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Oh Where Have My Sippy Cups Gone

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Tracy McArdle: Sung to the tune of "Where Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?"

woman looking in sofa for sippy cup

Oh where oh where have my sippy cups gone
Oh where the hell can they be??!
Last night I know I had seventy-one
Now, it seems I'm down to three.

There's one on the floor of my Toyota Prius
And one wedged under the bed
And I think the dog just chewed one up
Perhaps I'll use a wine glass instead.

I know the Thomas cup's at daycare,
And Dora must be at my mom's
The Nuby one now is full of green mold
And that's just one of its charms!

My infant hurled the green one out
Of my car going eighty-two
A cop pulled me over and chewed me out
Just as my son had to poo

I think they must have gone to the place
Where binkies and favorite toys hide
When children melt down and you need them most
And you're going to explode inside!

Oh where oh where have my sippy cups gone
Oh where (goddammit!) can they be?
If I can't find one in this whole damn house
Guess my kid will just go thirsty!

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