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Push Presents are Tacky

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You were sick for nine months, you lost your tight abs, and you pushed out a seven-pound baby. Are you expecting diamonds?

husband holding a present for wife.

Most new moms consider their babies to be the greatest gift ever, but more and more moms expect presents upon the arrival of their little ones. Call it crazy, but it's true. Their bundles of joy simply aren't enough to make up for nine months of nausea, back pain, bloating, and weight gain. Now, men are expected to deliver turquoise boxes right in the delivery room. Huh?!

Here's the problem: women are expecting presents and getting greedy. While preparing their hospital bags, they are wondering if their husbands got them what they wanted. They are setting up expectations. There are now push present registries, and women are dropping hints to their partners during their nine-month plight. Birth now comes with a "what am I going to get?" expectation. Isn't that a little strange? Isn't having a baby enough of a gift? Not to mention: the most difficult part of having a child isn't the 9 months of pregnancy -- it's the first 3 months of a baby's life ... the exhaustion, the adjustments. Are we expecting gifts for surviving that, too?

Because the idea of a material push present sounds kind of gross, how about having your man hire a nanny or cleaning crew, getting a baby nurse, or sending you to a masseuse for some much-needed relaxation? Doesn't that sound a little more helpful and supportive than getting a Tiffany box?

If your man wants to get you something, let him. But writing a wish list or registering for your presents? That is just plain wrong.


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10 comments so far | Post a comment now
anon August 4, 2009, 7:13 AM

I got ‘push’ presents for both kids, diamond stud earrings first time and right hand ring 2nd time. My husband asked me ahead of time if I wanted something and I said yes, and that I wanted it to be something “I could enjoy everyday” and left it at that. I smile every time I see my jewels, along with my weddings one, and as materialistic as they are, remind me of my life’s most precious joys. Honestly, I do not want to go there but I sense some jealousy and angst in your post. Push registries on the other hand, this is the first I have heard of such a thing.

anon August 4, 2009, 7:14 AM

I got ‘push’ presents for both kids, diamond stud earrings first time and right hand ring 2nd time. My husband asked me ahead of time if I wanted something and I said yes, and that I wanted it to be something “I could enjoy everyday” and left it at that. I smile every time I see my jewels, along with my weddings one, and as materialistic as they are, remind me of my life’s most precious joys. Honestly, I do not want to go there but I sense some jealousy and angst in your post. Push registries on the other hand, this is the first I have heard of such a thing.

Natalie August 4, 2009, 8:54 AM

I haven’t gotten one, but I don’t see why you have a problem with what other people get. Our deal is that I get an Edible Arrangements “bouquet” when I give birth this time, and I’m super excited about it. But if we had the money, I’m sure DH would buy me something pretty and sparkly. Yes, a baby is an awesome gift, but why not be rewarded for all your hard work?

Gigohead  August 4, 2009, 1:27 PM

This is the first time I’ve heard about this.

Sharon August 4, 2009, 1:37 PM

I agree with the writer…I have 4 children and each were worth their weight in gold. I had two showers held for me for my first child and none thereafter. Although friends may have given us gifts after the babies were born, it was due to their generosity and not because I signed up for FREEBIES. That’s not why I had children.

Giving a gift is fine if that is what your husband, friend or lover wants to do, but to have a registry for something like this is utterly ridiculous.

Anonymous August 4, 2009, 2:02 PM

my gift for the first three months was that my child and i survived it! for a first time mom with a child that if he wasn’t sleeping, he was crying…it was so hard….and everytime he’d start crying my husband would go play video games with my step-son or go fishing. somehow i found strength that i had no clue i had. point is….thats when i should have gotten a gift!

May August 4, 2009, 2:46 PM

If your husband wants to get you something for giving him a child then that’s great but you specifically registering for something or asking for it point blank is kind of superficial. Now I don’t consider food part of this. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was vomiting all nine months so I asked my husband to please get me a pastrami, salami, ham and cheese sandwich after I gave birth. It was the best meal ever.

Barb August 4, 2009, 4:34 PM

I’ve never heard of a registry for this, but my hubby gave me a gorgeous antique-style ring the day our second child was born. I was completely surprised. It was something I had said months (years maybe?) earlier that I loved, and then I forgot about it, so I was thrilled when he gave that to me on that special day. I love the ring, and when people ask (they often do… it’s a pretty ring), I say, “My husband gave that to me the day Brodie was born” and they’re always impressed.

stephanie August 4, 2009, 5:48 PM

I think that kids are a wonderful gift. That said, they are a gift that the husband also recieves, and all he has to do is get laid. I think that since women do all the work, that yes, we *do* deserve a present, since we did the extra work.

Amy August 7, 2009, 6:55 PM

My husband didn’t get me anything when my girls were born, and I didn’t give a crap. After all, I’d just given birth to a beautiful baby girl, both times!

On my first valentine’s day after my first baby was born, my husband (who never buys me jewelry!) got a “mom” locket from himself and our daughter. The fact that he thought of it himself and I didn’t have to hint about it made it much more precious to me than a “push present” off of a “registry”

I totally agree with the perspective that we’ve become a materialistic and selfish society, increasingly in debt. No wonder our kids grow up expecting to be given everything they want and thinking only of themselves - they’re imitating mom and dad!


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