Wanna know why skinny girls are so mean? It's not their personality; they're just hungry.
Katie Wisdom Weinstein: I am not thrilled to say that for my summer vacation (I do not really get a vacation), I am on a diet for the first time in my 41 years. Good God, chaos reigns supreme. See, I am the kind of girl who drinks beer, runs around with kids, makes chow for lots of people, and really appreciates the taste and texture that mayonnaise brings to any dish. I thought at one time that I wanted to die happy and fat, not skinny and mean.
I have a dress to fit into by October for a fancy shindig. Since I am no spring chicken, it takes a while for anything to go away on this body. I still run around with the kids, but my body is not reacting the way I need it to, and definitely not fast enough. So, I diet. I have cut out bread, carbs, alcohol (sort of), and sweets. I am now a bitch. While you lovingly eat ice cream and sandwiches, I eat salad. I might hate you a little bit. To really torture myself, I chose to do this in the summer, when cold beer goes down like butter. Remember summer concerts, picnics, and beer? A thing of my past.
My kids are confused by my increased passion for salads -- I think they want their "ice cream cones and candy all around!" mom back. They might be a little disturbed by my new puppy dog eyes. I should just get on the dining room floor and look at them like I have never eaten a meal, like our dog does. I could beg and do tricks for treats! Wait, how much fat is in one of those tasty puppy treats?
I even bore myself now. There is nothing worse than discussing non-fattening food. I can talk about starting a roux, or the most delicious pie until the cows come home, but trans fats and calories? Can it, Sister.
I have a new theory: some skinny girls are bitches because they are just really, really hungry. That's me. I am in detox from sugar and fat. I am jonesin' for a cupcake or a margarita, but instead I get low-fat string cheese, fruit, and water. Yay.
Now I have to really step up the exercise. I work full-time, so I could sneak it in at lunch. It is no secret that I do not love exercise for the sake of exercise. I love to dance, run around in the park, play, bike, swim, and wrestle. I do not love exercise clothes, sweaty gym equipment, or girls who can wear yoga half-shirts. I imagine that the second tier of bitch will soon come out. She is nasty, so I have to keep her under wraps. At least until this fancy-dress-shindig is over!
|Katie Wisdom Weinstein is a professional modern momma. She lives in Portland, Oregon in a 100 year old house with her husband, Jess, and her two children Ruby, age 10 and Skylar, age 12. Cooking, camping, negotiating with pre-teens and allowing a zoo of animals in her house are her pastimes.|