter, afterwards I tried to get back on he patch but I have horrible side effects. I became a bit depressed, and didnt like the way I was feeling, so I stopped using it. Now, we only use condoms.

A Mom August 18, 2009, 10:11 PM

My husband and I use condoms because I’m at risk for TSS (so no IUD) plus my body doesn’t not react well to artificial hormones and I can’t have real ones due to serious cancer risk.

I was on the pill for a while when we were first married, and I hated it. I got fat, broke out, and was bitchy. I stopped and all was well.

Now that we’re done having kids, he’s had the vasectomy, so in a few more weeks hopefully it’ll be no more condoms for us - forever!

Renee August 19, 2009, 1:13 PM

We don’t use condoms. My husband does not like them nor do I. I am on the IUD so no need to worry for us.

Melanie August 19, 2009, 3:40 PM

We have been using condoms since our son was born over three years ago. I would love to get an IUD but our insurance (when we had it) wouldn’t cover it and I couldn’t afford to pay 100%. Plus I have had issues in the past with the pill. Now I am back on it due to my endometriosis. I have used condoms more as a married woman than I did when I was young, dumb and single!

Miranda August 19, 2009, 8:55 PM

I am a nursing mother who is unfortunately stuck using condoms. I got pregnant on the pill (I was using it for three months and didn’t miss any pills), so I don’t trust it, and my insurance won’t cover any form of birth control so an IUD is out of the question.

K&C's mom August 22, 2009, 1:43 AM

My hubby and I use condoms, because when I took the pill, I became almost psychotic!!! Then tried another one, and I could hardly eat, it made my stomach hurt so bad, and I bled for 3 weeks then stopped for a week for 3 months, no more!!!! I can’t keep going through this until they find one that works for me!!! So we use condoms, mostly because we eventually want another, but are not ready yet!!!

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